Post # 1
My mother grew up in a conservative family. Her parents divorced when she was little and then she lived with a foster family. Her foster dad was a pastor for a long time and my mom finds it very offensive that they now drink and do other party-like things. To be honest, my mom is uncomfortable around anything that could be rated higher than PG in a movie (no drinking, no crude jokes, nothing slightly immodest, etc).
Anyways, my mom’s foster brother is getting remarried. The other day I received an invitation in the mail for my soon-to-be aunt’s bachelorette party. I’ve been super excited to go. It’s at her friend’s house and we are invited to stay the night so I made sure to get off work the next day and everything.
But here’s the thing..it’s my first bachelorette party. And the first time I’ve ever really drank around family before. I know this side of the family is by far the more liberal side. And I like that about them so I’m excited to go. However I know that some of the things I find acceptable and some of the things they find acceptable are totally different. And I’m scared to death that there will be a stripper that magically shows up. The party is an hour away, yet I want to drink. I thought maybe I could allow myself to go somewhere else (a coffee shop or something) if a stripper showed up–but then I couldn’t get drunk and I know they’ll be doing shots. But then I thought maybe emailing my aunt and asking if they will invite one…but I fear in her want for me to come she might either lie or really not know since she’s not planning it and said her friend can go from one extreme to the other.
I’m not sure what I should do. What is rude, and what is not? Should I tell her I can’t make it because of work, simply because I don’t agree with strippers and one could show up? Or should I go and try to make an escape plan? Or maybe email her? Any advice is welcome!
Post # 3
I didn’t think most women had strippers at their bachelorette parties. I honestly thought that was just something they showed on TV as the cliche.
Do you know who is hosting the bachelorette? Is it her or one of her friends? Maybe you can get in touch with a friend to see if that’s what they plan on doing.
Post # 4
Maybe just don’t get out-of-control drunk either way, I mean -if you don’t totally feel comfortable/ or do not know what could happen. Maybe just take it easy, have fun, but stay clear-headed so that you can leave if you feel uncomfortable.
Post # 5
A stripper isn’t going to latch onto you or anything, if you’re not interested and there is one there, he/she isn’t going to do anything if you’re saying no. Seriously, strippers are people too.
Post # 6
I understand being uncomfortable with strippers, or not agreeing with it or whatever, but is that really enough of a reason to miss out on what will otherwise probably be a really fun party? I would just bring a book or something to keep occupied, and if a stripper shows up, slip away into the bathroom, or outside until they’re gone. It won’t take up the entire evening. Anyway, I think it’s pretty unlikely that any strippers would be involved. I think I speak for a lot of women when I say male strippers are kind of icky.
Post # 7
personally, i think if the thought bothers you that much you shouldn’t go. if i knew someone was having strippers at their party i would decline to attend. firstly, because it would be offensive and secondly, i wouldn’t surround myself with people who prefered this sort of “low-level” entertainment. nothing good comes of “people” who take off their clothes for money. and most “strippers” do a lot more than take their clothes off anymore. prostitution has moved off the streets and into strip clubs.
Post # 8
@ijustrockout: I like how you put the word people in quotation marks like somehow strippers aren’t really people because of what they do for a living. That’s an awfully high horse you’re on.
Post # 9
Wow. As someone that DOES take her clothes off for a living (but not in a strip club) I just want to say. I AM a person 😛 *I dare anyone to flag this post. I consider it self defence from an attack on and defenation of my character based on prejudice of my career choice.
Post # 10
@ijustrockout: Harsh. I’m not the biggest fan of male strippers, but I’ve definitely been to Chippendales type shows and had a blast. I certainly wouldn’t consider it “low level” entertainment or prostitution.
Post # 11
i would just go. if a stripper does come (prolly not likely) theyre not there for you anyways. you can always go in the next room.
Post # 12
Just wanted to agree with Melissa and say Mrs Golden is awesome 🙂
Post # 13
I would honestly not worry about it. Male strippers are kind of gross (not as in the person is gross, but looking at a mostly nude guy who isn’t FI is gross), and I’m sure she won’t have one. If she does, then you can just disappear for awhile since it makes you uncomfortable.
Post # 14
I think if a stripper is a deal breaker for you, you should ask the host if they will have strippers. Then, if you’re told no and one shows up, have an exit strategy – this may mean not drinking. Do you want to drink more or avoid a stripper more?
@ijustrockout: This was uncalled for, and you should probably look up how to use quotes.
Post # 15
If one shows up and you’re uncomfortable maybe step outside, have FI on call for a chat while the stripper is there.. take a drink with you and just go back in when the show is over 🙂
Post # 16
Awww thanks Hun. I didn’t see Melissa’s post so they may have removed it. A mod definately removed a part of my post but I’m a big girl and I stand by my original comment. Lol. Thanks for the support ladies!