Post # 1
DH says he’s ready to ttc but I second guess that. The main obstacle is that I want to buy a house and settle in, BEFORE we ttc. Financially we are very stable. We have savings with a big enough cushion to get us through a year if I left work. I said I’d be ready after we had been married a year, a year and a half later I’m saying I’ll be ready when we buy a house. I’m worried after we buy a house I might keep putting it off. I’m 24, DH is 27. We want to be parents, and I know we would be able to provide for our little one, I know we would love our little one, it’s just a very daunting thought that we would be responsible for someone’s life! I feel like such a weirdo for feeling this way! I thought I wouldn’t be nervous but I am! I know we could do it, and I WANT to do it, I just feel scared. Am I alone in this? Mama Bees: What changed your mind if you were feeling this way?
I think the most daunting thing is trying to tackle buying a house and ttc at the same time. The thought of a new house and a new baby scares me. Too many things at once!
Post # 3
@Kimber_bee: First, don’t feel bad about wanting to get a house first and do other things.
However, that being said, you will always have other things that feel like a good excuse for pushing TTC back. We wanted to get a house and dog first. We accomplished that and were going to try in late fall, but then we were like, “Really? What are we waiting for?” Nothing.
DH was ready, but I was nervous, probably becuase I knew my body would change, and at that point I had just lost 26 pounds so the thought of getting big again didn’t appease me. But We just relaxed and went ahead and did it, not really putting too much pressure on ourselves to really actively try at it although I did make sure to BD on my ovulation days. We ended up pregnant, and I am totally ok with it. In fact, I am psyched now. I have seen a heartbeat and looked at this little thing that started out as nothing more than a thought. it’s amazing. I think every day about how I am going to keep this baby alive becuase I know nothing compared to what some women know. But I also know I was born to be a mom.
It is scary, but just know that there is never a perfect time. There will always be something to do, but if you are ready, emotionally and financially then take the step. If you truly don’t feel responsible enough or want to wait until you have a house, that is a completely valid point, and a good idea in my opnion. I knew I could raise a child in an apt, but I didn’t want to, so I waited until we had one.
Post # 4
@megz06: Thanks. This made me smile, and it’s nice to hear somebody else who’s been there say that there really is no perfect time. Thanks for sharing.
Post # 5
@Kimber_bee: Hello date-twin! And almost date twin! @megz06:
I am also feeling simillar to Kimber_bee…DH is ready whenever but I’m the one wanting to wait. We’re both 25 and I have it in my head that I don’t want a baby until I’m 27. I would encourage you that if you want to find a home for your family then tackle that life changing decision first. It’s a big one and takes a long time to get settled and feel like that place is home. Then revisit how you feel about ttc. We have a home and I’ve loved the time we’ve taken to make it feel homey to us with furniture, paint, new fixtures and decorations. I can’t imagine how stressful all that would be during ttc or pregnant! Bottom line, if one of you isn’t ready, then you as a couple aren’t ready. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 6
@megz06: Could not have said it better myself!
After we got married, DH and I thought we would wait a couple years before TTC. One year later he wants to start trying and I got so scared and actually cried because of it. I mean don’t get me wrong I want to be a mother, it means the world to me to have kids but actually doing the deed TRYING to get pregnant goes against everything I have trained my thinking since highschool. That being said, we started, we succeeded and I cannot be happier.
The thought of a child is scary, but that is a good sign that you’re going in with more information that thinking that babies are all rainbows and ponies!
Post # 7
@Kimber_bee: Totally normal.
I am 30 and we JUST started TTC this month and I am still terrified. To have a child changes everything and it is a huge step and one not to be taken lightly. I think when you are ready your fears will be more apprehension than anything else, that is where I am now.
Post # 8
@Kimber_bee: I wasn’t scared to TTC (My career was working in an infant room with 7 babies, so one seemed like a vacation!)
Then I got pregnant. And I have been having WAVES of terror ever since!
What if I’m a bad mom? What if my Princess doesn’t love me? What if…
I think this is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. And from what I’ve heard, it never 100% goes away!
Post # 10
@Kimber_bee: I’m not even ttc yet, but I go through periods of “heck yes, I’m so excited!” interspersed with lots of “oh god god, I’m not ready for this!” I think it’s normal and natural to worry about such a huge decision.
Post # 11
@Kimber_bee: girl, join my world! I’m ‘ready’ but not 100% content and over-the-freaking home happy and couldn’t imagine my life ever better ‘ready’…
The fact is I LOVE my life right now, and I’m scared of the change. But I’m so ready to have a family with my husband. So bring on the scary changes…. and no house!