(Closed) i'm sorry… i thought this was our wedding (vent)

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

agree with so much of what you said! hope you get the wedding of your dreams, screw everyone else’s opinions!

Post # 4
Hostess
7568 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Welcome to the wonderful world of wedding planning! Everyone feels the need to tell you their opinion. You sound like you know what you’re doing by ignoring everyone except for your FI. Don’t let them bring you down! 

Post # 5
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

When my mom became too overbearing and opinionated, my husband and I eloped.

That experience taught my mother to keep out of my business.

I’m not suggesting that you elope, but I think you will have to communicate your feelings to whomever is trying to control your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

OMG..Thankyou!! I wish I could say that to my dad!!! It’s as if he’s trying to be the frikken bride!!!!!

Post # 7
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@colorofmyheart:  “yes, i’m DIYing most of everything. no, that doesn’t mean i’m cheap. it means that i’m anal retentive and a control freak and want to ensure that i get what i want. because yes, i’m spoiled. i get my way. and if i have to DIY everything in order to ensure that things are my way? i’m gonna do it.”

^^^That right there.  Just had that conversation with my Mother.  *eye roll*  I’ve barely begun, and already want to tell about 40 people for F off and die.  *sigh*

 Preach on, sistah!  <3

Post # 8
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No matter what you do, or don’t do, everyone and his uncle will have an opinion. I went through that a while ago, and just stopped talking about things lol suddenly it was, “Hey, are you still planning your wedding? You don’t talk about it.” Well, no kidding.

I’m actually going through this a bit right now. Mostly I’m good at just listening to my own heart (and FH’s heart) and doing what we want, but the former people-pleaser me still creeps in from time to time. In this case, it’s with the Bride’s Entrance music, and I’m still torn between doing what people think I “should’ do and what deep down, I really want to do. It’s exasperating.

Actually OP, I was laughing because I’ve had a few people crack on me for *not* DIY-ing everything, like my wedding will be boring and uncreative because it’s not handmade. Setting aside the fact that I couldn’t DIY if I tried (all thumbs), I was shocked that people even think that way.

Post # 10
Member
11242 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yeahhhhh, this is why we don’t talk about the wedding.

Before we were even engaged, my grandma suggested that we get married at her church and have the reception down in the basement. Oh my god, no. Not only are we not Christian, we are having a secular ceremony (no Bible verses to make someone else happy, thanks) that, for the love of puppies, will NOT be dry.

Then, FFIL tried to talk FI into getting me to agree to a church wedding to make his grandparents happy. Um, no. This wedding? Is not about making other people happy.

FMIL kept pushing and pushing for us to use the pastor her other son used for his wedding. FFIL brought up the church thing one time and then let it go (and he goes to church every Sunday and prays before meals). FMIL goes to church once a year and would not let it go. I finally told her that we had someone booked already (we didn’t, but we had someone in mind), though she did say a couple of times after that that we could probably get the deposit back. 

I can’t wait to hear reactions to our secular handfasting ceremony.

Post # 11
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@colorofmyheart:  Holy Wow. First, wanting things a certain way on your wedding day is NOT spoiled. It’s you knowing what you want for that day and knowing how to create it.

I think DIY weddings are the best because there’s a personal element attached to it–you can look out over your reception/ceremony/whatever and say “I’m in every corner of this room”. Does that make the weddings planned by a planner less than? Nope.

I completely agree that your wedding should be done your way. It is, in fact, yours. I hate it when people say “Oh, so-and-so did THIS at their wedding. You should, too!” Nope. My wedding.

So. Here’s my advice (tongue in cheek there…), do what makes you happy. Do what you want to do. Be your traditional self. Eat that yummy food on that wonderful day after you say your marvelous vows. And have a BLAST at your wedding. 

Post # 12
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@colorofmyheart:  PREACH ON!! I’m so right there with you with everything you’ve said, one of my FI’s family members even had the audacity to tell me to sell my ring and buy a house instead! Just keep breathing darling this too shall pass! xoxo (hugs)

Post # 14
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@colorofmyheart:  HAHA, sorry, didn’t see your pact.

Deal. My wedding. My way. Screw everybody else. 

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