I'm so upset. MOH not speaking to me..what would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I would just give her some time.  I’m sure things will die down.  

Post # 3
Member
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

 

MrsTtoB:  This one’s hard. Honestly, if she didn’t want the pics posted, it should’ve been her responsibility to let you know ahead of time, as well as inform you of the situation in general. This falls on her…she didn’t invite those people, yet it’s your fault that they’re pissed. How would she expect to keep that a secret from everyone else, when 30 other people were invited? It’s going to get to the un-invited one way or another, whether you posted pics on FB or not…

Maybe try writing her a letter letting her know everything you’re feeling. I do think you’re being the bigger person by trying to throw away a 27 year friendship. Good luck 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

How far out is your wedding?  If it’s a ways, hold back, don’t obsessibly call or text.  It sounds like there’s something more going on with her right now than just the pictures so I’d give her some space to cool down.  If she hasn’t contacted you after a few days and your wedding is right around the corner I’d try extending the olive branch again.  But it really sounds like she has a lot more going on and the pictures were just a convienent trigger.

Post # 5
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Ummm… Did I read right that she was 50?  Has she ever acted this way before?   There has to be something else there on her side.  I don’t know many people my age (mid 20s) who would act like that. 

I think at this point, you put the ball in her court.  Hopefully she will get back to you, but I don’t think you can do more than you have. 

Post # 7
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

Oh my word!! She is completely out of line. Im sorry if you are having “secret” parties, she should have announced to everyone that she didnt want pictures on fb. Without fair notice, how are you in the wrong. Super sad girl, but you have pleaded your case and if she is still being out of line. Unfortunately there is not much you can do.

Post # 8
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

MrsTtoB:  If you have sincerely apologized to her and expressed regret for inadvertently causing her any issues, if you have offered to talk and work things out, have tried repeatedly to contact her, there’s not much else you can do.  

While I can understand you not wanting to end such a long friendship to over something so silly, her accusing you of lying, calling you names and being enraged that you didn’t read her mind is all pretty awful behavior particularly coming from a 50 year old woman.  The fact that she hasn’t calmed down and realized this anod apologized herself doesn’t reflect well on her either.

I suspect your photos caught her out in a lie and instead of accepting she got caugh. – she’s placing all the blame and fallout on you.  Also childish.

If you still want to try to save the friendship, send her one more email and put the ball firmly in her court.  Apologize one last time, tell her that if she ever wants to talk it out, you would like that but that if you don’t hear from her by x date you will assume that means she no longer wants to be part of the wedding and while that will make you very sad, you will respect her decision and still send her an invitation to attend. 

If she doesn’t respond to that, then adopt your FI’s attitude. 

Post # 9
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Sounds very childish in my opinion. Like others on here have said, if she didn’t want the photos posted, she should of told you right off the bat, what you did was harmless and like Zhabeego said, she probably got caught up in a lie.

Just know you didn’t do anything wrong!

Post # 11
Member
858 posts
Busy bee

MrsTtoB:  happy she came through! Just remember stand ur ground! Good luck!!

Post # 12
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

MrsTtoB:  Tell her that in future it might be helpful for her to use the Facebook function that lets you approve pictures before they go on your timeline. That way even if the pictures were up, basically nobody would see them unless she allowed them to.

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