Post # 1
Has anyone had a truly tiny wedding that was immediate family only? If so, did you manage to keep the information private until the wedding was over or did it go public sooner? If so, how did extended family react?
So far I’ve managed to keep it pretty much under wraps, but some relatives on my fiance’s side know about it (from his mother) and one of my relatives overheard a conversation about it. All those who heard about it so far seemed pretty accepting, but I’m still a little worried about a blow up.
Post # 3
We had immediate family and a handful of close friends. had a count of 65 including party and us. It was pretty hard to keep it quiet from extended family as DH and a HUGE family… inviting them put our guestlist to close to 200. His mother’s side was pretty understanding but his dad’s side threw a fit.
We did what we could do that and left it at that… it worked and we have no regrets =)
Post # 4
We had 18 at the ceremony and 14 at the reception. Everyone did know about it but they also seemed to understand since it was largely a money issue. We cut our invite list where we did because it felt like after that, it would snowball as to who needed to be invited. It was really fun and gave us a chance to actually spend time with every one of our guests. Also, definitely get one picture that has all of your guests with you in it, it’s one of my favorite pictures.
Post # 5
We are having 11 people and they are all immediate family. I told all my extended family the reasoning behind the small wedding and I explained that I would bring my FI to meet them all after the wedding. But I guess I had an easy explanation since out of the 11 people coming to the wedding only 2 of them are FI’s family and he doesn’t have any extended family, so it would be crazy uneven if I invited everyone in my family.
Post # 6
@mandb122: I was definitely thinking of having a whole group picture. It seems like it would be nice to have. Actually, your guest list is the same as ours pretty much. I’m hoping it will be as much fun as you make it sound. We’re both very low maintenance people with a limited budget (partially by necessity and partially by choice) and it’s what we wanted, but I do feel guilty sometimes.
@runsyellowlites: That’s too bad some of his family had a fit. I am hoping no one in our families will. I guess when I rationalize more, I can’t see any of them getting openly angry about it, but just talking behind our backs about it, which basically is a silly thing to worry about anyway.
Post # 7
@STBMrsRoss: That is a special situation. If we invited everyone mine would be the small side by a huge margin too, but still not as uneven as your situation.
Post # 8
@STBMrsRoss: Similiar situation here with us. His family is 5 people and mine would easily go into the 50’s and that just doesn’t seem right.
We have limited our guest list to our immediate family and then our 3 closest married friends (25 total, but it will probably be 21). Friends is the area where we get the most flack. My mom will ask me every other week why I’m inviting my BFF instead of my aunt and uncle who live 1,000 miles away.
So far everyone knows about it and they just don’t bring it up. It’s awkward but I’m hoping the understand that just because they choose to have 100 people at their wedding doesn’t mean that I have too and it doesn’t mean that I don’t love them.
Post # 9
we had family only and a few family friends (so close they are considered family) we had about 60 people. It was very difficult keeping it private and a lot of people were upset they were not invited but for the people that actually matter they understood 🙂
Post # 10
We are having 12 guests. Just 2 witnesses and immediate family. We’re not telling anyone else until the last minute. 🙂
My family is based in Europe and my FI’s in Australia, so logistically it made sense to have something small.
At the end of the day, it has to be what you want!
We hate being the center of attention and just want it to be a mellow, great day!
Post # 11
@Mrs.Mittens: I don’t think it’s fair for people to get all upset about close friends either, since many of them probably spend far more time with you than many relatives do.
@bestbuddies: You’re absolutely right about the people who matter. Although parents on both sides have made comments – not offensive ones though. One of the comments was that a wedding *should* be like a big family reunion, since mostly the whole family only gets together for funerals. It wasn’t a big deal or anyhing, but I hardly see how it’s my responsibility to have a family reunion at my wedding.
@Lilirossa: I had the sense that keeping it quiet is probably best as well.