(Closed) In Defense of the +1 — Anyone read this?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11328 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Spoken like a true man who has never planned a wedding 🙂 

I mean really…? “If you want to cut costs get married at city hall” reallllllly??

so if you have a budget, scrap the whole event. 

only throw a wedding if the sky is the limit. 

Or? just cut back on those “towering orchids” but um… my entire budget for reception decorations INCLUDING FLOWERS is $300. Logic fail. 

 

oh well 🙂  (p.s. I actually am inviting +1s for my own reasons… but i think his reasons are dumb)

Post # 4
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the author is the only person in the world who chooses his +1 specifically based on whether they’re good at a wedding:

“When I’m granted leave to bring someone to a wedding, I make sure to choose an escort who’s affable and appropriate, graceful and enthusiastic. I pick someone who loves hot hors d’oeuvres, ’80s music, and old people. In other words, I engineer my date to be the ideal wedding guest. My hand-picked +1 will hoist your chair and bring joy to the dance floor; someone else’s grumpy husband will skulk in the corner.”

Post # 5
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think this guy makes the worst argument ever for +1s… and I allowed everyone a +1! 

He basically said because weddings are in the thousands of dollars you should just keep spending because the +1s bring the life to the party, not the family and friends. WTH?

Post # 6
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010 - Ladder 15 Restaurant

Ugh.  Let’s face it–it isn’t possible to please everyone and no matter what, someone will always hate on what you do!  I do think that his brother was a bit cruel by not inviting his gf though!  That’s a little cold considering they’d been together awhile and it’s his own brother!

Post # 7
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I am giving all my singles +1s, and I am usually the first to defend doing so.  However, that article made me really mad. His reasons made no sense, and the idea that anyone who isn’t willing to just throw money at things without giving one moments thought to the cost doesn’t really understand what it means to celebrate a wedding is offensive.  Corgitales is right- this guy has clearly never planned a wedding, or perhaps any event where he had a budget to stick to.

Post # 8
Member
11328 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@mssocks i agree about the brother. what i think is impressive is that this guy had two instances where he really probably SHOULD have gotten +1s, and there are a thousand good arguments out there for inviting them, and he some how was able to systematically sidestep every decent argument out there in favor of utter nonsense. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We cut out +1’s for anyone who hasn’t been in a relationship for at least 3 months. We’re sending out our invitations next week, and by the time the wedding comes, they’ll have been in a relationship for 6 months. But our single friends were okay with it, they understood… the only person who didn’t understand/got upset was FI’s sister, and she’s in a relationship of 7 years, so it doesn’t impact her anyway… so we don’t want to be meeting people for the first time on our wedding day – “hi, and who are you? hope you enjoyed your expensive meal, what was your name again?” I dont think there’s anything wrong with that, and it saves us money too!

Post # 10
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

To the person who wrote this stupid waste of time – H.T.F.U. (or harden the f&^% up).  Maybe you could try a spoon of cement in your morning coffee to see if that helps!!

And just because a couple chooses to have a reception as they want with a guest list size they want, does not a bridezilla make!! (As I am sure everyone here will atest to)

And I loved how the article started as a bitch about not being able to take a precious long term girlfriend, and then at the end of it she had morphed into some fantastical wedding rent a guest, who will be the life of the party.

Oh pulease!!

Post # 11
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

We did give our bridal party +1’s even if they were single though… i disagree with the brother on that one!

Post # 12
Member
3219 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am doing 1+’s for anyone who ive heard about there SO. I do have 1 friend ( a male) who cant EVER go anywhere alone and he is not in a relationship and im really worried about him bringing a random person!

Post # 13
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Anthony’s Fine Dining

Well said, @CorgiTales!  Clearly he has no idea how this stuff works.

Post # 14
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This sounds like a non-argument to me, it just doesn’t make sense.  I love this quote “When did newlyweds get so negative?”  Negative?  Like in the red?  As in, we’d like to keep our bank accounts out of the red?

Then he goes on to talk about WIC being to blame.  Sure…any solutions?  No?  As a “number crunching technocrat,” I wonder what he means by saying he wishes there were more bridezillas.  Would that make my wedding cost less and therefore allow me to give everyone +1s?  If I abuse my vendors and family members, I suppose my budget will grow and everyone will ultimately be happy because they got to bring their friend who can bust out an amazing worm on the dance floor.

I’m all for +1s, hoping to add plenty of them to my wedding.  But CorgiTales hit the nail on the head–this guy has no clue.   

Post # 15
Member
4382 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Ceremony - First United Methodist Church; Reception - My parents' house!

Bah, he is just uppity. We did plus ones for our own reasons, and most didn’t even use them. It was no big in the long run. 

Post # 16
Member
524 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Our invitee list was less than 70 people, so I didn’t want a lot of people there who neither of us know, unless that person was special to our guest (in which case, we’re excited to meet the guest anyway).  I gave +1s to any out of town guests who wanted one to bring a significant other (no artificial cutoffs at time dating or engaged–I let them decide who was “special”).  I didn’t want anyone who wanted to come to be forced to travel alone.

I didn’t give +1s to in town guests unless they were married or a long time significant other.  It’s a few miles for them and they’ll know other people–they can leave their flavor of the week at home.

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