Post # 1
Sorry bees, just have to get this out before I scream at someone at work!
I’m the front desk/admin/exec assistant in my office. About half an hour ago, one of my coworkers (let’s call her Pat) told me that another coworker (let’s call her Amy) left the office to head to a meeting all afternoon in a building with no cell service. This meeting is not on Amy’s calendar, so I’m not sure where in this (extremely large) building Amy will be at, but ok.
About 15 minutes ago, I get a call from Amy’s husband panicking. Legit freaking out about a family emergency and he can’t get ahold of her (they have 3 children). So I try to stay calm and tell him I will do my best to track her down and have her give him a call, but no guarantees because I have no way of getting in touch with her without finding the exact office she’s in and having someone relay a message.
So, I call Pat on her cell who’s since left for lunch to see if Amy told her where she would be at. Pat walks in the door as I’m on the phone with her and whispers “ok so she’s not actually in a meeting, she just went to that building so she wouldn’t have cell service. She’s avoiding her husband and doesn’t want to talk to him.”
WHAT THE ACTUAL F***.
So here I am panicking because I think one of her children had an accident or something…but no she’s just too immature to tell him “I don’t want to talk to you at work right now”. She could have at least given me a heads up that her husband would be calling and that she doesn’t want to talk to him! Amy is in her 50s, very well-grounded and down to earth. I would say she’s one of our most reliable and hardest working people here…this shocked me. I just can’t believe the position that put me in!
Also, what if there is actually a sudden family emergency that just came up? Ugh.
Post # 3
I also hope she’s not getting paid for her time lollygagging around and not working.
Post # 4
Who is Amy’s boss? I would be tempted to say something. Going MIA on company time in order to avoid your personal problems is NOT OKAY. Placing you in the middle and almost forcing you to lie for her is NOT OKAY.
Post # 5
Ugh. I hope this was a one-off!
Post # 6
if Amy really is the professional that you know her to be, I would assume that something happened in her home life that she hasn’t exactly figured out how to deal with. If her husband is calling you, tell him you have relayed the message to Amy ( and do so, just in case), but that puts the onus on her to then contact him.
I am sure she probably has no idea he has called you and put you in this position, so for the time being– I would be discreet about it. Especially if this is out of character for her.
Post # 7
@Mrs_Amanda: This is exactly the approach I’m taking. I’m shocked at this behavior coming from her…so I’m not exactly going around talking about it. I did have to explain a bit to a third coworker when she picked up the main line recently and had the same issue with her husband.
Post # 8
I don’t know why, but I got a bad feeling when I read this. Like maybe she’s being abused and is trying to get away? Or maybe he cheated on her and she just found out. Since it’s out of character, I’d be weary of calling this behavior immature. There’s probably a reason for it.
Post # 9
@annb9: I’m calling it immature to not have informed the person who answers her calls that there is a reason for her husband to be calling and she doesn’t want to talk to him. She should have told me at least that. We had a family emergency in the office recently, and his wife almost died. It’s not a good idea to leave without telling the person who will get that call that it’s not actually a family emergency that she needs contacted for. I could have very easily have panicked and gone straight to our director for help, who would have then wondered where she was and why she wasn’t in the office.
Post # 10
I would say something to her. Remind her of the recent situation in your office and that you were headed to the Director for help to track her down. She may not have thought this through. I was thinking, aslo, that she was M.I.A. cause she was having an a ffair. Seriously though you should say something to her.
Post # 11
It sounds like this isn’t a common occurrence and that Amy usually has her shit together. Give the woman a break!
Post # 12
Also, while THIS is not a common occurrence for her, bringing her personal life to the office definitely is. She spends at least two hours a day on her cell with her daughters or husband. Lots of people in my office check their phones, but it’s a little excessive. This just put me in such a bad position with her husband, and now I just have no clue what to do the next time he calls.
Post # 13
wait, so her husband lied too about it being an emergency just to get her on the phone? Ugh…I’d tell your boss that you aren’t a messaging service for your co-worker’s personal lives
Post # 14
@ebarnes0: Not saying the way she handled things is right, but I have a coworker whose hubby calls all the time, and it’s a controlling, manipulative, borderline abusive sort of thing going on. They’ve gotten into arguments because she didn’t answer the phone quick enough, and she had to assure him she was just down the hall. It’s bad. I can see how someone might want to get away from that kind of man however they can.
I read this about Amy and I immediately got suspicious of the husband using a family emergency to get ahold of her. But then again, my opinion is biased from the above situation. I’ve been in awkward situations with my coworker’s husband, like when I tell him she’s in the wrong place. It feels terrible, but you can only do your best in these personal situations.
Post # 15
@littlemisst08: Oh that’s terrible. I dated a guy who did very similar things…I feel awful for your coworker 🙁
No, as far as I know their marriage has been fine. She talks about her family pretty regularly and this definitely seems like an argument they’re in versus a continual pattern.
Post # 16
@Mrs_Amanda: @MrsStayPuft: +1 ,000,000
@ebarnes0: If the husband calls again, just tell him you cant get a hold of her. Which technically is the truth. Dont go involving your boss, whoever that may be. As a fellow admin, let me give you this advice–bosses don’t want to be bothered with this and the boss may even hold it against you for not handling it on your own. Also it’s good to have Amy and Pat on your side. You never know when you may need a favor from them in the future.