- 3 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
I usually don’t like psoting about this type of thing but I need a netural parties opinion.
Background on where I’m at: FI and I are expecting our first child, I’m 20 weeks pregnant and ever since I became pregnant my phone is always going off with calls from my FMIL. Now I really like my FMIL, however we are two different people so of course we see things differently but we have never had any big issues.Since I became pregnant she is ALWAYS complaining about how out son will have a better relationship with my mom then with her and that she will have to wait until one of her daugthers have a child so she can be close to that grandchild. Please keep in mind we are with FMIL at least once every weekend if not every other weekend, we try to keep her company (big mistake on my end) Where as we only see my mom on holidays and birthdays. Okay here’s what happened this weekend.
We were out to dinner; FI, myself, FMIL, FSFIL, FSIL. FSFIL asked me what we wanted to do for our honeymoon (we get married 5 months after the baby’s born we had already reserved the venue before we knew we were pregnant) so I explained we thought about only going away for the weekend and my mom would stay in our house with the baby. FMIL quickly objects and says well thank you for asking me, I’m just going to have to wait until my daugthers have kids because clearly I won’t be close to your son at all. Mind you we’re in public I’m getting annoyed from hearing this all the time and I really shouldn’t have said what I said but I said here we go you’re always bitching about this, so FSIL says she’s not always bitching (mind you FI and I have been together about 2 years and I have seen FSIL less than 20 times, therefore she’s never around and has no idea what goes on when she’s not around) so I told her “You have no idea what goes on”
FI jumps in and explains to his mother how we are always with her and how my mom is not the type of person to be pushy and she’s a very relaxed person so he wishes his mother would stop making it sound like its going to be a battle. The night continues as FMIL keeps complaining and FSIL just adds more flame to the fire by saying “oh don’t worry mom when I have a kid you’ll have them all the time”
The night ends on a sour note seeing as I didn’t say bye because I’m so annoyed (I know it’s not an excuse but when your 20 weeks pregnant and ready to snap on everyone its best you just walk away)
The following morning I texted FMIL and said sorry for saying she was bitching but that I would truly appreciate it if she would stop comparing what my son’s relationship with my mom will be like in comparsion to his relationship with her, because he is not even here yet and time will determine that. She responds saying it’s funny because when she first met me I said I couldn’t stand my mom ( 100% FALSE!!! I said that me and my mom had issues in the past that was all, and I have no idea what that has to do with anything even if it was true) She says a whole bunch of other things and I sorta just push it all to the side and say I have no idea what my mom has to do with this but again I’m sorry, she chooses to keep going and I just keep ignoring it because I don’t want to fight.
I also texted FSIL and tell her that I said sorry to her mother and that I understand that she has an opinion and wants to stand up for her mother and that I respect that however I wish she would know the story completely before jumping to conclusions. She goes nuts bringing up all these things that have nothing to do with anything. I do the same to her as I did with FMIL repeat over again and over again that I said sorry and that’s it.
I didn’t want to agrue I just wanted to say sorry and if I haven’t I would’ve been labeled a bitch and even though I did say sorry I’m still labeled a bitch. I can’t win.
FSIL continues to talk although I’m giving one word answers. Until she askes whats up with the one word answer. I say I’m not in a talking mood. She starts ranting that this is exactly the shit she’s talking about.
I pass the phone to FI because at this point I’m just done with them.
He texts both of them on his phone and explains that I said sorry and for them to leave me be because I’m pregnant and this type of stress is harmful to the baby.
I’m honestly at a lost and wish I would have kept them all at arm’s length from the beginning because now if I don’t answer their calls it seems as though I’m not over things but I just don’t want to be bothered at all but if I say that their be offended.
I just need some advice or comforting words. Please be kind and gentle.