- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
who everyone is talking about & posting about lately. This will be long.
Hey everyone. Ha, never thought I would be the one to create a separate account, but I have a stroy/confession/question…not really sure how this is going to go…
My older sister (she’s 3 years older than me) is getting married THIS month! I’m very excited. I honestly couldn’t be happier for her and my FBIL. They have a wonderful life ahead of them. 🙂
They’ve been together for over 4 years -engaged since winter 2009. My FI & I have been together right at 4 years -engaged spring 2010. My FI & I got engaged 5 months after my sister and her FI.
My FI & I both knew our relationship was building towards a marriage. He has a good degree with a great job, & he bought a house (summer 2009) that we will both live in after we get married. The only hold up with us getting engaged/married was my school schedule. Also, I really love my sister & I knew in the back of my mind it would be hurtful to her if my FI & I were to get engaged/married before she did.
I know…just because she’s older doesn’t mean that she should be getting married first. Everyone’s timeline is different…All those lines.
Well, to me, I felt that it would be hurtful to her. She even made a comment in the past “you’re NOT getting married before me.” You know, that joking but not really joking way? I didn’t want to be THAT girl.
Well fast forward to now…I feel like I am anyway. 🙁
As previously stated- my sister is getting married this month. My FI and I have set our date to one weekend next spring. It will be around 8 months after my sister’s wedding. Due to my demanding school schedule that weekend is the ONLY weekend in 2011 that will work out. And have a week off after for our honeymoon. I’m not joking, school is that crazy.
Lately at church and social events (tons of wedding/baby showers lately!!) after everyone asks her all the questions about her wedding -if she’s excited, stressed, wants it to be over with, is everything ready…the questions everyone gets- they then ask me when my date is. When I tell them, there seems to be so much shock!
I usually get something along the lines of “Oh wow! It must be crazy around your house!” or “Your poor parents! How are they handling two weddings so close together?!” or “Why don’t you move it back another spring?” ….My sister just stands there with an annoyed look on her face. She gives a halfhearted chuckle and says nothing.
It’s starting to make me feel like I am “taking her spotlight away” even though I’m not trying to! My FI & I didn’t want to wait another entire year! Now I’m wondering if that would’ve been better? She seems to keep getting more and more annoyed at me & FI. I also sense built up anger.
I’ve tried talking to her…she’s just so stressed lately that she doesn’t want to discuss it. She doesn’t like confrontation very much either, so she assures me that it’s fine. In a very “brush it off” kinda way. “Oh yeah, no it’s fine. I don’t get a whole year, just a day” Then quickly changes the subject. I don’t know whether I believe her or not. I just left it alone. Maybe it’s in my head? Maybe she’s trying not to hurt my feelings too? ugh, confusion.
I do want you all to know that I haven’t been planning any part of my wedding with my mom or sister yet. My FI & I are just bouncing IDEAS off of each other. I haven’t been dress shopping yet. We did choose a photographer & paid the deposit already so she wouldn’t be booked on our date after sister’s wedding. And we do know the venue. I haven’t talked invites/programs/other weddingish things related to my wedding. I’ve been super involved with my sister’s planning and wedding. I am waiting until hers is over to start planning and shopping for my own. I promise, I really don’t want to cause conflict.
So, I don’t really know what the point of this was. Maybe to get it off my chest? Maybe to tell you what it feels like to be considered the “spotlight stealer”? Maybe to get encouragement?
All I know is I love my sister, and I can’t wait to be standing up with her this month on her wedding day! I just hope my wedding planning after her wedding doesn’t cause her to resent me. I hope she can be happy for me.
If you made it through this without your eyes bleeding, bless you!