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So we booked our flight home for Thanksgiving yesterday and it'll be my first flying experience. Needless to say, I'm terrified at the thought of getting on that plane. Plus, we had very limited options and the only row where we could sit together was the last row which my husband wanted anyway for nobody to be behind us. I would prefer not to sit in the complete back because I realize we're closer to the engines and the bathrooms but whatever, it's a two hour flight.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how not to completely freak out? Thankfully my husband will be right beside me and I know I'll think the view is pretty for a minute but then I need to zen out. Will watching a movie on a tablet or a phone help? Also, for the calming medication do I need to go to an actual doctor or will a minute clinic at a pharmacy prescribe the medication for me? Thanks in advance, I know it's still over a month away but I'm anxious about this (although I'm excited too because I need to get used to flying since I want to travel all over).
Take someting to calm your nerves- Go to your actual doctor and get something. Unless you just want to be knocked out, you can take dramamine, and that you could get at any drug store.
The scariest part for my DH is taking off/landing and you can't have any electronic devices running. I read to distract myself.
You need to go to a doctor for anti-anxiety medication. Another option is a shot of something strong at the airport bar ;-)
@mandb122: Aww...I hate flying too and I have to fly allll the time so I totally feel your pain!! Just keep reminding yourself that planes are actually very safe, much much safer than cars (I always take comfort in statistics haha). A doctor will probably prescribe you something but if they don't, just have a drink or two before you get on the plane and try to sleep through the flight. I find take off and landing are the worst, but if you're watching a movie or something during the flight itself I can sometimes forget I'm in a plane at all. Don't worry, it's only 2 hours and then you'll be on vacation!
I don't agree that the scariest part is takeoff and landing. I understand those are the actual riskiest moments of a flight, but for me the scariest is turbulence. For some reason that freaks me out more than anything.
I wouldn't recommend taking something for a 2 hour flight unless you are prone to panic attacks. Nowadays the flight crew is so mean they will threaten to arrest you if you appear at all out of line - even if you are just stressed. So if you really feel like you're going to freak out I would consider taking a pill. What helps me is I have a book or movie to watch and when that fails I concentrate on the fact that it will all be over in X minutes. Same thing I do for shots or uncomfortable doctor visits.
Keep in mind, if you are relying on something electronic to occupy your mind, you cannot use it during takeoff and landing so I would recommend a good old fashioned paper book.
The first plane I ever got on was skydiving...it was tiny and cramped, and oh did I forget to mention that I'm TERRIFIED of heights and get vertigo??!!! Yeah, I got the nickname "hard core" that day! Our honeymoon was my first commercial flight, and take off and landing are the worst part. Just talk to your hubby and have him distract you while you are taking off, once you are in the air, you can't even tell you are on a plane unless you hit turbulence, and even then its like you are driving on a bad city street!!
You can use those dramamine circles, they go on your head behind your ear, and they should help with any sickness. I see people use them on cruises all the time
Well, for starters, the engines are typically on the wings, so by sitting in the back you will be niiice and far away from them!
I've flown 100+ times and I've never even had a particularly bumpy landing, so just remember that people have successful flights thousands of times a day all over the world! And of course your captain and flight crew do it all the time and they have safety as their top priority - they don't want to crash any less than you do!
As others have said, you can't have electronic devices powered on when you're actually taking off and landing (the only scary parts, really, and they only last a few minutes each) so bring a book or some other non-powered thing to keep yourself busy during those times. I find planes are a great place to read anyway!
Oh and I just rememberd, the best thing to read is either a book you're SUPER into or a fun magazine. I used to bring bridal magazines when I was engaged.
@moderndaisy: or something that requires you to focus, like a Sudoku puzzle
I hate flying too and I have to do it several times a year...to be honest it never gets easier for me but I know logically, there is nothing to be afraid of (you should look up the number of people who fly a day in the world-it's astounding!). I would suggest talking to your doctor about it to get something to calm your nerves and watching a movie during the flight helps enormously. Bring lots of stuff to stay busy and snack on and the time will fly by.
It's hard for me to tell how necessary the medication would be since I've never flown. Needles give me a panic attack usually and severe thunderstorms almost get me there so if it's like that, I'll probably need something. And I was going to bring my Kindle but I'll probably bring an actual book for the trip so I can read it the whole time. I knew about electronics during takeoff/landing but for some reason i didn't think of my Kindle as being an electronic device.
I might also get some magazines, we'll see. And I know so many people fly every day but in my twisted head I think that my plane will be the one where something goes wrong.
I will also add that I feel stupid because I watched my brother fly to see us multiple times a year growing up (he lived with his dad) and nothing ever happened. In fact, when I was little I loved watching the planes take off and land and always wanted to go on one (they actually let me come on with him once and see the plane when he was boarding because I wanted to so bad). I guess as I got older that went away.
I also disagree that take off and landing are the worst parts. For me, its actually being up in the air and feeling turbulence. Scares the bejeezus out of me. I take anti anxiety meds every time I fly, it's the only thing that helps me to relax! I also try to go to sleep, read or listen to music during the flight.
ETA: I agree with Sudoku! I do them every time I'm on the plane.
@mandb122: It completely depends on the flight attendants whether they consider a kindle electronic device or not.
1/2 the flights I'm on, they don't care and let me read it, the other 1/2 the time they make me turn it off. So it's always good to have a back up.
Just be prepared with things to do, and go see a doctor before flying if you really think you are going to panic. Then maybe you can get a sedative and take 1/2 a pill to calm your nerves. Although that may mean you are completely zonked when you arrive as well.
I fly every other week, plus at least one weekend a month (aka TOO much), and I would say it really depends on how serious your anxiety level is...if you are just nervous because you have never done it, I would suggest just getting a few beers before getting on the plane, get on and put on earplugs and a sleep mask. It is much more calm than a severe thunderstorm. Also, I would suggest not spending the next month obsessing over it, I know easier said than done, but it will be a breeze, I promise!
Tell the flights attendants when you get on the plane. I had a bad case of vertigo the last time I flew and I let them know. I sat in the back and could walk around and they knew why.
@mandb122: I learned something this week that will make you feel better! The back of the plane is the best place to sit. Usually, if there's a crash, the person in the far back survives because the tail is built so well.
My mom takes a valium and drinks bloody marys before she flies! :) I think once you do it the first time, you'll love it. Take a book or movie or something to distract you while you're in the air. If you can, sit by the window, it makes you feel less "trapped."
@MrsCoachBtoBee: That actually does make me feel better because for some reason I was thinking of crazy reasons why we'd be the first to die! (I do realize how insane it sounds that I thought about that!) My mom also said I'll love it after the first time.
And my husband wanted the window seat but I don't feel trapped with him there. I can see out but I don't feel too close to the outside. Also, I'll have a stranger on my other side and I can generally keep calm when a stranger is nearby since I don't want to look insane.
@mandb122: I promise you won't look insane! I lot of people get anxiety from flying. Take off and landing will be sort of like a rollercoaster so be prepared for that, but it's normal. Hopefully you will have a good pilot.
I'm completely different. I love to fly. When the plane takes off, it feels like a roller coaster climbing. I love to see everything get teenie tiny and then I'll look straight out and I'm flying in a cloud. Amazing. Then upon decent it's cool to see the ground get closer and closer.
The worst part I guess is having your ears constantly having to pop from the change in cabin pressure. so be sure to take gum.
Since its your first time flying, try not to be freaked out and just take each experience in your present moment. Who knows, you might actually think its fun ;)
I hate flying BUT it's very safe. I get a lot of anxiety while I fly b/c I'm a naturally nervous person. The only two parts I find uncomfortable is take off, particularly when we reach altitude b/c for some reason I get very dizzy but it's only for a moment and then any turbulence that causes the plane to drop a little. I hate roller coasters so much but I don't really feel like take off or landing is like a roller coaster. Landing is by far my favorite part because watching the earth get closer and closer until you bump onto the ground is the best part of the flight b/c you're back on land! I never thought about getting medication for flying but now that I know that's an option, I might speak to my doctor about it.
@beekiss: Landing is my favorite part too because it means I'm not flying anymore!!!! I LOVE the moment of touchdown and when everyone is forced to kind of lean forward. I always smile very big at that point and feel a million times more relaxed!
Here is my recipe for staying calm:
1. Ask the doctor for a prescription for Valium (or another anti anxiety med) and take it before boarding, or when you get nervous. I usually start to get scared before going through the TSA, since you cant turn back after that, and I take it then.
2. I wear earplugs the entire time. That way when the planes engines make their natural engine sounds, I don't flip out.
3. Take a book or magazine, and when you get nervous, look down at the book and read and dont look out the window.
4. I wore a sweatshirt with a hood and when I got scared, I pulled the hood over my head and closed my eyes so I couldnt see and I felt sort of safe that way. I don't care if I looked crazy.
Not all of this might work for you but it helped me and FI told me he was proud of how I did, since the last time we were on a flight I had a complete panic.
I am also terrified of flying...you should have seen me before my trip to Europe! I genuinely wanted to cancel it so I wouldn't have to fly. I've gotten better at dealing with it tho, so here's what works for me, in no particular order:
Anxiety meds- talk to doc obv, but I usually start them up a couple days before
Booze- again talk to doc if you're going to mix (no issue for me, but everyone's diff)
Second soyjoy's earplugs, noises TERRIFY me on the plane even if they are normal engine sounds.
A good book that you know will keep your attention
It helps me to keep reminding myself that theres not really that much of a chance of a crash, I have a friend who travels by plane every single week for work and she's never had anything happen but delays.
Also idk what your religious thoughts are but it really helps me to pray...I got through a 6 hour flight to Cabo in August without any of the aforementioned, and without much nerves, b/c I jus tprayed to take away the fear or help me to accept whatevers supposed to happen...I dunno if that appeals to you or not, but it really helped me to be a lot calmer and made the whole vacation process better
The take off has some really awesome views, if you can try to enjoy them, they are really worth looking at. Once you are up in the air, everything is on auto-pilot for the most part, so there is nothing to worry about at all. The plane is just going to keep flying exactly how it is (except for a little turbulence potentially). But if there isn't any turbulence, the ride is actually way smoother than how it feels to ride in a car.
If there is anyway to try to relax, there is lots to ENJOY about flying in a plane. It is sort of like a ride, and you get to see miles and miles of scenery you can't see in any other way. It's also great because there's no interruptions so you can really sink into a book or a magazine article and not be interrupted by a cell phone or anything else we are commonly interrupted by.
Just another thing to hopefully make you feel better about flying: It is REALLY really really bad for the airline's business for a plane to go down. So they are going to do every single thing possible to make sure that plane lands safely at its destination. Everything. They don't want anything to happen bad just as much as you don't.
Hope that helps a little! Everything is going to be fine. I promise!
Also, bring gum with you to help with your ears during the pressure change. Or having a bottled beverage can also help (of course you would have to buy that after going through security).
Because you are in the very back of the plane you should be one of the first people on the plane so you won't have to worry about finding room in the overhead bins for your carryon. That's always what stresses me out since my carryon is the absolutely biggest that's allowed so it's hard to get up there.
If you find distractions like books, music, and conversation helpful, then that's great. There are also physical exercises that you can do to lower your anxiety levels. You can find lots of info on this stuff from Googling relaxation techniques and mindfulness techniques, but my two favorite are a breathing exercise where you really focus on breathing in slowly for four counts, until your diaphragm is totally inflated, and then exhaling completely for four counts, being very aware of the way your body is moving. Then, once you've done a few reps of that, progressive tensing and relaxing exercises are good too. Curl your toes tight as you're breathing in...exhale the four counts and relax them. Tense your calf muscles tight as you're breathing in...exhale the four counts and relax them. Et cetera...all the way up to your face muscles! This will help to dissipate some of the physical feelings of anxiety. Good luck!
I flew for the first time in my life this year to the USVI. It was a long day of flying for a first time flyer and I was so nervous the day before I couldn't sleep. I went prepared with gum and magazines, an ipod for when we were flying and snacks haha. I talked to everyone I knew who had been in a plane and they all said I would be fine. The day of the flight I convinced my boyfriend to let me have the window seats so I could check it out. In a weird way that actually helped me. I closed my eyes when I got scared and tookwould breathe deep. It turns out I loved flying and taking off was my favorite part. I think you'll be fine, you might end up enjoying it as well!
I don't know if this will help, but I always think it's a cool story / thought experiment / math experiment. It's based on a MIT study of the safety of commercial flights done in 1994.
Imagine that you flew on a plane every day of your life. Every day, you flew somewhere. Unlikely, but necessary in this hypothetical experiment.
So, taking 365 flights a year, how long do you think it would take you, on average, to be in a plane crash?
The answer: 19,000 years! Isn't that crazy?
You'll be fine.
On a lighter note: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLAu1WaRndQ&feature=related
@vmblai1019: haha!
I am flying for my first time in a week for our honeymoon. I am also SCARED TO SHIT! I keep thinking about this scene tho. It cracks me up!
@Beluga: That's pretty awesome.
I always get so sad hearing how many people hate flying. I'd rather fly everywhere and never have to drive- I LOVE LOVE LOVE flying! Takeoff is my favorite part, and I lvoe turbulence. Call me crazy. I know some of you will, lol.
My advice- motion sickness medicine, ask your doctor or close friends who have flown for recommendations. Chew gum on the takeoff and landing so your ears don't feel all pressurized. Bring something that takes your brain- a book that makes you think, crossword, word search, sudoku, something. I find movies aren't very distracting on the plane but you could try it, see if that's good for you.
margaritas! we had several!
i flew with a girl who is terrified of flying in may and i just kept telling her to picture herself on a bus, and every bump is just a bump in the road, nothing to panic over. i think it helped her to visualize. she did very well and we had a really crappy flight. and i think it definitely helps when you have someone with you. her doctor also prescribes her valium for flying.
I was pretty terrified my first time too. I actually like taking off now, it's fun seeing the view and the feeling of it. Landing isn't bad either. But, like a PP said, turbulence has me white-knuckling the armrest. If you like roller-coasters at all, it'll probably be fine, but I just HATE that feeling.
Try to sleep or read a book. That's usually what I do. Unless the plane is in rough air, in which I contemplate what I believe to be the last 30 seconds of my life. But alas, I am still here :)
@vmblai1019: Oddly enough that clip did make me feel better about it. I haven't seen the movie yet but I need to.
A lot of these comments have actually helped me. I don't like roller coasters but I can deal with them and I don't get motion sickness so I probably will be okay. I really do hope I end up liking it though.
@tranquility: Definitely tell me how you did! And have fun on your honeymoon!
I fly quite a bit, don't mind it, but don't love it (though I'm obsessed with keeping "preferred" status so I volunteer for trips for coworkers often).
My advice is a magazine/book and some nyquil or "simply sleep." I personally can fall asleep in any moving vehicle (not if I'm driving!) so I just try to nap. I usually fall asleep before the plane even takes off.
I do always want the window seat (travelling with FH I get stuck in the middle) and ALWAYS want to watch the plane landing.
Good luck, you'll be fine!
I only flew 4 times in my life at the age of sixteen all by myself. Boy was I nervous. But you know what, I calmed down. It wasnt bad at all. I discovered that the takeoff was my favorite part!!!
Plus the amazing views!! Earth is so beautiful from the sky.
I hope you come to love flying. And you can think of it this way too. There are millions of people who fly everyday without any problems. You will be fine.
Once you allow yourself to calm down you will fall in love with flying. Its been 14 years and I still remember the fun time I had on those planes.
Oh, and a side note to my love of flying, I HATE roller coasters. I guess I don't think they're anything alike but that's just my opinion :)
@PitBulLover: i hate turbulence. my hubby always says to me "babe, calm down. i plane never crashed from turbulence." whether or not it is true, it always calms me down.
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