- 3 years ago
- Wedding: July 2015
I thought I’d see what you guys think of my situation, because my head is a bit clouded and I might be over reacting. Sorry this is so long.
My fiance and I originally wanted to have a May/June wedding, but were told by my MIL that those months are out of the question, because her two sisters will be travelling at that time. So we pushed the date to 25 July which we currently have a tentative hold on with the wedding venue. Last week, when I told MIL the date, she made a face and when I asked what was wrong she asked if we could push the wedding FURTHER into August, because her brother will be travelling in July and he doesn’t have a return date, but he ‘might’ be back by August!!! At the moment the venue doesn’t have anything available in August, so I’m in a pickle here, but I think I’m just going to keep the date as is.
You can imagine how annoyed I am at this stage, however, there is more!
Fast forward to the weekend just passed – FI and I found an awesome venue for our engagement party and literally the only date that WE and THE VENUE could do the party on is 23 August (note: we got engaged back in May). September/October/November are out of the question for me because I either have an event on every week or my Dad won’t be in country at the time. We have booked the place but haven’t sent any invites yet.
Last night, my BIL and his wife told us they had a wedding to go to on the day we booked the engagement party, so we HAVE to change it. My BIL’s wife (aka my SIL) will not compromise and go to both the wedding and the engagement, which I think is ridiculous. The wedding they are attending is her cousin, (who has been married once before – so has her FI), and they are just having a semi-formal reception at a tavern. So to me, it doesn’t seem like a big deal to leave the reception at 8 or 9pm, to come to our engagement party. I totally understand she doesn’t want to have to miss out on the whole wedding, but sometimes these things happen, and you just have to make it work!
I actually don’t even want to have an engagement party, I am only having one because FI and his family want one and FI and I are paying for the party which is going to be $5-6,000!!
There are various factors which are effecting our ability to choose another date other than 23 August – trust me I have TRIED to figure out how we can do this so everyone is happy. But in saying that no-body wants to compromise with me – they are saying it is just absolutely impossible for my BIL & SIL to do both events in one night.
I basically said to everybody that I would rather not have a party at all, if we have to drag out the engagement party until the end of the year. Like come on, we would have been engaged for 8-9 months by then. It seems pointless to me! I have compromised so much with the wedding date and now this. My FI keeps chopping and changing his perspective because he’s torn in the middle. But he is basically not supporting my arguments at all now.
Of course, I am coming off looking like the bad guy, even though I have been polite and respectable about the whole thing. Am I being unreasonable to expect my BIL & SIL to leave the cousin’s wedding early? I wouldn’t even take offence if they chose not to come to the engagement party because to me it is just a party and nothing spectacular is going to happen there.
I’m just so exhausted trying to book the wedding and engagement on a date that suits everyone, because I know that there are always going to be people who can’t come. I just feel that if the important people know they have to be there, then they can make it happen no matter what!!
In addition – We also had to give up our dream of doing a big Europe trip for our honeymoon, because of the changed wedding date and the timing just isn’t right anymore. Enough is enough!