Weddingbee boards

Wow!  That's really neat/great that you guys started dating after being friends for so long! 

I hear ya Ren.  I've told my BF before that I'd honestly be totally okay with a ring that's not very expensive at all since he seems to think that a guy is "supposed" to spend at least a certain amount, but like you I'm now getting the point where I really almost don't even care about the ring at all because it's marriage to HIM that I want.  Not just the "bling-bling". 

I'm pretty much half expecting my BF to call and say that he is in fact NOT coming to see me tonight.  So if/when he calls and says that, what do you think the best way to respond to that would be?  I'm sure I'll feel tempted to get angry, although I'm sure that "b*tching" about the situation isn't going to help things.  On the other hand, I don't really want to be like "Oh, okay.  No problem" when I DO think it's a problem. 

Yes, I agree three days in a row is not okay.  The thing is, he made it sound like it wasn't so much JUST that he didn't feel like driving here but that he had so much stuff to do this weekend that even if I went to see him, he wasn't going to be available much to see me anyways.  Which the things he said he had to do sounded pretty legit, but it really hurts that he didn't find ANY time to see me this weekend.  He could have just had me take the bus to see him, and then when he was busy running around doing all his stuff, I could have been at his house working and making money.  Then, at the end of each day that I was there, we could have visited for at least an hour or two before going to bed. 

Thanks Ren.

I'm beyond hurt right now because he decided not to come see me tonight, and he's saying he "might" come see me either tomorrow or Tuesday because he says his truck hasn't been running right and he either wants to get it fixed or go buy a new one.  Again, I offered to take the bus up either tomorrow or Tuesday since I figured that would be a guaranteed way for us to see each other, but he's saying no.  I'll just come see you because it will be cheaper that way.  (I'm pretty tight on money right now, so he's the one that would be buying the ticket).  I'm pretty much bawling my eyes out right now. 

Thanks Ren. 

Sorry.

Thanks lynn.

Thanks for your advice Jamaica.  You may be right about that.  The thing is, don't alot of us on this board feel as though we'd be devastated if things don't end up working out with our boyfriends?  Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I know for me it would be really hard on me not only because of how much I love my BF but also because of how much time I've invested into this relationship.  (Almost 3 years now). 

I do think it's probably time for me to implement Mr. Bee's plan.  Probably should have started it awhile back actually.  I have been trying to think of some activities and stuff that I can sign up for that I might enjoy doing.  I think part of the problem of my boyfriend not being good about setting up specific times to see me (and then actually following through with them), is that he knows that outside of work and taking care of my daughter, I don't really have much of a life right now.  (Well, he doesn't actually SAY that he doesn't think I have much of a life outside of him and my daughter other than working, but I'm sure he realizes it).  I'd like to hang out with my friends more, but they're all married and have kids and lately they're apparently too busy too hang out because of their family responsibilities.  I do understand that, but I also miss seeing them.  I guess since I'm not involved in much of anything right now outside of work and taking care of my daughter, and even my work doesn't require any particular set schedule (can set my own hours), my BF figures he can kind of just show up whenever he feels like it to see me.  (I will say though that normally he is MUCH better about making plans with me than he has been in the past few days.  Like normally if he says he'll come see me on a certain day and time, more often than not he'll actually follow through with it).

However, if I added some more activities to my life, not only would it be good for me and hopefully make me feel happier doing some things that I enjoy.  Also though, it would make him realize that if he wants to see me, then he'll HAVE to make plans with me ahead of time and then actually follow through with them, or else who knows when I'll be available to see him again because I'LL be so busy!!  Right?

Thanks for your input Jamaica.  Are you and your FI in a long distance relatinship right now?  I'm guessing so since you said you refuse to relocate until you're married.  Just curious.  It sounds like we definitely have some stuff in common as far as being single moms trying to juggle being a parent with work and our relationship with our S.O.'s.  It's really great though that it sounds like you do lots of fun things on your own.  I can see how if I was involved in more stuff and kept myself busier it might makes the days in between seeing my BF a little easier to bear.  Like the saying goes, time flies when you're having fun. 

JamaicaBride,

Thanks for the info in your last post.  That's great that you and your FI have been able to make things work even though you're in a LDR.  

UPDATE:

Hi everyone.  Thanks so much for the support that you've all given me.  This past week without seeing my BF was so hard on me, and the support you guys gave me really meant alot to me.

So...I think the last think I posted was that on Sunday night, he elected yet AGAIN to not come visit me, but he said he'd come see me either Monday or Tuesday.  He did end up coming to see me yesterday, and not only did we get to just hang out and relax and spend some time together, but we also got to have some great sex (which I was REALLY starting to miss after not seeing him for a little over a week)!  Yay! 

However, our night together wasn't exactly "perfect".  He came to see me right after work and then spent the night at my house, so it was really nice that we got to spend several hours together.  For most of our visit, things were wonderful, and we were both being really sweet and loving and just having fun together.  However, as it got later in the night, I don't know if it's because we were both just getting tired or what, but we did end up arguing for awhile.  So, although night started out great, it ended with me in tears.  I REALLY wish we hadn't ended up arguing, because our visit was going so well before that.

Also, although I didn't cry when he left for work this morning, I did feel kind of stressed and sad not knowing when I'm going to see him again.  Hopefully, I'll see him again really soon because I don't know how many more weeks in a row I can take of only seeing him like once a week.

In an effort to try and get more of a "life" outside of work, my BF and raising my wonderful daughter, I'm trying to come up with ideas for things that I might enjoy doing in my free time.  I used to absolutely love to sing, and I used to be involved in all kinds of different singing groups and musical productions back in high school and college.  However, I haven't been involved in anything like that in several years now.  Singing (and acting) used to be like my passion in life before I became a mom.  So, I decided just for the fun of it to join a local choir in my area.  It sounds like it will be pretty cool because in addition to the more "classic" choir type songs, I guess they also sing more contemporary songs too.  So, my first rehearsal with them is tomorrow night, and I'm really looking forward to it. 

Just wanted to say thanks again for the great advice and support that you guys gave me about last weekend.