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I'm worried about our guest list

posted 1 year ago in Family
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    1.
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    Sugar bee
    mandb122    March 6, 2011   Temporarily in Minnesota, From South Carolina, Wedding in Charleston

    For the first time in the whole wedding planning experience we've decided to invite more people than can fit in our reception venue.  We had originally planned to invite 30 (our reception venue can fit 36-38).  Apparently though my fiance's mom talked with everyone in his family at some point that we were having a semi-destination wedding but not that it was a small wedding with less people invited (we haven't talked to anyone in quite some time on his side of the family because of conflicted work schedules so we've never had a chance to talk with anyone about it or have it come up).  And some of my fiance's aunts already said they were kind of excited to come.  So we decided to add aunts and uncles (not cousins, my fiance has like 25 on just one side).  Our guest list now has 46 people being invited.  We came up with 16 people we don't think will come.  My fiance has an uncle in Iraq on business who can't just come whenever, my dad said his siblings probably won't be able to come because of distance and jobs, our grandparents will have trouble traveling, one of my friends will have just had her baby a few weeks before so she's not sure, etc.  So we should be fine, but it makes me worried.  It'll be fine, right?

    Also, I don't know if any cousins were "excited to come" but we just can't fit them.  So we offered to host a get together at my fiance's grandparents house (the gathering place for his family) a month after the wedding which I hope won't come off as a bad compromise to his cousins. 

    And I don't know if it'll cause issues but I have to invite my cousin on my mom's side.  First, she only has four people on her side of the family.  And second, his mom has Lupus and is aging in general and cannot travel alone so he needs to come along to help her travel and take care of her in general.  

    I know these worries are probably unfounded but it feels good to get them out of my head.  

     
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    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    I know it might seem crazy but DONT STRESS. I had a simmilar issue, our venue was really small, and for a while we had almost 100 people invited when only about 70 would fit. you will be surprised at how many people won't be able to make it. I had heard the statistics, but I was amazed when it worked out for us. And lastly don't stress about the no shows and people who suck at rsvp ing. it is mega annoying and stressing won't help! I wish I had relaxed a bit on my guest count.

     
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    Busy bee
    ladyox    May 16, 2010  

    Ditto @vistagirl.  I think it's pretty common to invite more than your space can hold and hope for the best :)  We invited 206 to a space that holds 150 and we were more than fine! 

    Good luck!

     
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    Blushing bee
    Miss_Pura Vida    May 21, 2011   NYC/DW in Costa Rica

    Agreed. We are having a "small" destination wedding but now it seems like lots of cousins (who i love) are "excited about coming" but I didn't think they would come to Costa Rica all the way from Malaysia.

    In total we are inviting 85 people but only expecting 40, and budgeting for 45.

    Although my space COULD hold everyone if they all decided to come. My budget COULD NOT! Keeping my fingers cross for us both.

    Good luck :D

     
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    Busy bee
    njm1313    February 19, 2011   Fort Lauderdale, Florida

    @mandb122: All of you will be fine, I just know it!!!  :)

    They say 20-30% of guests invited will not show (and that's for local weddings).  Destination weddings are about 50 - 60%. 

    I wouldn't stress about the situation because people being "excited" about the wedding and actually pulling things in their lives together to make it work are two different things.  Even I become excited about things a few months in advance and when the time comes closer, have to back out because life throws curve balls.  So, I think both you and @misspuravida will be fine.

    As for the cousins ... hosting the party a month after the wedding is a great idea!!!  I actually think that's a great compromise to the "un"invite.  But, to be honest, I'm sure the family understands being that its a "Destination" wedding.  Some may even feel relieved that they are not obligated to go (and use expenses) since "its family". 

    But, make sure you register for the "after party" with the rest of his family.  lol  ;)  Good luck!!!!

     
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    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    CorgiTales    February 1, 2011  

    I'm inviting 154 and we can afford to feed 110... :)

     
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    Busy bee
    starry    December 18, 2010  

    we invited way over our number....but right now from the RSVPs we are at the number we were predicting/trying to hit.....which was 60. We're at 56 so far.

     

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