I'm so frustrated :(

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@taraelisabeth:  Your FI needs to have a talk with his parents.  That’s absolutely ridiculous for them to be inviting people whose last names they don’t even know!!  Tell them you want to keep it to CLOSE friends and family.  DH and I made a rule right off the bat that if both of us hadn’t met a family member or friend, they weren’t invited.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Post # 4
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@taraelisabeth:  I dont have advice, but I can relate! Our situation isn’t as bad as yours but it runs along the same lines –

I have very few close family members I am still regularly in contact with so only they got invites, the rest of my 100+ uncles, aunties and cousins get nada, but FI has a huge family and everyone is close to another relative so drawing a line gets very very hairy!

We also got “send X, Y and Z’s invites to W’s adress” – really, was it SO hard to write down your address?! Perhaps they thought we would use it maliciously – ooooh, I might send you a christmas card this year! *shock horror*

And still again, we had the issue of “Jane and John who?” “Just put Jane and John.” “I don’t want to put Jane and John on my lovely handmade invites, what are their last names?!”

 

 

I wouldn’t care if I could have my entire family with me, but I have only one grandparent left, my siblings almost all hate eachother and Im not sure either of my sisters – kids included 🙁 – will even turn up if I DO decide to invite them…

UGH. WEDDINGS. UGH!

Post # 6
Member
7410 posts
Busy Beekeeper

@taraelisabeth:  your FI is right. Not all families are as close as others and others just have different dynamics. I think you need to chill out and stop being so judgemental.

Also it is the bride and grooms job to collect and collate guestlist data, not the grooms/bride’s parents job. So before calling other people lazy maybe you should lay the blame with you and your FI?

Post # 7
Member
1167 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@j_jaye:  Oh wow that was a little harsh don’t you think? She did say she was venting. Besides, I think it comes down to family when it comes to address chasing. We have always had parents be responsible for collecting addresses, seeing as usually they are closer to the extended family and especially in the case where the bride and groom aren’t even at the head of inviting these people.

I go with “You want Aunty Jane to come? You get her address, her number, her last name and you chase her up!”

Plus, I think he is being unfair if he’s allowed to invite everyone just because they got wind of the wedding, but the family she hasn’t seen in a while gets nada? That’s just not fair. When one party has to cut down for the other, the parents better start arking up some money to pay for their overwhelming guestlist!

 

@taraelisabeth:  Haha I wish they would all ride in one friggin car are eat one lot of food, but unfortunately not :/ We ended up giving up for some extended family we like for our engagement party invites – I later found out of the four we sent to one address one got stuck on their fridge (addressed to the owners obviously) and one got passed on. The others? NEVER OPENED. They forgot to pass on the invites! GRR. Needless to say they didn’t come!

Post # 8
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

That BLOWS!

They’re lucky you’re not passive agressive! I’d be like “Oh, I sent them out, but I got 20″return to sender” notices! So I guess they’re not getting STD/invites until we can find their ACTUAL addresses!”

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@taraelisabeth:  Oh, I wouldn’t even waste the postage sending them! That’s why I’m passive aggressive.

Post # 11
Member
181 posts
Blushing bee

@taraelisabeth:  

 

I used to work for a company that shipped things, and I used to think  the same thing about “county road” addresses. I would always call the customer, and was always told they are complete address. The customers explained that the cities they lived in were small, and thats what the roads were called. We never got any returned shippments.

 

 

 

Post # 13
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

He actually wants people he doesn’t know coming to the wedding? Wth? o_O;That seems insane, especially given your space constraints and budget.

I am sorry, OP 🙁 I didn’t have that happen, but FMIL scanned our wedding invitation into her computer and emailed it to people who didn’t get one (because we didn’t invite them). They forwarded that along to other people, also not invited. *sigh*

Weddings. Ugh!!

I’d have a serious heart to heart with him and go over the cost of everything and all of these additional people and show him that against your entire budget and venue space and be like “Where are we cutting, then?” Sometimes it takes a kick in the wallet to realize how difficult adding extra people is.

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