I'm so pissed off at my dad.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
795 posts
Busy bee

@allyfally: sounds like you really need to leave any eggs he gives you in the basket until they hatch. (Lol, did I just make that up?!?) He’s unreliable, and until anything he promises actually materializes, just ignore it, and definitely don’t count on it. 

Post # 4
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@allyfally:  It is upsetting when people close to us disappoint us. I do suggest though, that it’s time to stop setting yourself up for this disappointment. Your Dad is never going to be the fairy tale Dad you wish he could be.

We may have to love our parents, but we don’t have to like them, or their behavior.

Post # 5
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta

My brother has asbergers too, as does my biological father (probably). I haven’t spoken to my father in 8 years and he isn’t invited to my wedding. My step father will walk me down the aisle. My mom is helping out a bit finacially, there are a few things she felt strongly about (music, drinks) that I could take or leave so that’s what the money is going towards. 

Post # 7
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@allyfally:  you don’t sound like a spoiled brat! The issue isn’t that you’re demanding money from him. The issue is that he has made so many promises over the years and always breaks them. He hasn’t been the best father, and then he seems like he’ll do something to change things for the better…and then backs out at the last minute. You have every right to be upset! I’m upset for you! I have no advice, just wanted to lend my support 🙁

Post # 8
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

you do not have to keep toxic people like this in your life!! he’s only there minimally and he’s still upsetting you 🙁 I woud cut him out completely! maybe after he loses you he’ll realize what he’s lost and show you more appreciation- either way, you don’t deserve to be hurt like this

Post # 9
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@allyfally:  I’m sorry 🙁 People shouldn’t say they are going to contribute if they have no intention of actually doing so. You know how he is and it doesn’t sound like you really thought he’d give you any more, but it is still disappointing that he is being so selfish. Maybe he will come through with a nice wedding gift. 

Post # 11
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@allyfally:  Honestly, I’d probably say something. “Dad, you know I’d never expect money from you and I was careful to plan a wedding I could afford on my own. However, you offered to help and it would have been really appreciated. I am disappointed that you made a promise to me and then broke it. It’s not about the money – it is about trust in our relationship.” 

It isn’t fair what he did. In fact, it is totally selfish. Maybe he actually has a problem, like an addiction. He compulsively spends money even against his best intentions of helping his daughter. I wonder if he’d consider working with someone to overcome it. Obviously it is more than just gifts – he needs to be saving for his retirement! 

Post # 12
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@allyfally:  Your dad sounds like he has some serious personality issues. Frankly, he sounds like a super shitty person. I’m sorry you have to deal with that and the disappointment he has brought you for so long. Ugh!!!

Post # 15
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@allyfally:  I’m sorry that you are dealing with this.  And I think it’s big of you to make sure he is included in the wedding still.

I would also NEVER depend on him for any money and I don’t care how big of a stink he makes about it, I’d ignore it.  It would take me EVERYTHING I have in me to not roll my eyes and say ‘yeah right’.

PS…he’s being good to your baby brother is this maybe because his wife won’t have it any other way for her kid? And how much of her money (since she makes more) is paying for this this and that and the college fund….  Just wondering.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors