(Closed) I’m the Bride…

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2790 posts
Sugar bee

@MrsRyans2B:  Are you having a formal reception and an informal reception or why are you having two?

Post # 4
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think we need more information if you’d like advice.  Why two receptions?  Why are some people only invited to one?  What are the bridesmaids doing (or not doing) that make you say they’re lazy?

Post # 6
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I’m still trying to figure out “Two receptions”?

Post # 7
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

perhaps one recepetion is another day?

Post # 10
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MrsRyans2B:  So who is invited to the formal reception vs. the informal one?  And what’s the time frame for the two?

As far as a bridesmaid quitting and others around you being lazy… Could you have possibly become slightly wedding obsessed and are having a little trouble with the idea that not everybody cares about your wedding as much as you do?  (Because in all honesty, NOBODY cares about our weddings as much as we do.)

Post # 11
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you’re paying the wedding planner then it doesn’t matter if she’s a friend of the family or not; you’re paying her to do a job, and it should be getting done. Remind her of the business nature of the relationship and if she can’t step up, let her go.

As for the “lazy bridesmaids” well to be honest, all they are required to do is show up for the ceremony and wear what you’ve asked them to, so unless they are sleeping at the front of the ceremony venue, then it’s not fair to call them lazy.  While many bridesmaids gladly help the bride by planning showers, parties, doing DIY projects, etc, none of that is really required, and if they’ve offered help and not stepped up, all you can do is POLITELY remind them what they offered.  But these things are favors and, like any favor in life, it’s always best if the asker makes their own plans under the assumption that the requested favor never materializes.  Like if you are moving, it’s always best to rent your own truck instead of relying on your cousin to show up on moving day with their truck, because if “something” comes up (they get sick or have to work or wreck their truck) then you’re at least not coming up short. Life lessons there 🙂   But in terms of “asking bridesmaids to do stuff” then your expectations might be set a little too high.

As far as the two receptions, while I absolutely disagree with any guest asking why they were included in Event A but not Event B, it’s fully human nature to see someone else with more “stuff” and wonder why you don’t get it too.  While your intention was good in wanting to include as many people as possible in at least some part of the day, clearly the execution wasn’t good, or those Event-A-Only people wouldn’t know there was a second reception for them not to be invited to.  Maybe that means someone on your Both-Events guest list has a big mouth, or maybe the invitations to Event B were not discreet enough, but that’s kind of a moot point now. The horse is out of the barn. All you can do is get a standard response ready so that if any other folks  want to ask, you’ll be prepared with a polite, clear answer that doesn’t cause any more hurt feelings.

Post # 13
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If you can’t afford to invite all the guests to the “formal” reception, then it makes more sense to have a more budget-concious reception that you can invite everyone to.  This seems tacky to do it that way.  Also the way you are calling everyone lazy makes me question your attitude!  Your wedding isn’t the ONLY thing going on in everyone else’s life!

Post # 15
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Having a one-hour reception for less important guests and kicking them out so the more important people can party it up is not cool so I can understand why people might be bothered by that. If I were invited to the first reception and not the second I would check decline on that RSVPand not bother sending a card or a gift. What you’re essentially doing is inviting a couple hundred people to cocktail hour and kicking them out when the dinner and fun stuff is about to start. 

The topic ‘I’m the Bride…’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors