Post # 1
Not specifically “wedding related” but help me out ladies.
My daughter is 7 and in first grade this year. THis is the first time she has needed to wake up consistently early (7:30, so not outlandishly so) every single day of the week to be somewhere and it has been a tremmendous struggle. Not because she is slow in the morning, but becuase some mornings she gets herself ready without a problem.
However at least two mornings a week she will have a tantrum that makes us late for school. It is simple things like “get your jacket on” that turn into her sitting in the doorway saying “No. I am not ready to go!” Or refusing to brush her teeth, or just screaming over nothing really. And it is becoming more frequent. We don’t think anything is going on at school because we have asked the teachers. We have tried taking things away, softly coaxing her through the morning, ignoring the tantrum in hopes that she will get tired of it and move on on her own. Nothing has been effective.
However, this is fairly typical for her behavior when she is tired or “done” as kids can be. Typically she does it at night time after dinner where she will refuse to get ready for a shower or something. The simple way that we have found effective for handling this is telling her it is time to be done and it is straight to bed for sleep. It is much better for everyone than having her screaming through her entire bedtime routine and allows her the rest she needs. However, this is not an option in the morning. She arrives late to school just about as often as she is on time.
On the flip side of things, she stays up late. Her bedtime is 8:00 on the dot, but she hides in her bed and reads or plays with toys etc. etc. Her bed is completely stripped of everything besides her blankets and a pillow at this point, but she still stays up. Not becuse she is not tired (because gosh this little lady is tired) but because she forces herself to.
Does anyone have any advice, or has anyone experienced this? My fiance and I really struggling figuring out what the best way to go about handling the behavior in the morning in a way that is quickly effective. We also want to ressolve this long term because she has many many years of this ahead of her and we need to teach her how to get up in the morning.
Post # 2
freshflowers: I have a six year old who is in first grade. His schoo has a later start time (9:30), but he still needs to get up and be ready every day- and he needs decent sleep.
I think just about every kid does what your daughter does– there are a few things I have found to be relatively effective.
#1: make everyday a habir or schedule. My son knows that it’s time to take a shower when he gets home from school. Once in a blue moon he’ll want to push it back a bit, but that’s not often, and it’s only when he’s excited about something he brought home from school or wants to draw or color.
#2: I will “start” bedtime at 6:30 often- especially when it’s lighter out. I’ll mention it’s getting closer to bedtime. (His bedtime is 8-8:30). This way he starts to get in the mind set.
#3: We bought blackout curtains for his room. We already had them in our room- and realized it would be very beneficial to have them in his room- as it’s light out for a long whilein the beginning and end of the school year.
#4: If things are really tough- meaning he just won’t go to bed, we’ll take somethinng away, so to speak. So this month- I’d ask him if he wants to go trick-or-treating. That right there usually gets him into shape.
I’m not a mean mom, I’m very close to my son. I just have to remind him sometimes that I’m the mom and he’s the kid. I don’t talk to him like a child– meaning– I really just talk to him about things when I need to.
Instead of always trying to lecture him or tell him he’s wrong– I at least attempt to just talk to him. I explain to him why he needs to do (or not do) something.
Really, in your case- and now knowing your daughter, I’d just start by starting bed time earlier. You can’t literally force a kid to sleep….so if she gets into bed earlier, it allows her the time she’s going to stay awake regardless….and hopefully she’ll get bored and still get enough sleep.
Do you read to her before bedtime? Try rubbing her back a little when it’s time to lay down. My son loves that and he relaxes immediately.
Post # 3
freshflowers: I’m not a mom but if she is having a hard time actually sleeping or falling asleep once she is in bed, maybe get a guided meditation or relaxation/ calming music to play at like 730? Maybe that will help her relax enough to sleep and will stop her from getting distracted/staying up. You can make it special by telling her she gets to listen to it only in bed or something so maybe she won’t fight you on getting to bed.
Post # 4
I was never one for consistent until I stuck with it and it made a world of difference. Now I make my husband do it and he sees as well how much of a difference it makes. My daughter watches TV in bed and still falls asleep with the tv on by 8 (within 30 minutes when she is supposed to because she knows exactly what time the tv will be cut off every single night). We do wake her up an hour and a half before she leaves for school because this girl takes forever to get ready for school. I mean it took her 10 minutes to put socks on. But its about making a routine and sticking with it no matter what, no excuses. No matter the tantrum.
when my daughter would try to throw a tantrum I would look at her with a straight face a calm voice and say “no, you are not going to fk that. You are going to stand up, do what I’m telling you to do right now. You have no other option, I’m your mom and you listen to me, plain and simple now do it.” And that seems to get the point across. I cringe when parents ask their kids “please stop slapping mommy in the face” during a grocery stir tantrum
Post # 5
^ugh… The typos drive me nuts but I can’t edit from my Windows phone, sorry. Hope you can decode :/
Post # 6
I’ll agree with PP. My son’s only 3 turning 4 in Nov, but he still goes to preschool for three hours in the morning. In order to get him up and out on time I don’t know how I would do it if I didn’t have a schedule. Obviously not planned to the second of every day but for mornings and bed times? Oh yeah. Dinner at 5:30-6:30, half hour of extreme play time to really push him over the edge of sleepy or a kids show of his choice to 6:30, bath time to 7 or earlier, 2 bed time stories of his choice, and then lights out. He’s always totally out by 8. Of course this means he’s up by 6, which means mommy and daddy are up by 6, haha. But this gives us loads of time to get ready for school, clean up, and sneak in some play time. Since we’ve implemented the schedule and really stuck by it there haven’t been any problems for bed time or for mornings.
Post # 7
I agree with PPs. I’d push forward her bedtime and the time she gets up. So more time for her to get to sleep and more time to get ready in the morning.
Post # 8
This is what I do with my kids with a consistent routine. They will learn they want to do it on their own before the assisting phase. First, I tell them what I want them to do. Second, I model/ show them what I want them to do. Last, I assist them in doing it correctly. I hope this helps.
Post # 9
I’ve also always given my kids “time warnings” such as – Okay, kids, we are leaving the house in 15 minutes, so you still need to do X, Y and Z, then 10 minutes, then 5 minutes. It helps give them a sense of what’s coming and hopefully be prepared for it. They are 15 and 11 now, and I still do this to some extent and they know when I get to 0 – we are walking out the door.
Post # 10
Things I find helpful:
- consistent routine
- prepping for the next day in the evening- that means they choose their outfit- hang it on the hook for that purpose(include socks, underwear and shoes);pack their own backpack; and believe it or not-make their own lunch. (I have a chart on the fridge with pictures of the food groups and they have to take something from each food group. It makes for some interesting combinations but they eat their lunch.)
- breakfast is easy to eat and portable so they can take it with them if necessary
- I suspect this is the one that will be controversial- when it’s time to leave- I leave. If they are not ready or dawdling, too bad. I gather up my stuff and head out the door to the car. It only takes once for them to know you are serious and they gather up their stuff and scramble towards the car full speed ahead. It’s amazing how fast a child can grab their shoes, and put on their jacket when they realize their ride is leaving.
As a pp has said, it drives me crazy when parents beg and plead with their kids to do something. My philosophy is that my goal is to raise independent human beings but, in the meantime, I’m in charge.
To the OP- I don’t think your child is getting enough sleep. This is a common problem with may school aged children these days. Perhaps a change of bedtime routine will help, then mornings won’t be such a challenge.