- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
Vent session #1:
I am hoping to unload some of what’s going on in my hectic life in hopes of getting advice, prayer, I don’t even
While this should be one of the happiest moments in my life, it is quickly turning into a horrid nightmare. Back around information: FI and I have been together for about 3-4 years and we have twin sons. During this time we have had horrible times, wonderful times, and have built a wonderful family. Everyone asked from day 1, when we would finally tie the knot and now that it seems to be happening it has been the one thing that everyone is attacking.
1. Me and all my sisters are engaged in the same year. What are the odds? While two of my sisters don’t plan to get married any time soon (both have been married before) the sister who has competed with me my entire life tells me that she has no plans on getting married. FI surprises me and chooses a particular month and to everyone surprise my sister says she wants to get married in that month. Once again what are the odds? Now, don’t think that I was upset by this, by all means, I was excited to share in the process with someone especially my sibling of getting engaged, planning, married etc… Now she feels like I would steal her moment or they would compare our weddings etc. SIGH..
I decide I’ll continue on planning my own wedding and leave the drama out of my life….
2. FI, FMIL, FSIL, FFIL all have issues with one another. His father and his mother broke up and remarried and they all hate each other. Now while I can live with that, my FSIL calls me and says that if we invite FFIL and his new family that she will not be attending the wedding nor her kids. It gets complicated because my FI loves his sister very much as well as her children. I mean he views them as his own children but he feels horrible not to invite his father (since he wasn’t invited to any milestones prior). Now FI gets sad and gloom every time I bring up the wedding in regards to guest list, invitations, or anything that involves his mom or sister. I don’t know what to do?
Still I decide to cross that bridge when our guest list cut off is due (November)….
3. I finally found my dream dress and I email FSIL and FMIL and get no response. Actually it’s been almost a month since I heard from both of them. She calls me today to say I have a few things I’d like to get off my chest. So I say okay…. She goes on to rant about FI and I being self absorbed and not caring about what affects them. She says that she thought we were suppose to be closer and how she always took my side etc. She continues to talk about FI and not understanding why he’s even inviting FFIL and company and that it’s a shame. She also says that she has spoken about me to her mom and that she has some words for me.
I decide I can’t take anymore and respond… As always I am stuck in the middle. They have years of issues and resentment towards each other yet I am suppose to find a way to appease everyone. The problem with that is every time I do this they start talking and I look like the bad guy (as weird as that sounds). I am tired of being the scapegoat. As a matter of fact I am tired of having to cry because I just want to be happy. I can’t sleep and wonder if I should just call this whole thing off. I know this is the man I want to be with, I mean I love him and our beautiful one year olds, but frankly this future in law situation is becoming overwhelming and disheartening.
I know my thoughts were all over the place but it is only because she just called and when I emailed him to tell him she called he says ok…whatever.. I’m annoyed with all of them. I am here trying to be happy with the fact that I will be married God willing in less than 9 months but I can’t because my family is too worried about the cost (which I am paying) and the fact that my sister also wants to get married (how this is my problem- I don’t know). While his family threatens not to show up if people they don’t want to be near are invited. As much as I want to say, “if you show up you show up, if you don’t you don’t” FI does not see things this way. HELP!