I'm so angry at DH!! Don't judge, just let me vent

posted 2 years ago in Married Life
Post # 2
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

Couples should have friendships outside of each other and alone time and yadda yadda etc BUT! He’s acting like a jerk. Seriously. That’s absurd. You need to have a major sit-down with him about this. Hugs!

Post # 3
Member
1878 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013 - Valparaiso, IN

Yea. That would tick me off too. I mean I would understand that he works a lot, but family ALWAYS comes before friends. That’s what happens when you get married and decide to start a family.

Post # 4
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius

That’s completely out of line, you are not a horrible wife, you are doing this for your little girl, not for yourself. He spends a lot of time with his friends and his priorities are obviously totally wrong. I think men who work 7 days a week feel that their free time is their free time, and they do whatever it is they feel relaxes them or what they want to do, the sad thing is that should be spening time with his child. At best, a split between family and friends, as Rachel said, it’s imporatant to have a life outside of work and married life/parenting but he needs to get the mix right x

Post # 5
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I’d be really upset too. Sticking the baby in a PnP while he spends time with friends is not responsible parenting. You’d think he’d want to spend time with his wife and daughter since he never sees them.

Post # 6
Member
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I would be pissed too!  

Post # 7
Member
6026 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You can’t force him to spend time with his child. He has to want to do that. Perhaps a conversation on the benefits to the child of having her father in her life is in order.

that said, perhaps a more equitable distribution of employment is also in order. If i had only had two days off since Christmas, I’d want to go get drunk with my friends too. 

Post # 8
Member
8821 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’d be pissed too. He’s acting like an immature young guy.  He’s a father, there’s no need to go get drunk. If I only had 2 days off I would want to spend every second with my family. (Also, now that I’m a mom I honestly don’t think I’ll ever get drunk again, I have no desire to).

Post # 9
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

I see both sides here.

On one hand, I would be really ticked off too and I do think he should be spending as much time with his daughter as he can.  I’d also be hurt he didn’t want to spend time with his daughter when he can.

On the other hand, I would also be really ticked off if I worked 7 days a week so my spouse could stay home, and then my spouse started dictating what I should do on my second day off since Christmas.  I see how it looks from your side, but try to see it from his side too.  

Post # 10
Member
905 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think he absolutely needs to be spend time with his daughter. The question is more why doesnt he want to? If he works that much he should be DYING to see her during the day and play with her!

Post # 12
Member
39 posts
Newbee

I’m glad to hear that your husband has said that , OP, hopefully he is realising that he needs to spend some time with his daugher. I would be angry in your shoes too. You must feel that you shouldn’t have to ask him to make time for your DD, he should want to.

Of course he has a heavy workload and of course he will want to spend time with his friends, relax, unwind etc but, as you know, it’s important that DD gets some Daddy Time too. I hope the two of you can come to an agreement on this, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all.

 

Post # 13
Member
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Hugs looks like he might be using friends to avoid time alone with your baby !!! Which hate to say is normal he probably hasn’t a clue what do with her most men dont at that age so he has the guys over to fill the gap n has baby DD in the room he thinks in room or diaper changes feelings are time spent …my advise see if you can find fathers group or others dads for him to hang with so he can bring DD to the group once a month n meet other dads get to know them n DD gets to play with other babies n mommy gets a break you need that to girl !!! dont forget you need time to to be a woman !!!

Post # 14
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My husband works two jobs too, has for a long time, he has weekends off but is usually too tired to do much, he tries but has  trouble finding energy to help with the boys. When he does have a burst of energy I’m delighted when he wants to spend time with us or work on chores and projects around the house with me…but every now and then he craves a night out and I have to bite my lip! I know how you feel. :/

Post # 15
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Fall_In_Love22: If this were just a “my husband” nag, I *might* judge. But family comes first. When you choose to have kids and a family when working 7 days a week is required, that doesn’t mean that on the first day off, you get to run out and play like a ten year old. If he doesn’t like it, then maybe he should have thought about being a parent. 

Yeah, hubby would have a frying pan waiting for him when he got home. And I mean a frying pan to the head to knock some sense into him. 

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