Post # 1
Hello. I got married this past August. I have always looked forward to this day, even as a little girl. But, when the day arose, my groom and I fought over the phone and text messages the entire day of our wedding….I’m not sure if it was due to stress or whatever but it was just all in all a bad day full of anything but happy tears… the ceremony was okay, when I arrived at the end of the isle, he apologized but it still doesn’t change the fact that our wedding day was supposed to mean everything to me… I have always wanted a beach wedding but his mother refused and then she had opinions about a lot of other things too, I felt more like it was her wedding and we were just the star guests if that makes sense. Then we arrived at our reception where it poured down rain and we couldn’t even decorate our car, then we couldn’t go on a honeymoon due to me having class and him having work, now we are happy with each other but regardless of that, I cannot accept how awful and sad our wedding day makes me, I cry and think about this a lot. I just need some advice… I feel like I am being a horrible and selfish person for saying these things, but I’m really sad and need some advice on what to do.. Thanks so much!
Post # 3
@Aubree: Go on your honeymoon and have a fab time. If you want to do a vow renewal on the beach just the two of you it might help.
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza
I am so sorry you have such horrible memories of your wedding day. I agree with @Treeline:! Have a beautiful VR with your husband on the beach! Put that dress back on, hire a photog to take some fabulous photos and have a redo. You deserve it.
Post # 5
Well my husband has recently joined the marines and so we are unable to go on a honeymoon. But I really want to renew our vows, but my way this time and just have a simple renewal on the beach… but as far as a honeymoon, I don’t know if we’ll ever get one of those lol. I just wish I could somehow be more satisfied with the way that the day went. The we weren’t happy with our pictures or videos… all in all im just terribly sad that things didnt go near how i wanted, planned and wished that they would have.
Post # 6
Oh, hun I’m sorry you’re feeling this way!
My wedding day was a bit sucky, too.
My MIL had her crazy friend help out and all she did was yell at me and my family and she was taking drinks out of my guests hands because you arent allowed to dance with drinks in your hand when you are Macedonian dancing or whatever.
My MIL took voer my whole day and tried to tell everyone they paid for the whole thing when it was half and half.
My SIL cussed my dad out and made him really upset so I cussed her out.
My husband got mad at me for not keeping a cool head.
I didn’t really get a wedding night. We opened our cards and went to WalMart before we went to the airport becaue my husband forgot to buy clothes.
I cried. A lot. The entire day. I cry whenever I am feeling any type of strong emotion. I was so happy, so mad, so excited, anxious…all of it so I bawled my eyes out while greeting the guests.
My MIL’s crazy friend called me fat right before I walked down the aisle.
We were 45 minutes late to my ceremony thanks to my MIL and FIL.
My SIL was a total cow and REFUSED to be in half of my pictures while we were getting ready and is STILL complaining that she isnt in hardly any of them?
So honestly, I don’t think ANYONES wedding goes 100%! It;s been almost 5 months and I am laughing at the absurdity of it all. I married my best friend and we all got so drunk and danced all night that it didnt even matter anymore. So keep your head up, girl! Eventually, this will allllllll be funny to you.
Post # 7
ALSO! My photographer was a complete douche and forgot to look at our contract and so we didnt get a videographer or a second shooter and missed a lot of shots I really wanted.
Post # 8
Yeah sounds like we had similar days lol. It just upsets me and I honestly wish that I could let it go, although I am trying, I’m really having problems with it. It just really makes me sad. I do hope that one day I can look at it like you!
Post # 9
@Aubree: I am sorry you feel this way. that sucks, it really does. I feel your pain! we never got a honeymoon either because DH got laid off right after our wedding. And our photographer (fmaily member) video camera messed up in the middle of our ceremony and missed a 1/3 of the ceremony because of it. And my grandmother passed away 2 days before our wedding, it made celebrating very awkward and some very immediate family were not there to share our day because of the death in our family. We spent the day after our wedding at my grandmothers funeral.
Honestly, I could go on and on; I have a lot of things I wish would have been better about our wedding but you know what? I married the love of my life that day, and really, at the end of the day, that is what matters. I think most people have “horror stories” or ways their wedding wasnt as amazing as they had always imagined since they were a kid. But, I just feel that it is reality. I am just so blessed and happy to have found the love of my life and was able to share that special day with most of the people that I care about.
Post # 10
@Aubree: It really helped me because I write EVERYTHING down in story format like I am telling someone this story about my insane wedding day. It helps to get it all out and read back over it. I have a very dry sense of humor and so when I’m upset, I’m really sarcastic and when I read back over everything it’s really funny and helps me put what is important into perspective and just chalk that day up to a wedding NO ONE in my family will ever forget.
I promise you, you will think it’s funny someday! And like other pp’s have said, have a vow renewal on your one year anniversary so you can do things your way and make some really beautiful memories of your one year!
Post # 11
While nothing huge went wrong at our wedding, the whole day just felt like work. I didn’t really get to enjoy it and I feel a little let down by it so I totally understand the disspointment you feel. My DH and I have talked about doing just a small vow renewal as well. I think it will just feel really good to have a moment that is soley about us recommitting to eachother with out the other stress. We did also take a Honeymoon which I think really helped. It was so nice to be just the two of just. We did not got anywhere grand. We drove to a near-by lake and rented a cabin for a few days. It was perfect. You don’t have to fly someplace for you to have a honeymoon, you just need the two of you away from your home for a few days. See if you can arrange a 3 day weekend and go to a nice local hotel and don’t tell anyone where you are going. Hang out just the two of you and the little spark of oh yeah, this is what the wedding was for will come back.
JemmyGee said it is funny someday, at this point after almost 6th months I can let the really bad feelings go, but it is not funny yet. It just takes time.
Good luck. I feel your pain.
Post # 12
@Aubree: You aren’t horrible or selfish but you do need to move on. Stuff doesn’t always go as planned so it’s best you learn this sooner than later. You ended up married to the love of your life so focus on that. Perhaps one day you can renew your vows, but to do that you have to focus on making this marriage work.
I also agree with PP that you should plan a beach honeymoon.
Post # 13
I think looking back, you will find a way to poke fun at it, hopefully. Someday, when you CAN do a honeymoon, definitly check into a simple vow renewal on a beach (or elaborate celebration, whatever works). I saw a lot of destination places will offer you a freebie for or low-cost, if you dont need the seating, cake, etc. I know you said you can’t go on a honeymoon, but even if you could do a short trip to the mountains, lake, whatever you have there and try and get some sort of make-up time with each other. Or look forward to your one year anniversary and do something then.
I think a lot of parents step in and kind of take over, from what I’ve read from other bees on here (Luckily, my fi let me step in before ours got into too many decisions). It has to be truly disappointing, to have dreamed about this and have it go so quarkily, but, you guys must have a true bond to be able to carry on through all of that and still manage the day 🙂
Post # 14
@Aubree: It’s hard to believe now, but I’m sure one day you will both look back and laugh at how your day went, and quite possibly not even want to change a thing. Things don’t always go as planned or dreamed, but that is life. I agree with @Treeline: and her suggestion of doing a vow renewal and doing it your way, I wouldn’t do it right now, but would wait for an anniversary. YHour first year as husband and wife would make a great excuse to have a vow renewal with just those closest to you or even just yourselves.
Post # 15
I’m sorry you feel like the day sucked :o( Try to focus on any positive aspects, including the fact that you married someone you love so much! Try to find the humor in the bad things. Save your money and have a honeymoon/vow renewal on the beach for your first anniversary!