Post # 1
I am 23 my bf is 26. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We have a daughter that will turn 2 in a few months. We got pregnant almost immediatly. We decided to move in together to save on bills, and fell completely head over hills for each other! We communicate really well, we have spats like all couples, but never scream and always hash it out until we are both happy. I know that we moved in together really fast (like after 4 months of being together) and fell in love even quicker, but I have been waiting for a proposal for about 2 years. He loves me, he does little things to show he cares all the time, and we have talked bout marriage a few times. He is graduating in about a week with a BA and I am still in school. I would like a long engagement, but he says he can’t afford to buy me the ring I deserve. I would be happy with a white gold band, but he won’t go for it. He is getting deployed in about a month, and will be gone until January of next year. I trust him and our relationship, but it would be nice for it to move forward, even though I don’t expect marriage immediatly after the proposal. I guess I’m just wanting the security of knowing it is moving forward. I know having a kid is more of a commitment than marriage, but it would be nice if he took that next step. Sorry this is so long!
Post # 2
futuremrsoco: I understand where both of you are coming from.
Try brining it up to him again and expain it will make his deployment a little easier on you both. But in the end, proposals are the only part we really leave up to the guys. It is the only thing they get to plan so i can understand when he says he wants the ring to be one you deserve.
Post # 3
He is probably going to wait until he gets back to afford a nice one.
Post # 4
If I were you, I’d try not to stress too much for these reasons:
1. You are young so can “afford” to wait a little longer
2. Although I believe you can get engaged whenever it’s appropriate despite length of relationship, you guys haven’t been together for a huuuge amount of time where you need to start questioning his motives of stalling
3. Lots of people don’t believe in getting engaged until you can start actively planning for a wedding which it sounds like you aren’t ready to do
3. He has given you a pretty suitable reason that he wants to wait until he can afford to get you what he wants to get you.
I understand raising a child together speeds up the “seriousness” of a relationship, however if I were you I’d try to just enjoy the relationship for another year and if nothing happens in that year, then start discussing timelines and all of that.
Post # 5
Thank you all for your comments! It really helps to be able to talk to someone about it. I know we haven’t been together all that long, but we know we are right for each other. There are some very valid reasons for not getting engaged right now, but it is frustating lol. I want a very small, intimate wedding, as does Mr Oco. The wedding will cost less than 1K, because I have looked around to get an idea of the costs in our area lol. l He will do it in his own time, but darn I wish all the ducks were in a row. I really appreciate you all replying 🙂