Weddingbee boards

Okay, so I have been having trouble with my fiance's family during this whole wedding planning. refer to older post "would this make you upset?" in "behive" to see my biggest issue. Anyway along the way hsi family has given us lots of advice, which I am sick of, because they are not ideas, they are telling us what we SHOULD do.

Everyone in his family jumped down our throat the second we were engaged for a date (literally that second) and of course we had an idea but I couldnt give them an exact date until we had for sure booked the venue, which we did immediately. It was understandable since they were coming form out of town, but they didn't seem to understand that we needed the venue booked before a date was set. Then even with all of the notice (and notice previous to engagment because his family had a pretty good idea it was going to happen) everyone planned to come in just right before our wedding. I am from the east and his family is not, so everyone planned to get there the day/night before and one sibling the day of and asked us to push our ceremony back! They are all vacationing after the wedding, but no one would take a day off their vaca and just get there a day earlier to get to know my family. Our families have never met (we have both spent lots of tiem with eachothers families) and my parents were excite to meet everyone and go out wiht his parents etc. Well I feel like no one on their end is making an effort or even cares to meet my family. Its liek they are getting there right before it happens and then booking it!

So things like this (and his brother getting engaged after us and setting the date for the week before our wedding, well into our engagment) have made me upset. We are having a formal wedding and I guess his family isn't used to formal weddings, but they aren't being helpful at all. When we asked them to send us addresses probably about a month ago so we could have them sent out LAST WEEK, they still haven't sent us addresses, and they STILL AREN'T OUT. The date is Aug 6! Ah!

So my latest pet peeve is that when we got engaged tehy offered to pay for tuxes and brides bouqet. They said it was something they usually do and wanted to do. So my parents planned our budget not to include tuxes. Well just yesteraday they said they didn't want to do tuxes anymore. And now I'm really upset, because it's not even about the tuxes themselves, its that they are breaking a committment, with not even an apolagy or explanation. And while I know that they don't have to pay for them, it was a nice gesture, it's that they said they would do something and now they are not. And on top of that, I work with my fiance's brother and I know the parents are paying for the flowers for that wedding! So there is no official reason that they aren't paying for tuxes anymore, but this si what I was afraid of with my fiance's brothers wedding, that it would take away from ours, and now I think it might be doing just that. His parents aren't honoring their committments to us so that they can pay for part of the brother's wedding.

 Am I rediculous to be offended?

No actually, the brother and his fiance do better than my fiance and I, we actually are in school right now, so we do okay, but we're students. His parents live in Texas and his brother's wedding is in utah and ours is in DC, so it's not like the parents are already here for their wedding and thats why they get more preference. I honestly don't know. There isn't any drama or crisis with their wedding, they aren't pregnant, but it is a second marriage for both of them so they claim it is so fast because they both knew exactly what they were looking for this time... I think it might be partly because they are just so happy he is getting married again because his divorce was hard. But I feel like they are just letting our wedding go by the wayside. And my parents have been reaching and hsown interest in talking and getting to know them before the wedding and they haven't shown any interest. My mom is flying in for my bridal shower and a big part of that is so she can meet his family because they will be here (Utah-where we go to school) they all do a big thing around July 4th. I've tried to bring this up to my fiance in a nice way, and he was offended and felt really defensive about his family, I knew he would, and so now I'm just stuck feeling this way...