Post # 1
So Im a total avid poster on here but now that both my sisters are planning weddings im scared they will find this and connect it back to me…so here we go.
Im broke *har har*
Darling Husband has gone back to school and we are getting along just by the skin on our teeth day to day. We dont want to get a loan so we are just living off my wage while he goes back to school. Everyone knows this. As much as i would love to be rich im fine with this to…im okay living dollar to dollar if that means I wont go in debt.
This Xmas my in laws wanted to go tyo Mexico for Christmas. We told them we can tafford to go not that Darling Husband is in school so we have to pass. They say no way and pay our whole way…a complete blessing that im thrilled with. Im bad at accepting chartiy though and cried about it alot with my mom. She had been very supportive the whole time though and said, we just have to tell them we cant afford it ….blah blah blah.
Fastforward to…yesterday. My sister gets engaged and tells me she is having a destination wedding…*gulp* She is in school as well and totally knows our sitution. Our other sister also had just announced she is pregnant, and also unemployed..so yeah…we are all broke. I dont say anything to her, but do mention is might be hard on other sister since she will have a 6 month old baby at that time.
This sister says she is going to do her wedding in mexico at xmas as well would all spend money at that time anyways and it would be nice to have a vacation together. Well Darling Husband and I have been saving airmiles for two years now so we could fly home for xmas for FREE this year. Xmas 2012 WAS going to cost 500.00 with gifts included…now we are looking at 2500.00…we cant do it!!!!
I dont know what to do or say!!!!! do i even say anything or just suck it up?! They JUST (as in last night) got engaged..so maybe the dust will settle and she will remember all the tearful conversations we have had the past year about being broke….i dont know.
She was engaged to another man about 18 months ago and was going to have a wedding in our hometown, typical generic wedding, party, flowers etc. I wasnt even going to be in the wedding…I think she wants the destination wedding bc its the opposite of what she had planned a little over a year ago! and this time im in the party….
Im so stressed….
Post # 3
By having a Destination Wedding, your sister has to be understanding that you either need help with that financially or you can’t go… that really sucks that you may have to miss your own sister’s wedding, but I mean what can you do? If she really has to have you there and will not help pay for your trip than she has to consider having a local wedding.
Post # 4
Oh i know she wont help. They are broke too!! Im really hoping she is just on some kind of engaged high right now…..
She knows everyones financial situation so how can she possibly think this will work?!! I just dont want to be the first person to say…”umm yeah….we cant do it”
Post # 5
Ugh, what a tough situation. Maybe you and your other sister (the one with the baby) can sit down and tell the Destination Wedding sister that you both can’t make it for financial reasons. Maybe she will rethink the Destination Wedding when she realizes how her two sisters can’t attend.
Post # 6
@MapleMoose: Im hoping it doesnt have to come to that.
Its hard bc this summer we were planning a 50th bday getawy for my mom and i requested it just be later in the summer so we have time to save up some money as Darling Husband works during the summer… I also came up with an alternative getaway that would be fraction of the cost…i was called a bitch and was told i was cheap… 🙁
If i say ANYTHING about the expense of this wedding it WILL come back and bite me in the ass. My sister with the baby is AWFUL with money, she literally doesnt have a dime. Yes she is excited and is all, yeah we will put money aside…..WHAT Money sweetheart, your not working and any money bf is making should go towards LIVING….why am i the only one with my head screwed on when it comes to money….
or am i being to stingy? should i just get this money somehow and move on?
Post # 7
No, you are not being stingy. Sounds like you’re the only one being responsible. It’s really great that your husband is going through school without debt, way to go. Don’t let your rude, overbearing family (a bitch for needing to save up, really?! Not acceptable.) cause you grief for sticking to a budgetyou and your husband agreed upon. It is none of their business, regardless of birthdays or weddings.
I went to a wedding recently where one of the guests was present via Skype on a laptop. Maybe this could be a last resort for you. (:
But talk to your sister sooner rather than later, so she has no reason to be “surprised” if you can’t attend her wedding.
Post # 8
Just tell your sister you can’t attend due to finances and encourage any family members in a similar situation to do the same. That puts the ball in her court. She can either plan the Destination Wedding and accept you not being there or plan an at-home wedding instead.
My H’s family lives in India and his sister announced her wedding with about 3 months notice. We’re broke, so we told her right away that we would not be able to make it. His sister (and the family) were disappointed, but understanding. Sometimes you just can’t make it, no matter how much you want to and family of all people should understand