Post # 1
I am laying down some ground work in the planning of our wedding. Nothing too major- just scouting for the venue, making a guest list, looking at different invitations, etc. I plan to start really doing something formal decisions and purchases some time this summer.
However I am looking at venues this weekend and made decision on important things such as my flower girl and my brides maids- all who have confirmed they would be honored. I did not think to ask my FSIL mainly because I really don’t speak to her any way but it just ran through my mind. Would she be offended if she weren’t included? Do I have to include her? What about the venue hunting and dress shopping- would it be offensive if I didn’t include his mom or sister?
I mean I guess the only two reasons why I haven’t invited her is because I don’t really speak to her that much (backstory- I find her to be a bit too intrusive and gossipy) and she is also engaged but I might get married before her (they haven’t set a date yet) so I don’t think she will be too happy about that nor did I want to seem like I was rubbing it in or something.
Is it customary to include the in-laws in on the wedding planning? They won’t be paying for anything.
Post # 3
I don’t know the backstory, but I’m a big supporter of inviting those who you really want in your bridal party, whether they’re family or not. So many people think that if you have sisters or SILs they HAVE to be in your bridal party? WHY? I have three sisters, one sister in law, and two FSILs. I only have one person in my bridal party, my one sister, who is the MOH. I chose my sister because she is the sister I’m closest two, and honestly the one good friend I had at the time who I might have asked was a big flake (which is proven by the fact that we don’t speak now). So in my opinion, you don’t need to include her. Now if you two were super close and you didn’t ask her, I could understand her being hurt, but I get the feeling that isn’t the case.
I am not including my FILs in the planning. They are also not paying for anything, and I really wouldn’t consider myself “close” to them. My mom and my sisters are helping me plan. If they have questions, we’ve answered them, but we’re doing what we want.
Post # 4
I’d leave it up to my FI. DH and I planned ours with minimal IL involvement. If your FI wants them involved in everything, compromise and pick the things that matter to you least. If he doesn’t care, go with that.