Post # 1
I am semi-officially engaged, in that he just has to pay off the ring and ask the question but we’ve already discussed wedding and timelines.
The other week I spotted a gorgeous dress in a shop window. Lace a-line with a train and lace straps. Beautiful, up to that point my exact dream dress. I pointed it out to SO and was met with a grimace.
“You like THAT?”
Oh. Okay. So I googled some more, and fell in love with the idea of a chiffon and lace tea-length dress with sleeves. Again, walking past a shop he noticed me looking and asked if I liked it. I said yes.
“Nah, wedding dresses should be floorlength.”
So I asked him what he liked. He just looked at me and said –
“You won’t wear a strapless, will you?”
I just want to faceplant the desk. All the ones I like he hates, and the one thing I absolutely despise he really likes!! I know it’s ultimately going to be my choice but I don’t want to wear anything that will make him think ‘eugh, I don’t like THAT.’ At the same time it’s meant to be a surprise!
I am just so frustrated. Has anyone else had an experience with SO’s tastes not matching yours?
ETA: No offence to anyone who’s wearing strapless, I do like them but with my chest it’s just not practical for me personally.
Post # 3
Men don’t have any idea what wedding dresses actually look like on brides. When you’re all jazzed up, he’ll just remember that you were beautiful and in white. Wear what you want!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@TopazTurtle: Unless you plan on breaking tradition and him going with you to go dress shopping or he’s going to pick it out then don’t listen to him. Men don’t have much of a clue to dresses, much less one that he won’t see prior to your wedding ceremony. Don’t worry about it and I am sure no matter what he will think you are beautiful no matter what, as pp said.
Post # 5
@laceydoilies: I know, I just don’t want to walk down the aisle and he’s laughing cos I picked out the exact type of dress he said he hates 🙁
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@TopazTurtle: I don’t think he will even remember, you know, a year or so from now. Also, there are cover up options if you are really concerned that go well with the dresses (little bolero or whatever). I don’t think that he will laugh at all. If he’s like most grooms he will have the deer in headlights look on his face as he sees you. I think you worry too much about it … 🙂
Post # 7
Maybe try bombarding him with tons of different pics and asking him which he DOES like.. Then you can gauge what features he likes and what overall look appeals to him the most. You never know, your tastes may overlap somewhere. But if not, as long as it isn’t too out of the box, most guys wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between dresses and you should just go for the one you love the most. The importance boys place on the dress is surprisingly low!
Post # 8
YES!!! I downloaded the Knot’s app on my iPad. I saved a bunch of dresses as “Favorites” and showed him all of them and told him to pick out his favorite. His reaction “Well, they are all big on the bottom”…. Well DUH! Wedding dresses are supposed to be big on the bottom! He picked a nice one out, but I can’t find it – and he suggested getting somone to paint a wedding dress on me….Ugh…He won’t let up on that one….You should see half the “wedding dress” pictures he sends me…..porn…or barely there wedding dresses
I’m sure no matter what we wear, big at the bottom, strapless, lace, anything, they see us, they will love it. It’s our one day we will look beautiful, and in their eyes. Thats all they will see.
So I came to the conclusion – don’t ask him – get what YOU want to wear – what YOU think you look best in! He will love it either way!
Post # 9
@jmaze: “he suggested getting somone to paint a wedding dress on me”
Hahahahahaha. How very Playboy-chic of him. Guys can be so silly. 😛
Post # 10
Maybe he’s just not that good at visualizing the dress on you. Whichever dress you pick look quite different in the window than on you at the wedding. I agree with the PP’s that you should show him lots of options to see what he does like. My FI and I were browsing through dress websites and he kept pointing out styles I absolutely hated, whereas I pointed out styles he didn’t really care for. But I know that the dress I finally pick will look amazing on me, and he won’t care about whether he likes the style or not on our wedding day.
Post # 11
I feel the same way!! To a T!!! Everything I like he doesn’t and everything he likes I hate! I love the mermaid/trumpet he hates it and said it doesnt look right; it’s all skinny mini then boom poof at the bottom. He likes pickup and big dresses, I’m short and big dresses aren’t really my thing, pick-up’s look like comforters to me. It’s really frustrating! But I recently went shopping and completely fell in love with a huge ball gown. I had the same opinion about a strapless dress, being a 34DD I said I wanted straps all the way. I set out only looking for dresses with straps or some form of top support. But over all when I tried on different styles like strapless as suggested by my MOH, I fell head over heels for a tulle ball gown, STRAPLESS! I swore up and down, left and right I didn’t want strapless…and every store you go to is like “oh well when the dress is fitted and altered to you it won’t move it will be perfect or we can always add straps”, well my best friends mother has a larger chest and had a strapless dress and she was pulling the dress up all night long!! And as for adding straps, I can’t visualize it unless its there..so yea…. But at the end of the day I really love the dress I have picked.. strapless or not.
Go with your heart, it may take a while to find what you like/want, I have been looking around for a year! And just now found something I love!
Post # 12
@TopazTurtle: i dont like strapless dresses normally either (i have a large chest) – but in a wedding dress it felt different. i was totally secure and felt comfortable. i wouldnt rule it out until you try it.
Post # 13
he shouldn’t see your wedding dress until he sees you the day of the wedding. pick something that you feel beautiful in. bring your MOH or mother with you when you go dress shopping.
Post # 14
The secret is, don’t ask! I repeat! Don’t ask! You don’t want him to know what you’re wearing anyway, or to get any hints! Men’s tastes are generally very different from women’s, and that DEFINITELY extends to bridal. My FI even refuses to give opinions when I watch SYTTD since I bought my dress in case he accidentally says he hates something that’s on my dress. ^.^
Post # 15
OK. Here’s the deal. DON’T SHOW HIM ANY DRESSES. Pick out what you love and what looks good on you. It’s your dress. On your wedding day, he’ll think you’re the most beautiful bride in the world. He won’t care what the dress looks like.
Post # 16
My fi had a certain idea of what I should be wearing, based on my personality. I’m the bubbly sparkly kind of person… he envisions me in a big PRINCESS dress! Which is PERFECT!
I would entertain whichever ideas your fi had, ask him what he wouldn’t like [tea length, strapless, ect], and then go try on dresses. At least make him feel like you’re somewhat listening and his opinion matters.
At the bridal shop, even if you find a dress that isn’t what he envision, don’t worry! Once you’re in your dress looking gorgeous, he won’t be able to keep his mind on anything else!