(Closed) In-laws are trying to hijack my wedding – so confused!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7992 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Other people trying to take over? Surely not.

Welcome to wedding planning. See all of my relevant previous posts for future details, and advice.

Seriously, you are totally not alone. The trick is to say NO. I’ll let you know when I figure out how to do that. LOL!

Post # 4
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Just straight up tell him that, while you appreciate them trying to help, you cannot afford to have the wedding there.

Post # 5
Member
46129 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t be “resigned to a meeting”. You have already booked a venue. Get your FI to talk to them, they are HIS parents after all, and tell them that the meeting won’t be necessary as you have already booked a venue.

Post # 6
Member
2866 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Do NOT go to that meeting, it will only make things worse when you tell them the venue is not going to happen. Let them know for budget reasons it won’t work but thanks for wanting to help.

 

Post # 7
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Just say NO, its not in the budget. 

Post # 8
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I feel like once you straight up tell people you can’t afford what they are suggesting, it finally clicks in their brains. I too, would just say, “It sounds lovely but it is out of our budget.” and don’t waste your time or their friend that works at the golf courses time. 🙂 Do something more produtive with your day like taking a break from wedding planning and enjoying your fiance!

Post # 9
Member
2384 posts
Buzzing bee

Tell them flat out that you can’t afford that site. 

Post # 10
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with PPs, you really should not go to this meeting, it’s just going to make things worse in the end.  Since this is your FI’s father, he maybe needs to intervene and set him straight that it is simply absolutely not within budget.  This is the time where you really need to set boundaries with your FILs so that they have a blueprint to work with for what is acceptable behavior in the future.

Post # 11
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would just be honest… we have a contract w XYZ and unfortunately we can’t get out of it at this point (which seems to be true?) – you can always toss in a little something to smooth it over like only if we had thought of this earlier! if you like but be careful they don’t decide to take matters into their own hands and cancel the other place

 

if you don’t have a contract I would just be honest .. while I really appreciate all the help you have been we just can’t afford that price and to be honest its not really our vision for the day

Post # 12
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m sorry people are trying to interfere with your special day, its a shame. I think you should spell it out for them, like “we can afford $50pp, the golf club is $100pp. If we could afford $100pp we would be having it at my dream location”. Please let us know how it works out

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