Post # 1
Today, SO asked..”what do you want for Christmas?”. Not surprisingly I said “a sparkly something! that’s all I want this Christmas”.
Yet, He seemed surprised by my comment eventhough he knows I want us to be engaged. I just couldn’t beleive that he’s not even thinking about doing it this year.
I asked him… “what’s the real hold up? I know it’s not money”. He said it was because of the money, since the ring I want would cost 6k to 7k. He had me show him what kind of ring I want 6 months ago.
Do you bees feel like you’re pushing your SO? I kinda feel like I am and I’m getting resentful that he’s not really planning this. I’ve been with him over 5 years (living together for 2). I’m happy with our life, we get along so well and I love him very much.
How to deal with the waiting? Any advise on how to stop thinking about it?
Post # 3
Take up a new hobby or set a new goal for yourself to work at? I know it seems like things are dragging.
Also, maybe consider a different ring? It seems like you could easily be engaged and planning a wedding but your preferences have gotten in the way.
Post # 4
- Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat
6-7 K is a LOT of money. Think of it this way: if you found a necklace online and loved it, but it was several thousand dollars, would you buy it? Remember that the ring is only a symbol 🙂 I chose an affordable ring (under $500) because I was sick of waiting LOL.
Post # 5
Ive learned through this travel that men are really fickle. They really want it all to be perfect. Maybe hes trying to throw you off? It is sooo hard to wait. Im [this] close and it is killing me LOL.. Try to stay occupied. You can dream (online) to fullfill those needs1
Post # 6
Wow, 6 to 7 k? If you want to be enagged sooner why not settle for a smaller ring? He’s right, that is a LOT of money and I can see why it would be making it take longer. Honestly, if I were him I’d be feeling resentful about being pushed to propose NOW when the ring you chose is so expensive.
Post # 7
I’m sorry but I have to agree exactly with @courtney1188.
In terms of staying strong through waiting, however…. these boards and venting both really help. And keeping busy/focusing on other things and other goals in your life. Best of luck.
Post # 8
If you want to be engaged by the end of the year, you might consider not asking your guy to pony up 6-7K for a ring. Could you find something more in his price range and make it clear your priority is to be with him?
Post # 9
Thanks all, I do realize that the ring is expensive. I wouldn’t pick something like it if he couldn’t afford it.
The second part of that is that we’ve already agreed that we would elope. So, we’re not spending another 10k+ on a wedding that lasts 4 hours, which is what a lot of people do.
We’ve talked about it just being the 2 of us somewhere far away. 🙂
And I do know it’s going to happen….eventually.
Post # 10
@nycfashionista: But he told you the reason he hasn’t proposed is because of the cost of the ring… so maybe if you compromised you wouldn’t have to wait much longer. Either way, hope it happens soon.
Post # 11
Waiting sucks, and there’s not a lot you can do about it. Try to take up a hobby to keep your mind off of it. I like to read, so I’ve been researching and reading lots and lots of books. Hopefully he is just throwing you off and you get engaged soon.
Post # 12
@nycfashionista: It sounds more like he could eventually afford it but can’t afford it at just this moment. I’m really only saying that because even you said that he said that it was about the money. Did you guys ever sit down and establish a budget for the ring? Or did you just happen to find something it it just happened to be between 6-7K?
Please, don’t take this as “your tastes are too expensive” judgement. I’m in the same position. Right now, the ring we bought, between the setting and the stone, ran us about 7K. My guy could afford it. It’s what HE wanted to spend. But it did take him a couple months to move things around, budget, and figure out that number. Before we started we established a budget and went from there. So I’d be a huge hypocrite to jump on to the how dare you pick an expensive ring train.
Are you sure it’s something he can afford at the moment? Have you guys shopped around for similar styles that might fetch a lower price point?
Post # 13
I know, to a lot of people it’s very expensive and that’s fine. But I think it’s already a bit of compromise on my end to not get into a costly wedding celebration.
Deep down, I think that the reason this hasn’t happened is mostly because he is very frugal. Which is great, but even if the ring was 1000, he’d still take his time. It’s just his nature to think things out. If he felt the ring was out of his affordable price range, he would ask me to pick something else and it would be done.
Secondly, we’re hoping to move to Manhattan (we’re in the outer borough now) before February. Now this, we’re doing together and that’s going to be likely more costly than my ring.
I just needed to vent. I’ll have to continue to be patient and read my books and keep busy 😀