- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Fi has never really gotten along with his dad. There is a lot of anger and resentment there. His dad took him and his sister away from their mother, married a woman who treated them horribly, and wouldn’t take them to see their own mother. Plus there is a lot of money issues between them (Fi’s dad convinced him to buy a small studio saying he would help him pay for it and then never did, Fi had to declare bankrupcy because his dad took out credit cards in his name to pay for FI’s school expenses and car, etc…), plus he couldn’t afford the studio anymore.
So now we hear from Fi’s aunts and grandmother that his father and stepmother don’t want us to get married. They think I’m not good enough for him. It’s true that I had to drop out of college because of a family emergency. I am however going back to school to get my degree in nursing because that is what I want to do. Fiance finsihed school and has a high paying job.
I make about half of what Fiance makes now but I do pay for half of the bills. Fiance will be paying for most of the wedding because he makes more money than me. His dad is mad about that. He doesn’t seem to care that when Fiance was having trouble paying for his studio I gave him my savings (7,500) while his dad (who is a millionaire) didn’t give him a dime. He doesn’t seem to care that when Fiance lost his job and was unemployed for a year and a half I paid everything and couldn’t start saving again until recently.
He bribed FI’s sister to marry a man who she didn’t really want to marry (because they had a kid together) by putting a down payment on a house for her. They got married last May and were seperated by October. I think it’s ridiculous that he was forcing her to get married, but we actually want to get married and he has a problem with it.
His stepmother is another problem. She’s a horrible racist who calls me a spic and says that I’m lazy and live off welfare (because I lost my job, and it took 6 months to find a new one, never lived off welfare by the way). She also calls FI’s mom and grandparents those jews and FI’s half brothers and sisters niggers and pickaninnies because they are biracial. She once told Chris (before he met me) “If you invite those jews and pickaninnies to your wedding don’t bother inviting your father or myself”
So Fiance doesn’t want either of them at the wedding and I have to agree with him. The other issue is well Fiance is very close to his aunts (father’s sisters) but they have stated that if his dad isn’t invited they won’t come because they don’t want to cause problems. I want to understand their position but it’s hard.
Now Fiance and I are thinking of inviting his dad but clearly stating that his stepmom is not invited. We know that if she were invited she wouldn’t come anyway but we are hoping that by specifically not inviting her, she’ll get so mad she’ll get FI’s dad not to come. That way we can tell his aunts well we invited him but he chose not to come because she’s not invited.
I just feel so stressed and a bit upset.
Upset that his dad and stepmom can’t see how much I have supported him and helped him both financially and emotionally and just be happy for us. We’ve been together almost 5 years. Did they think this would never happen?
as well as
Upset that his aunts are pretty much making it so we have to invite his dad if we want them to be at the wedding. Why would I want someone there who has done nothing but say how we shouldn’t get married?
I don’t know what to do.