Post # 1
from now on, i’m not asking anybody’s opinion on wedding things. aside from the boy, of course. he can have input. everyone else can go shove it.
just because you don’t like something i do, it doesn’t mean you have to be an ass about it. sorry, you already had your damn wedding. this is ours. not yours.
just because you don’t agree with something we’re planning to do, for whatever damn reason, doesn’t mean you need to voice an opinion. especially if i didn’t ask for it.
just because you did something one way and think everyone should do it that way, doesn’t mean i will. again, MY wedding. not yours.
yes, i’m having bridesmaids and bouquets and catering. yes, we’ll say vows. i’m not you. i’m not unconventional. i’m not unique. i want to say vows and have a bridal party and carry flowers and eat yummy food. just because you ran away to the top of a mountain and married yourselves or whatever the f*ck you did, and then refused to eat anything but something you cooked, doesn’t mean i have to do the same.
yes, i’m DIYing most of everything. no, that doesn’t mean i’m cheap. it means that i’m anal retentive and a control freak and want to ensure that i get what i want. because yes, i’m spoiled. i get my way. and if i have to DIY everything in order to ensure that things are my way? i’m gonna do it. and no, a DIY wedding is not cheap or tacky or any less of a wedding than something that was planned entirely by a wedding planner.
argh. i hate people sometimes. actually, i hate people most of the time. everyone is getting on my nerves lately. especially when it comes to the wedding.
Post # 3
agree with so much of what you said! hope you get the wedding of your dreams, screw everyone else’s opinions!
Post # 4
Welcome to the wonderful world of wedding planning! Everyone feels the need to tell you their opinion. You sound like you know what you’re doing by ignoring everyone except for your FI. Don’t let them bring you down!
Post # 5
When my mom became too overbearing and opinionated, my husband and I eloped.
That experience taught my mother to keep out of my business.
I’m not suggesting that you elope, but I think you will have to communicate your feelings to whomever is trying to control your wedding.
Post # 6
OMG..Thankyou!! I wish I could say that to my dad!!! It’s as if he’s trying to be the frikken bride!!!!!
Post # 7
@colorofmyheart: “yes, i’m DIYing most of everything. no, that doesn’t mean i’m cheap. it means that i’m anal retentive and a control freak and want to ensure that i get what i want. because yes, i’m spoiled. i get my way. and if i have to DIY everything in order to ensure that things are my way? i’m gonna do it.”
^^^That right there. Just had that conversation with my Mother. *eye roll* I’ve barely begun, and already want to tell about 40 people for F off and die. *sigh*
Preach on, sistah! <3
Post # 8
No matter what you do, or don’t do, everyone and his uncle will have an opinion. I went through that a while ago, and just stopped talking about things lol suddenly it was, “Hey, are you still planning your wedding? You don’t talk about it.” Well, no kidding.
I’m actually going through this a bit right now. Mostly I’m good at just listening to my own heart (and FH’s heart) and doing what we want, but the former people-pleaser me still creeps in from time to time. In this case, it’s with the Bride’s Entrance music, and I’m still torn between doing what people think I “should’ do and what deep down, I really want to do. It’s exasperating.
Actually OP, I was laughing because I’ve had a few people crack on me for *not* DIY-ing everything, like my wedding will be boring and uncreative because it’s not handmade. Setting aside the fact that I couldn’t DIY if I tried (all thumbs), I was shocked that people even think that way.
Post # 9
i’m glad i’m not the only one who feels this way. it’s so frustrating. and EVERYONE who has told me these things? is already married or has been married. it’s like, “you got your wedding. this is mine. back off.” absurd.
we would elope. but there would be major fallout with family if we did that, and i don’t want to deal with the aftermath. i already get enough guilt trips about not living close to home, and have for the entire 3 years i’ve been living away from home. i can only imagine what would happen if we got married and nobody was there to experience it. apparently weddings aren’t just about the bride and groom in my family. they’re about EVERYONE else. my aunt said, and i quote “if you don’t have a wedding, you can’t have a shower. and you have to have a shower, because i have to use my crystal punch bowl.” … really? that’s your reasoning? you want me to have a big wedding so you can use a f*cking punch bowl? she also threw in comments about presents. and ugh. so annoying.
i have my wedding blog. i think i’m just gonna use that to get out ideas, and not ask anyone in my life for their opinions, aside from my fiance, until i have EVERYTHING figured out.
i think everyone should make a pact- “i hereby promise to ignore everyone else, because this is my wedding and i want it my way”. deal?
Post # 10
Yeahhhhh, this is why we don’t talk about the wedding.
Before we were even engaged, my grandma suggested that we get married at her church and have the reception down in the basement. Oh my god, no. Not only are we not Christian, we are having a secular ceremony (no Bible verses to make someone else happy, thanks) that, for the love of puppies, will NOT be dry.
Then, FFIL tried to talk FI into getting me to agree to a church wedding to make his grandparents happy. Um, no. This wedding? Is not about making other people happy.
FMIL kept pushing and pushing for us to use the pastor her other son used for his wedding. FFIL brought up the church thing one time and then let it go (and he goes to church every Sunday and prays before meals). FMIL goes to church once a year and would not let it go. I finally told her that we had someone booked already (we didn’t, but we had someone in mind), though she did say a couple of times after that that we could probably get the deposit back.
I can’t wait to hear reactions to our secular handfasting ceremony.
Post # 11
@colorofmyheart: Holy Wow. First, wanting things a certain way on your wedding day is NOT spoiled. It’s you knowing what you want for that day and knowing how to create it.
I think DIY weddings are the best because there’s a personal element attached to it–you can look out over your reception/ceremony/whatever and say “I’m in every corner of this room”. Does that make the weddings planned by a planner less than? Nope.
I completely agree that your wedding should be done your way. It is, in fact, yours. I hate it when people say “Oh, so-and-so did THIS at their wedding. You should, too!” Nope. My wedding.
So. Here’s my advice (tongue in cheek there…), do what makes you happy. Do what you want to do. Be your traditional self. Eat that yummy food on that wonderful day after you say your marvelous vows. And have a BLAST at your wedding.
Post # 12
@colorofmyheart: PREACH ON!! I’m so right there with you with everything you’ve said, one of my FI’s family members even had the audacity to tell me to sell my ring and buy a house instead! Just keep breathing darling this too shall pass! xoxo (hugs)
Post # 13
@colorofmyheart: I’m in on the pact! 🙂
Post # 14
@colorofmyheart: HAHA, sorry, didn’t see your pact.
Deal. My wedding. My way. Screw everybody else.