Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. He got my engagement ring in April and it has been sitting in his nightstand ever since. At first he promised we would be engaged by June..that came and went and then it was August and I know it’s not goin to happen before then. I’ve tried talking to him about how he keeps getting my hopes up and letting me down and all he can say is that he’s sorry. He says that he’s ready to be engaged he’s just not ready to ask. He’s been engaged before and I can’t help but feel like im mnot good enough. I cry almost every night when I go to bed knowing my ring is just sitting here. To top is off our friends for engaged today and I’m so happy for them but I can’t help but be hurt ):Y boyfriend has mentioned several times that we would be engaged before them (because he knew their timeline) and I can’t help but tear up from all the stuff that they’re posting on Facebook and pics of her ring and stuff..I know I shouldn’t be jealous of our friends but I can’t help it. It’s embarrassing because everyone knows that he’s had my ring so long and people being it up all the time and all I can say is I don’t know. I’ve stopped bringing it up and try to keep my feelings of disappointment to myself but its so hard and all my friends will say is “be patient” I can’t freaking be patient anymore when he keeps promising to do it and then not following through. It’s really effectimg me emotionally and I know that in turn its making him put it off even longer! What am I supposed to do? I feel nothing but sadness when I think about it and I feel like if we get engaged anytime soon his friends will think I pressures h because our other friends just for engaged. I know I sound like a whiny brat but I just need to vent to someone ):
Post # 3
Why did he tell you he got the ring? Why did you tell your friends?
You’ve only been together a year… no wonder he’s stalling. I’d go crazy too knowing he had the ring, but this isn’t really well thought out by him, is it? I would just try to be quiet about it, though.. not much else that you can do. You don’t want to turn into this obnoxious girl that he doesn’t want to marry, right?
Post # 4
You guys haven’t been together very long but if he says he’s going to propose then he should. If he was honestly ready to be engaged he would be dying to ask. When guys want to do something, they do it. I would be trying to figure out what he is worried/scared about and the actual reason he hasn’t proposed but him not wanting to ask is a pretty terrible excuse. I just would ignore it, not talk about marriage with him so he doesn’t feel pressured and maybe that will be what he needs. Good luck!
Post # 5
I would pretend the ring doesn’t exist. Try not to think about it. Don’t look at it. It soudns like it’s unhealthy for both of you. Focus on what your relationship is now. It’s still early. Don’t stress.
Post # 6
You say you feel like you’re not good enough because he’s been engaged before. Maybe he’s waiting because he made a mistake in the past by asking before he was truly ready, and he doesn’t want to make that mistake with you. You’ve only been together for a year. it kind of seems like you’re more ready for the engagement than a marriage. You’re so concerned with the ring and your friend “beating you to it” that you might be losing focus of what is important: your relationship.
Post # 7
You guys havven’t been together all that long really… it’s still early to be saying you’re ready to spend you’re whole life with someone you’ve only known a year. That being said, some people just know, right? However, since he’s been engaged before, I can completely understand him wanting to be more careful and completely sure. My friend was engaged and shit hit the fan… now she’s been single a year and is adamant about taking her time and being sure before she trusts someone that hard again.
My sister’s bf also made comments about timelines ie: engaged by christmas… engaged by october, engaged by summer…. and those have come and passed. But they’ve been together only 1.5 year… And they’re older, more mature.. he’s late 30s… he’s confided to my FI that he loves her and she’s the one, but for his own comfort, he wants to be together 2 years before proposal…
I think it’s true when they say the honey moon period lasts the first 3 years. After a year, I thought I knew my FI inside and out… then after 2 years I thought NOW I know my FI inside out… well, after 5 years now, I’m just now finally feeling like I really know this guy, the gaga honeymoon phase is passed and we still love each other to bits.
I bet if you and your FI stop talking about dead lines or timelines and just … chill… he’ll propose sooner. It’s probably the pressure that’s getting to him… Knowing he told you it would be by X, and then X comes and he’s gotten himself all worked up. Just let it come when it’s ready. The ring is there. That means he loves you and you’re the one he wants. Just give him time to feel comfortable when he asks. You don’t want him to ask bc he felt pressured rather than because he felt the time was right….
Good luck my dear!
Post # 8
I was reading previous comments just now and was thinking…. a PP poster said something about wondering what he’s scared about now… I wonder if it’s just normal fear bc marriage is such a HUGE committment, one that many take far too lightly. I think of it like sky diving…. you know you wanna do it, you’re totally pumped for it, you get in the plane and ready to go, but when it’s time to jump – that’s when the fear hits you. but you still jump. Right now it probably just feels so much more real bc he has the ring and he’s a little scared. He’s ready and wants it, just a little scared bc he’s been hurt before. Just give him time on his own to do it when he’s ready… he will 🙂