(Closed) I’m sick of hearing people whine…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
78 posts
Worker bee

Oh no, that’s so annoying! People should either just come and not complain about it, or stay home. Period. It’s not like you are making people fly to Hawaii against their will. We had a similar problem…one of our friends kept complaining about the cost of flying "across the country" to our wedding (sorry, a 3 hour flight is not across the country), and on, and on, and kept delaying making a decision. In the end he chose not to come (after the RSVP had long passed), and frankly, by the end I was glad he didn’t because I didn’t want to deal with his whining!

Post # 4
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Right on sister!!  I’d like to formally add my signature to this complaint.  I invited you.  If you cant make it, though you’ve had 2 years notice!!!!, I’ll understand.  But shut up with the complaints!

Post # 5
Member
72 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

Ugh, that’s awful.  Especially since you gave them plenty of notice.  It’s just a plain destination wedding!  If anything, I think it could be viewed as selfish to have a second reception at home, which some people view as being grubbing for gifts (not necessarily the case, of course, but I think you’re doing the right thing).

Keep your head high and your plan intact!

Post # 7
Member
271 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

The one thing that is always constant through any type of planning is no matter how hard you try people will always complain.That’s what they do. I tend to make a point by complaining right back to them, it shuts most people up.

Example: "It’s just so expensive to go travel nowadays and especially at that time of the year. I just don’t think you really thought it all the way out"

Me: "Uh, I know right?  I hate when I’ve been planning for years now and telling people about the date from day one and the place and for some reason people remind me of how I forgot to think it out all the way. I swear, I really should learn how to think and plan better huh?"

Post # 8
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Its not quite Maui, but i live in WI and my family is in Ohio (14 hour car ride) My mom has been bugging me to have it in Ohio. Its about what you want and what is convenient to you and your future husband. The people that matter and who really care will come no matter what.

Good Luck

Post # 9
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Ugh, so irritating!! If I were you I’d try to focus on the so-there factor, like, they can whine all they want, but it’s YOUR day, YOUR dream wedding, and its gonna happen with or without them! They should be gracious to be invited at all! The nerve of some people. Honestly, I think it’s awesome you’re doing this despite people’s comments. We wanted to get married in Greece but when we first brought it up we got a lot of complaints about the cost, etc. My cousin, who is a BM even said "Well if you get married in Greece, I can’t be in it because we won’t go." I’m like, okay. In the end because of timing and the fact that so many of our friends wouldn’t have been able to come, we had to settle for a stateside wedding. Howeer sometimes I wish we were strong like you and said- so what?! The only thing that matters is us and our families!

I don’t think other people understand how frustrating it is to hear complaints about your wedding, so feel free to vent here some more!! Let it out!!

Post # 10
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My MOH is dealing with a situation like yours.  She & her FI planned an incredible weeklong wedding adventure.  She convinced her FI to open the guest list up to friends & not just close family.  Then her childhood friends & even her sister fought with her about the fact they chose a destination wedding & that they had the audacity to get married in October.  How dare they!

I feel so bad for her that I am the only one of her girl friends actually going to the wedding, but I think she’ll have a better time without them whining the whole time.

Post # 11
Member
7054 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I know it’s real..but it’s almost imho become a "catchphrase" for people to get out of any obligation that requires money…

"I’d love to go/buy this/give you a gift/ do whatever, but…we’re in a recession right now and $$ is tight".

That’s what is bugging me over and over.  It’s imho the new national craze..even if you’re NOT affected that much by the economy, you can blame it and use it as a scapegoat for various situations..such as a destination wedding.

I had a friend (now a distant friend and was going to be a bridesmaid who’s a stay at home mom, her H makes well into the 6 figures who recently moved out of state) tell me that it’s so expensive for her family (her kids are friends with my child) to go to my wedding..and were we PAYING for their room and board?  Also was I PAYING for her bridesmaid dress???  Um…NO. 

But never fear!!! I have THE SOLUTION to this issue.  Use reverse psychology..

Since I no longer want them at our wedding, and T and I really don’t want them in our circle of closest friends (after we gave them a huge going away party and never thanked us and she acted like a jackass at the party), I’m going to tell her..no, it’s totally ok.  YOU DO NOT HAVE TO COME.  It’s all right.  It’s going to be small anyway.  The economy sucks.  I can’t afford either because money is tight and we’re in a recession to buy your dress, after all I’m a single mom still and definitely cannot pay for your hotel rooms for you and the kids.

Give them an out.  If you don’t want them to come if they’re whining too much or making things miserable, USE THE SAME EXCUSE right back.   

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ugh, how frustrating.

My aunt called the other day to complain to me about how expensive it was for her to fly in town for my wedding….yes, it’s expensive NOW, 6 weeks before my big day. Not so much 11 months ago when I sent everyone from out of town an FYI with some travelocity links.

All you can say is, "That’s ok, i totally understand if you cannot come" Don’t feel guilty, do what you want to do. I can’t believe they actually expect you to fly them out to Maui! I’d be psyched to use a wedding in Maui as an excuse to go on vacation and get a discounted hotel room (group rates!) and whatnot!

 

Post # 14
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

yeah thats really annoying.

just remember that people are complaining because they want to be there on your big day and probably feel instantly bummed that they wont be able to. of course, that is NOT an excuse to be selfish and try to influence your dream wedding…but maybe keeping that in mind will help you turn a deaf ear to the whining.

Post # 15
Member
5823 posts
Bee Keeper

I haven’t had any complaints about my DW wedding…I think it’s my personality.  My family knows that if they said ANYTHING like you’ve heard, they would get punched in the face.  "MY wedding isn’t about accomodating YOU.  SHUT UP."  (FI actually said that to his bro, and I was so proud!  We really are two peas in a pod!)

Post # 16
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

How annoying. Time and time again all I can say to people is the only thing you should ever tell a bride is "perfect. I love it. That’ll be wonderful."

We are having a destination wedding as well and the place where we’ll be married is fairly expensive  so a lot of people are staying elsewhere. Which is fine, but some people who are extremely well off won’t stay at the ranch (where it’s happening) because they don’t think it’s nice enough! Pish tosh! so annoying. 

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