- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
Ugh, this is such a long post. I’m sorry, I don’t see how to condense it any more than I already have. I just need to rant for a minute about this because I am so stressed out.
So initially, my in-laws to be were supposed to cover all of the venue and catering costs for my upcoming wedding (they were going to host at their place in their big yard and they thought catering was a lot cheaper than it is). This, in itself, prompted us to push the wedding forward to the date it is now (we initially planned on late this year, sometime between October to December, so we would have more time to save [and get better rates for an off-season wedding]). Well, eventually after calling a bunch of rental places, we realized that having an outdoor wedding was going to be way more expensive than we expected. Okay, fair enough – we didn’t find out that our plans wouldn’t work until December, which left us 6 months to find an available venue for that day that we could afford.
After looking for about 3 weeks and e-mailing/calling about 40 places (most booked solid by this time – our wedding is on a popular Saturday), I finally found a great ceremony site. I then settled for a passable reception site because it was extremely affordable and we got all kinds of deals from them (letting us bring in our own wine for the tables, come in the day before to set up, etc.). All’s well, the heart attack is over! I placed deposits on both sites and started moving on with my planning.
AFTER I booked the reception site (which they had referred me to in the first place)… my in-laws started raving about this other great contact they have at a fancy, high-end golf club. Apparently my father-in-law knows the guy and thinks they’ll give him some amazing deal and talks all the time about how beautiful the place is, etc.. At this point, I’m just happy we have our sites booked, I am barely able to balance the books for the setup we have, and it’s halfway through January. I have plenty of other stuff to worry about without trying to rebook the sites, thanks very much – I don’t want to think about moving everything again, chasing deposits down, etc….
But they just… keep… pushing. They REALLY want me to see this place for some reason and won’t stop trying to ‘help’ me book this fancier place. The real kicker is that this place’s first quote is DOUBLE our current budget at $100/pp(!!!!!) and in-laws have no further plans to provide financial help. I had to turn down the wedding of my dreams at a historic site in the area for being the same price – if I had a budget that big, I wouldn’t be getting married at a golf club anyway. My fiancé and I are already freaking out about costs because we were told we had a free venue and catering, and now they’re offering a fixed amount of financial support for food and NO help on the ceremony site or reception site. We are already looking at an extra $4,500 in costs we didn’t plan for when we picked the day and are scrambling to make up the difference… we don’t have credit available to us and have had to drain all our savings to make things come together.
Future FIL e-mailed me today to say that he wants us to meet with the golf club’s co-ordinator next week to see the space and ask questions, and asked when is good for us. I have resigned to a meeting, but I don’t know how to tell them that this place, for SO many reasons, is just not in my best interests. They still somehow don’t seem to get that this place is more expensive, let alone by a huge margin. I don’t understand the issue they have with the arrangements I’ve made, especially since they helped me set them up in the first place! It’s like my wedding won’t be good enough for them the way I’ve organized it, but it’s MY wedding, and I am doing the best I can with OUR money. If they wanted to pay for upgrades, that’s one thing – but it’s another thing entirely to volunteer up our funds (especially when we don’t have any more funds). I am so frustrated right now, I need some advice and sympathy. Help me, bees 🙁
TL;DR: In-laws are trying to make us spend a lot of money we don’t have on a nicer space, don’t seem to want to take no for an answer, don’t know what to do, please help.