Post # 1
Hi, Just wanted to get your adivce on something!
So my FI and I had planned an elaborate wedding (350+ invited, 200+ RSVP yes), but unfortunately 4 days before our 8/08 wedding, my FI became ill and we had to postpone. Now everything is fine, and we are getting married now in 8/09. HOWEVER, after planning a huge wedding for a little less than 2 years….frankly, I’m exhausted. Even though I didn’t get to go through w/ the wedding I had planned….I just didn’t have it in me to do it again. So now we are going to Hawaii w/ a small group (just family and a few close friends) instead. We are also having an "at-home-reception" in the form of a New Years Eve party for our family/friends who we could not include in Hawaii. So, here are my issues. 1) I want to send out wedding announcements, announcing our Hawaiian wedding, to all of the guests who were initially invited (even those who RSPV’ed no…although, those who RSVP’ed no, who aren’t really that close w/ the family may not even know we DIDN’T get married!). 2) Our at-home-reception location cannot accomodate all of our original guest list, so, we will just be inviting a portion of them. I know what I want to do in my heart, but at the same time, part of me feels like I am committing a huge ettiquite mistake, and will end up offending 1/2 of our family and friends. This is a unique situation, and I have had no luck finding anyone with a similar experience. What should I do??? Also, I am trying to come up with wording for our wedding announcements…. any help would be so so much appreciated!
Post # 3
We postponed our date by almost a year too, and totally would have done something like this if the only reason we didn’t lose our money on anything was by giving them a new date. We did, however, have to cut our guest list down to 350 from 450 – yes you read that right! I know we’ll be offending some people. But honestly, weddings are about you guys as a couple, and I think you should do what you want to do in your heart- only invite those you really want to to the at-home reception. Maybe skip out on sending the announcements to the "no" guests, and then don’t invite them to the at-home reception, since as you said, they might not even know you didn’t get married and they aren’t that close to you guys anyway!
Also- totally play pictures from the hawaiian wedding throughout the night on a big screen!! Ooh, or do a NYE Luau!! (how do u spell that…)
Post # 4
Wow, this is unique. I agree with monalisa670, maybe just "forget" to send the announcements to those that you can’t invite. I would think after a year your guest list may change a bit anyway?
Post # 5
I would wait to send announcements until after your reception. If someone isn’t invited to the wedding, it’s polite to send an announcement (and in your case, they NEED an announcement since they know the first was cancelled). I don’t think it’s rude, you probably lost a lot of money for cancelling the first and they should understand.
(On the "we don’t talk about this" side, I am curious if you already sent out Thank You cards to those who bought gifts from your registry?)
Post # 6
Haha….we had a unique situation with my shower(s) as well. Since our families are located geographically separate, my mom and bridesmaids threw me one shower, and his mom was supposed to throw me another shower. My future MIL, though, had to leave the country unexpectedly because of work…for like 2 months!….and thus could not get it together. That being said, my first shower was really only 1/2 the guestlist, so it was kinda small. I had already sent out Thank you notes for those gifts received immediately after the shower (which we had in June…the wedding was in August). After our wedding got postponed, I had my mom kind of gauge the reaction of our friends and family about returning the gifts we received from the shower. Everyone said it was silly/ridiculous to send the gifts back…since it was a postponement (not a cancellation) due to illness, and we’d be getting married again as soon as we could. I did return the wedding gifts we received (since we postponed only 4 days before the wedding date, we had received some things from people who could not attend), with a little note.
Thanks so much for the advice! We are definitely going to play our wedding photos at the NYE party. I am so excited about our new plan (actually, much more so than the first time!), so you’re right, we’re gonna do exactly what we want! 🙂
Post # 7
I design wedding invitations and accompaniments. I just recently had a couple go through a similar situation. Our solution was to make 2 sets of announcements. The first set announces your upcoming wedding and invites your guest to attend your reception. The second set announces that you got married (past tense). These are sent to people you did not invite to your reception.
Hope this is helpful. I’m sure it will turn out fine!