In-laws offered to help pay for wedding. Now they aren't happy…

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 3
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@MissBunnyCup:  How much of a deposit was paid for the venue?

Post # 4
219 posts
Helper bee

@MissBunnyCup:  call FI’s parents and apologize for the misunderstanding, and tell them you’ve decided to keep it simple and elope instead! 

Post # 5
3659 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Of your four options:

1. Will changing the date make the prices go down? Will you lose deposits if you change the date?

2. Don’t take out a loan. It’s not worth being in debt for a wedding.

3. Don’t sell your car. See number 2.

4. I don’t think I would do this either. I would have the wedding you can afford, whether that means you have cake and punch at the barn, you elope, or you wait a while until your finances are better.

Post # 6
4576 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Can’t you just tell them you changed your mind and don’t want their help anymore? Keep you date and go with someone you can afford so you don’t have to put up with any stress from them.

Post # 7
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@MissBunnyCup:  Sorry this is happening to you! Is it at all possible to get your deposit back at this point? Honestly, it sucks to be in the middle of this, but I think your FI is right. Your inlaws made a mistake while you were trying to cater to their wishes. I think they owe you an apology.

Post # 12
2851 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Honestly… If I were you, I would back out of the whole thing. Try to pay back the deposit to your FI’s parents and just elope or chose a place you are comfortable with and not take their help anymore. A wedding should not be this stressful.

Post # 15
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013


how about cutting down on the guest list and some of the cocktail hour food,what about just serving beer and wine,cutting back on flowers,center pieces to help put towards venue cost.

if its not to personal,how much more is there to pay besides the $8000?

Post # 16
3476 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you back out I’m not sure that they can demand the whole fee from you.  You should look into this with your lawyer.  Essentially, contracts can’t have penalty clauses in them.  They can’t try to hurt you for doing something.  If you break a contract, the the other side has to try to remedy it.  For example, you break a lease.  The landlord can charge you for costs of advertising and showing the apartment and the one month of rent they lost…but they can’t charge you for the whole year, particularly if the landlord rents it out again (no double dipping!).  Here, their clause may not be enforceable.  (Now granted at this late date it’s possible they may have a lot of costs in showing and negotiating it again/may not find someone to take the spot, but it’s not guaranteed.)

This is general advice, speak to your lawyer, I’m not licensed in your state.

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