- 2 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
I need some advice about my in-laws. I am really trying to do the right thing by them, but feel in the process that I’m not doing the right thing by myself or my relationship.
My in-laws have always been very controlling towards my fiance, but have taken it up several notches since we announced our engagement. Initially they were excited when we told them about getting engaged, but that went downhill quickly.
They turned up at our engagement party and didn’t speak to either of us. We hadn’t had an argument prior to the engagement party or at all. My fiance asked them to take photographs of the engagement party and initially my father in law refused. My fiance then spoke to him again and he agreed to take photos. He then proceeded to take photos of the walls and floor of the room as well as the backs of people’s heads. We found out later that this was due to them being annoyed that we had decided to have an engagement party as they didn’t agree with the expence. My fiance and I paid for the party and both have professional jobs.
After the engagement party my fiance spoke to his parents and they pretended that the photos were an accident. In the same catch up they showed us 200 photographs from a trip that they had been in, all taken from the correct angle and in perfect focus!
My in laws now haven’t spoken to me in several months. I have tried invited them out places and sending mesaages etc. They take days to respond to text messages I send, they ignored my birthday and haven’t invited me over in months. When I invited them over for dinner and they finally accepted they doted all over my fiance and ignored me. They usually treat him like crap so this is was very strange behaviour.
My fiance has also been unwell with a potentially life threatning condition. They initially showed sympathy, but ended up telling him just to “get over it,” and get life insurance. He was denied life insurance due to the condition. I can’t imagine the impact that this type of heartlessness has on him.
To top it all off they have also spoken to my friends and told them that they made a mistake in bringing up my fiance and that their other children have much better personalities! My fiance is a loving, hard-working and decent man.
Any advice on the situation would greatly be appreciated. I am really at the end of my tether with it all and feel very anxious when we have to deal with them.