Post # 1
Hello Hive, can you relate? Any advice??
Last night FMIL called me right before bedtime (the best time to deal with stress! ….ugh) and asked us what we were doing after the ceremony before the recption (we’re having a cocktail reception, no dinner, we’re students and have massive families so we figured skipping dinner and actually having a wedding was the way to go) I told her we were doing pictures and then everyone in the wedding party and close family (those taking pictures basically) were having dinner at my mom’s place.
She then proceeds to tell me about how F-Grandma-IL wants to feed her whole family’s side and could they get into our reception venue early so they could set up and have dinner there. FMIL has pushed the dinner issue a few times, she makes little comments about how cheap it was to feed everyone at her (2nd) wedding (which was only 30 people and not our 300), etc. but we’ve just ignored it. We explained to her this was the way we wanted it but she won’t let it go.
So last night she starts asking if we can get into the venue early (basically we would have to pay the security guard and bar staff for an extra hour and a half) and if they didn’t feed them what exactly did we think they were going to do, etc etc. Well 275 other guests have figured out what they’re doing with the 1.5 hour gap (going to a restuarant for some food!) so I have a feeling their relatives could figure something out! Anyways I guess I’m just upset because it’s 10 days before the wedding and we’ve been planning for a year, if they wanted to do something like this why didn’t they mention it before? And laying claims to my carefully planned and decorated reception hall (and realistically messing it up with food stuffs) before everyone else? I don’t think so.
Mr. Norris and I talked about it last night and besides the fact that we really don’t want them to do this, there’s also a clause in our contract with the hall that states any meals must be catered by their caterer so that’s the excuse we’re running with to tell them no. We already had to stress to them that we were only bringing snacks and not a full meal when we were making arrangements with them.
Seriously, I love this woman, but between this and the attempt to wear a cream dress (quite similar to mine) to the wedding, I’m ready for a little away time. Oh and the icing on the cake, at the end of our conversation she said "See giving a dinner would have been so much easier"…..let’s just say she’s lucky we were on the phone and not in person.
Why can’t the honeymoon come quicker?! 🙂 Anyone else feel me??
Post # 3
I have not honestly ever heard of letting people in to eat early..it will ruin the set up of the room and seriously..YOU AND H seeing your reception for the first time is special!
I’d say sorry but no. Maybe give them a special table or something?? But no to early special treatment and for them to see your reception before you do.
Post # 4
WOW…I have a situation similar to yours…I have been planning this wedding for upwards of about 10 months now…heard nothing except "set a date" from the IL’s…now with 2 months left to go, vendors booked, invitations sent, they want to come to us about inviting more people to our 250 person wedding that FI and I are paying for…they don’t seem to get the fact that we can’t add people not only because of our budget, but because the vendor only allows 250. FFIL actually told FI that WE were going to have to get another venue to account for the relatives "he" wants to invite…OMG…
I would be firm with the contract rules for the venue…that has seemed to work partially for us as of yet…
Post # 5
Oh ladies I feel your pain… I have a funny feelign that my wedding is heading in this sort of direction as well…
Post # 6
She should really know better. I’m sorry, how annoying.
What did you say to her when she called? How did you leave it?
Post # 7
lol what is it with in-laws?! 🙂 It’s not like I haven’t talked to them about details before, and really I think they could sort out their dinner situation without involving me or my reception venue! At least I know I’m not alone, I hope the dude has it settled by the time I get home. Good luck ladies!
Post # 8
Ugg no. Maybe your Fi can be stronger with her. So what happens when the rest of your guests show up aqt the tail end, and think some of the other guests were offered a dinner, but not them? What if by them eating a dinner, the reception venue gets a little dirty and tired looking? Your real reception will start and everyone (else) will walk in to see sauce stains and crumbs on the tables, or some of the appetizer displays missing food, etc.
If she wants to feed peole, and that’s fine, she needs to do it at her home, or in her back yard or whatever.
Post # 9
How pushy! And before bed time, I would be steaming for a while before I’d be able to sleep with that one. Hold your ground, you guys have been clear about what you want and keep at it. Grrr. Just kindly remind her about how the set up is and what they can do with that time. Perhaps even say that the time for the reception area, security guard, barkeeps, is all locked in so she’ll drop it. Perhaps it’ll help.
Honeymoon WILL come and you’ll have a great time.
Post # 10
Good news is your wedding is very soon, and you will not have to deal with her opinions after, lol. But who really asks that? Every wedding I have been to we go and get food at a restaurant before the reception, even when there is going to be food at the reception.