Post # 1
Hey Bees – another need for advice.
Very recently my FMIL has been very vocal about how she feels she is going to loose her son once we get married and that she is terrified for our wedding day. She has choosen to not come to family events almost to prove a point.
I can’t help but feel offended – we have been together for 5 years as of January and we have lived together for 4 years. Nothing has changed ? I am not taking her son from her but our lives have been very hectic lately and I think she is thinking its me.
She is a great mom and a great woman but I don’t know how to deal with this kind of behavior – this has been putting emotional strain on both of us.
Any other Bees experience this ?
Post # 3
She is scared of losing her son but choosing not to come to family events? Sounds like she is inflicting this on herself.
My MIL was clingy and still is, and I think that is her way of making sure I don’t “take her son” away. I was disappointed with her at my bridal shower because she just kind of sat there, didn’t participate, and had this sad look on her face the whole time.
I suggested to DH to go visit his mom and take her out for dinner or to a movie, but he was veru supportive of me and said if his mom couldn’t accept that we were like one person, then he isn’t going.
Talk to your FI about it, see if maybe he can make an effort to find some time for his mother and maybe he can talk to her. I think it is normal for mothers to feel this way, but it isn’t going to change just because she distances herself. That will make it worse.
Post # 4
She is being ridiculous. Of course nothing is going to change is you and your SO have been living together for 4 years already! Signing your names on a piece of paper isn’t suddenly going to make even more loyal to you after so many years.
As megz06 just said, she’s doing it to herself if she isn’t bothering to show up to family events. That will only distance herself from her son. She must have expected her son to marry at some point in his life. Most guys tend to. I do not understand why she’s suddenly bringing this up 5 years down the line..
Hopefully she will realise how silly she is being and stop her childishness.