- 6 years ago
- Wedding: July 2012
They are LITERALLY making my hair fall out! My hair is falling out!
So just this past weekend my Bestfriend/MOH threw the most amazing, spectacular, over the top bridal shower for me. I mean she really out did herself.This was on the 16th.
Anyway, I will be having a total of 2 showers. Why? Because the MIL, insisted that the “mothers” throw the showers, plus she wanted to have an “adult” shower (i’m 29)- whatever the h3ll that means! She said she wanted have a shower just for her family and the women of our church and didn’t want to be bothered with my little friends and strippers (at a shower, really, strippers?). I said ok, whatever you want to do. We had been emailing back and forth last week about the shower she will be throwing on the 30th. She requested a guest list though she said it was for her family members and church members (shouldn’t she already know it?), I sent list anyway. She then asks where are your friends and famly, I reply that they will be attending the other shower. She says ok.
So Sunday the day after my shower, my fiance and I arrive at his mom’s house for Sunday dinner. He is already inside the house, MIL is in driveway. I approach, and say nice car (she just got a new car), she responds “Why are you here, what are you doing here?” in a cold tone. It really caught me off guard, I respond a bit confused ” Fiance said we were having Sunday dinner here?” Here is how the rest of the conversation goes:
MIL: So you had a shower yesterday?
Me: Yes, we just talked about it the other day. The one you said you didn’t want to attend…
MIL: Well, you know his siteres heard about it yesterday and their feelings are very hurt, I don’t know what they will say or how they will react when you go in, but it won’t be good.
Me: Well, you don’t have to worry about that because I won’t be going in.
MIL: Why not? Why weren’t they invited?
Me: I’m so over this nonsense and drama. I’m beyond stressed, and I do not care about their feelings. I’m tired of being the bigger person. I didn’t invite them because they will be attending the shower you are throwing on the 30th,
MIL: Why didn’t you invite any of the family? You don’t include us an anything!
ME:What? You said you are having your own separate shower just for your family. Why would I invited to both, thats greedy. I don’t include you guys? Really? I have tried on more than 1 occasion to include your family. I asked your daughters( one who used to be a very close friend not anymore more like she hates me, see previous post) did they want to be hostesses, they were offended I ask them to be a host and said no, they think they should be bridesmaids. I asked if her grandsons could be ring bearers they laughed and said no. Her son is a groomsmen, her stepson is walking her down the aisle. I had a special event planned just for them pole dancing class and happy hour, MOH sent out invites (that got no response, she even called spoke with sister, and texted), put down and lost deposit, and event was cancelled due to their lack of participation. So at this point I really think I have bent over backwards to please and include them. I done letting them talk crazy to me, and try to railroad me simply because I have been quiet and being the bigger person. I’m DONE! F it! Yes, dropped the f bomb while talking to MIL, this is the only thing I will apologize for, I was totally out of character)
MIL: You should continue being the bigge person. You should have still given them the opoertunity to say no. How come your issue with his sister makes you exclude others in the family. How come you didn’t invite his cousins to shower?
Me: (She still doesn’t get it) I wasn’t being malicious at all. I didn’t INVITE ANYONE FROM YOUR FAMILY TO SHOWER BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WERE HAVING ONE JUST FOR YOUR FAMILY! Are your feelings hurt too?
MIL: Ok, no my feelings weren’t hurt because I said I didn’t want to be bothered with your friends.
ME: So why are we having this conversation again (we have had fanily meetings about the brisdesmaid issue, and his sisters’s issues with me). Why aren’t you talking to them? I’m so over this, its dumb. It’s our wedding, they can’t choose what role they want to play, its not their day. If they really wanted to be involved and really wanted to support they would have been whatever I asked them to be.
MIL: I have. I’m not taking sides. I want everyone to get along. This will get worse. (this was a lie, groom talks to her later, she really thinks they should be bridesmaids and should have been inited to shower)
Me: Well at this point, I’m done being the bigger person. If they talk reckless to me, I will be talking reckless to them. Its funny that they want me to act in a way they never would. (they are extremely petty, always ready to fight someone and cuss them out)
The MIL continues a few more times asking why family members weren’t invited, I repeat the same statement over and over 2 different showers, 2 different groups. Don’t know why she is having difficulty comprehending the rules she set?
I will not be apologizing to his sisters or his family. At this point I don’t care if they come to wedding. I really don’t think I was wrong.