Post # 1
My fiance & I have been dating for almost a decade. We got engaged 2 years ago and still haven’t booked anything. We really want to get married, but I don’t feel comfortable spending thousands on one day. So we have decided to have a small immediate family only wedding. (parents, grandparents, siblings & their spouces)
We are concerned how the family will react when they find out they weren’t invited.
So, how should we go about this with the family? BTW, we aren’t very close with the extended family. We might see them once a year at best.
Should we tell people now that we’re having a small wedding with immediate family only, or do we tell them after?! Any advice would be VERY appreciated!!
(We are getting married this September)
Post # 3
Given that you only see them once a year, I don’t think you need to mention it beforehand. If you do holiday cards, you could include the news there; otherwise you could send traditional wedding announcements.
The only kink in this would be if your immediate family is likely to blab about it before the wedding to other family members.
Post # 4
To me, I’d be paranoid that my family or someone would let it slip (I know some of mine would) so I would rather just get it out in the open beforehand. A lot of people makes it harder to keep something quiet.
Post # 5
Since it’s not until September, I voted before. If it were like next week.. you could definitely wait until after. You could have the extended family over for a bbq when you get back from your honeymoon if you really wanted to just to celebrate with the extended fam.
You don’t owe them any real explanation other than that, we just really wanted something intimate with just our immediate family.
Post # 6
To me, this sounds like the perfect scenario to send a wedding announcement, and you can send it immediately after the wedding.
Post # 7
I too was going to suggest wedding announcements. I would ask someone who you trust to get a really good pic of you (or have your photog email them a preview pic the day of the wedding) and send them out on your behalf while you’re on your honeymoon.
Post # 8
I would say tell them now, but that’s only because I’m currently dealing with a bigg situation where everyone in my extended family assumed they were invited, and when it came out that my cousins aren’t invited, it’s become a huge huge deal. there’s even talk among my aunts of “boycotting” my wedding. It’s only been 2 months since I told them I was engaged, but apparently that was 2 months too long.
FYI–I hope you don’t deal with what I’m going through and that your family is understanding of your choice! there is really nothing worse than family members who make your wedding about themselves, not about the couple getting married 🙁