(Closed) im so embarrassed. wedding not the way i planned :(

posted 5 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

No need to apologize. When you spend months (at least) planning every little detail, disappointments are bound to arise. Everything you described above sounds like it was out of your control (food service, traffic, parking, etc). I’m sorry that some of your loved ones weren’t at your ceremony; honestly, I’d be bummed about that too. The most important thing, though, is the special day with you and your husband and the people who were there to celebrate with you. Even if there were some snafuus people seemed unhappy about (everyone gets grumpy in traffic), I’m sure they weren’t unhappy about spending the day with you!

I was at a wedding a while back where the waitstaff totally forgot to serve our entire table! It took about three course until they realized–we were all sitting there watching plates being cleared from the tables around us and we didn’t have even a bread basket! Although we were displeased at the time, it wasn’t anything we held against the bride and groom and it certainly didn’t ruin our night.

Please don’t let this ruin your newly-wedded bliss!

Post # 4
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@oneovakind:  Oh Sweetie relax!  I’m sure you are your wedding’s biggest critic.  People went there to see you marry the person you love and to celebrate.  By no means should you apologize.  I don’t think you are seeing the big picture, your guests do not come to be wined and dined with five star service.  I know I wouldn’t drive states away for a meal, but I would to see my friend or family member get married.  I think all these tv shows, magazines, venders and even weddingbee get brides so worried about competing to have the best wedding.  Really the point of the day was the commitment you made. 

Post # 5
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh, I feel reallly bad for you.  Please don’t beat yourself up, none of these things were in your control!  I would hope that your guests would understand that and not have any hard feelings.

It’s really hard to plan for such a special day, dream about it and then have things go differently than you expected based on your plans, ideas, contracts etc.  Stay positive and know that your guests came to support you and show their love, not for just a free meal. Yes….as good hostesses and hosts, brides and grooms often feel very responsibie for the enjoyment of their guests (and they should) but these things were beyond your control and you shouldn’t blame yourself.

I would, however, do 2 things:

1. focus on how wonderful it is to be married to the love of your life, and bask in the good things that did happen on your wedding day

2. firmly speak to the vendors involved in your disappointments and negotiate some money to be returned to you based on the failure on their part to uphold their contract (e.g. less food than you paid for, juices, etc)

Post # 6
9552 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

You should absolutely NOT apologize. Your loved ones were there to share a meaningful day in the life of you amd your hubby. I guarantee they cared more about how beautiful you looked walking down the aisle, and how happy you two seem together than any silly food. We’re our own worst critics so be easy on yourself and your wedding. You can’t control waiters and I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as it seemed to you. And CONGRATULATIONS on getting married!

Post # 7
986 posts
Busy bee

Great advice from cdncinnamongirl, just keep in mind that you are married now (!!!) and the wedding is just a celebration of that. You have a lifetime to enjoy your life with each other now, and that is what is most important.

Post # 8
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Things don’t work out sometimes, but I’m sure no one holds it against you! Those who are near and dear are just happy to share your big day. 

Post # 9
628 posts
Busy bee

I bet it wasn’t as bad as you imagine, since you said you are a control freak.  My first wedding, I hired the best venue for our area and then proceeded to worry that my food, or the service sucked, etc.  I did not enjoy my reception because of this.

I only heard good reviews from the guests after, which made me wish  I had trusted the people I paid to do what they did best, they did awesome without my worrying.  I’m willing to bet your wedding was fine!


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