In law drama

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@Moissy:  I’m really really sorry for what you guys are going through. It sounds like FMIL has a lot of issues that she needs to figure out with the help of a Counselor or Therapist (which I seriously hope, for everyone’s sake, she is already doing).

Keep doing the best that you can. She sounds like a very sick individual, but at some point everyone needs to take responsibility for their actions.

My best advice would be to continue being supportive of your FI, his brother, and your FFIL. It sounds as if the three of them will need your continued love and support in the forseeable future.

Post # 4
Member
1259 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@Moissy:  Yeah that’s tough 🙁 Was she actually diagnosed as bipolar? If that is the case, I do have more sympathy because mental illness is a tough thing. However, she should be getting help for herself. I am so sorry you and your FI have to go through this. I do not have much to offer in the way of advice. Just hang in there and maybe try to get her help.

Post # 6
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1987

It may be that your FMIL is ill but that doesn’t allow her to make anyone else ill.  

 

It is particularly difficult for your FI but you are doing all the right things in supporting him.

 

I know that you are trying to give your inlaws advice but if they are not taking it then you might as well stop doing so.  Ultimately they have to sort things out themselves.

 

Ask your psychologist for strategies to deal with the situation.  Talk to your FI about your marriage and how different and wonderful and uncomplicated it is going to be.

 

People with borderline personality disorder have a great fear of rejection and spend their time idolising their loved ones until something happens to make them fear rejection and then they blame the loved ones for everything.  This is a repeated pattern.  I should know; I have a family member with this illness.  

 

 Be consistent and clear and firm.  Be pleasant but don’t get involved in the arguments.  Forget about the eggshells.  Your FI’s illness shouldn’t define your behaviour.

 

Be consistent, clear and firm.  Don’t forget this.  And make time for you two to enjoy the wedding planning.

 

 

 

 

 

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