Post # 1
For everyone who knows me i’m the least impateint person on the planet, also surprises really aren’t my cup of tea so an idea of a proposal is actually killing me.
A little bit of a back story for you guys. My other half and I have been together for 5 years ( 5 Years on Friday to be exact). We’re both you i’ll be turning 21 in October and am just ending my first year at university. He is 23 in Spetmeber and starts his graduate career in September too. We’re moving in together with anothe couple in august which i’m super excited about but i’ve been getting really moody about when he might propose ( which i’m aware is a little selfish of me).
The reason i’ve suddenly got so impatient is mostly due to family and firends who assume because we’re celebrating are 5 year anniversary my other half will propose then. I know for a fact he won’t and he also won’t for my 21st birthday as this is a discussion we’ve already had, but I think because everyone else keeps saying i wonder if he’ll propose i’m getting more I want to be engaged NOW.
Anyway this has turned into a little rant and it wasn’t supposed to, basically all i wanted to say is i’ve been given a vague kind of time line. Which is my other half wants to get married in his words ‘3 maybe 2 years’ and when I propose I’ll be happy to get married whenever afterwards that’s the point of proposing ‘ I want to marry you’, it’s not followed by’ I want to marry you, but not quite yet’
So do you lovely Bees’ in waiting think I’ll have to wait 2 years for a proposal? and is anybody else in the same boat as me long term relationship, both want to get married etc but not engaged?
Post # 3
@sheep105: Ugh, waiting can be such a b*tch, especially when the proposal obsession seed is planted in your head by those around you! I NEVER obsessed or even thought about marriage until my friends/my SO’s friends started asking “so when are you two getting married??”
I think this is really weird…you and I have the same anniversary! Except mine is for 3 years, and I’m 95% sure he will be proposing. I don’t say this to upset you…I say it because I want to follow up with our age difference. My SO is 28 and I am 22. He has a career and I am going to veterinary school. And we also agreed to a LONG engagement. Every couple is different, and 21 and 23 with no job to pay for a ring and wedding is tough. Hell, I’m not even sure I’m ready as Im still a “poor college kid”. However, our long engagement offsets my lack of stability (financially and still maturity).
Would your SO ever agree to a long engagement? Are your requirements for a ring holding him back from affording one? My SO has more expensive tastes than I, but I do know he had to scrounge a bit to purchase my between $5k-10k ring….so I think that’s why he and I looked at rings a year ago and he’s just now bought one.
Weddings are REALLY expensive, and even with our combined income of over $100k, I still panic thinking about affording a wedding! Being established in life, in my opinion, should come before marriage. I really think a longer engagement would do you both good…just my opinion. Good luck waiting, and enjoy your anniversary! I’ll be thinking of you on Friday! 🙂
Post # 4
O happy anniversary for Friday 😉 and I wish you all the best in getting your proposal.
mu SO isn’t a long enagagement kind if guy unfortunatly, we’ve had discussions about such and he believes when we get engaged we’ll get married quickly afterwards. His reasons for not proposing now seeing as he wants ago get married quickly after are very legit as I’m in uni till Septemeber 2015 and although have an almost guaranteed job following graduation it’s hard to save money while I’m studying due to the nature of my degree.
I think this reason I get a little frustrated is we’ve spoken about marriage for the last 2 years ( we’re both mature above our years) most of my friends joke that I’ll have a midlife crisis at 22. Anyway so I’m 100% sure we’ll get married and we talk about what we’d like for the big day, I want a small affair he’s a more of the big white wedding kind. but I can’t exactly talk to family and friends about getting married and such and then go but we’re not engaged.
my ring dreams are pretty low key tbh I don’t like big bling and once I’m qualified and beforehand I won’t be able to wear the ring a lot of the time so I think it would be silly forking out tonns. my and the SO have picked out my perfect ring which has a tanzanite centre stone and costs £399 although my SO says he thinks I’m worth more which I’ve reiterated isn’t the point.
haha anyway I’m going to have to keep my proposal dreams under wraps for a little while me thinks, but I swear if one more person asks if I think he’ll propose on Friday I’m going to snap :p
take care xxx
Post # 5
@kendra389: Did you have a good anniversary?
Post # 6
It’s important to remember that you are both still young – 20 & 22. You have plenty of time to commit the rest of your lives together. My fiancé & I are only a bit older than you (24) and have only just got engaged. We have been together for over 5 years as well but we decided to wait until we were financially stable and independent to get engaged. It sounds like you’re not quite there yet if you’ve got another 2 years of university ahead of you and your boyfriend is just starting work. Do not let your friends and family pressure you into an engagement. Planning a wedding, juggling university and a career is hard!
Unless you plan on having your families pay for your wedding or you want to elope, I’d try just to enjoy the stage you’re at as it doesn’t really sound to me that you’re in a position to have a wedding.
If you really want the commitment of an engagement, I think you might have to be the one to propose as your boyfriend doesn’t sound like he’s there yet.
Good luck to you both!
Post # 7
@lunalyra: THe rational part of my brain knows were not ready yet, it just had to talk firmly to the other parts of my brain and remind them 😉
[email protected] really looking forwards to us moving in together in august which will hopefully go smoothly and we’ll see what steps we can take after that point.
I would love to elope but the bf deo wants the big white wedding (feel this is the wrong way round)
Congratulations on your engagement. I’m sure i’ll join you when the time is right
Post # 8
@sheep105: Congratulations on moving in together! It’s a really exciting time! We moved in together the August before last and it’s been great.
My FI is the same as your boyfriend – he wants a bigger wedding than I do! We’ve compromised on about 70 guests though, which seems massive to me but I think it’ll be OK!