In-laws offering to pay for reception that we weren't going to have

posted 3 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@CarterLove:  I would say no. One, you didn’t want one anyway, and two, even if you can trust your in laws, what if it doesn’t come through? Then you are stuck paying for a venue or cancelling and losing a deposit. I just think the risk involved is too much to play around with. Plus, like you said, you don’t know if that is just the venue or that includes everything, which if you are seriously considering that is a question to ask before saying yes or no.

Can you maybe say thanks but no thanks or close down a section of the restaurant for some music and food?

Post # 4
Member
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@CarterLove:  From what I understand he is expecting to pay the cost of getting the place, it if were an open bar they would throw that cost in at the end as part of your rental. 

I would politely decline his offer as everything else is already planned in regards to not having one. Maybe you can ask if his offer would extend to a later date?

Post # 5
Member
1881 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@CarterLove:  Both of you should speak with ILs about what they are willing to do, what they want, and what you both want. A reception doesn’t HAVE to be a big affair. It can just be a nice dinner for everyone celebrating your marriage. I would see what they had in mind, and what they plan to contribute. If they would just pay for the space rental, well you’ll have to say “Im sorry, thats very generous, but we wouldn’t have the funds to pay for everything else associated with a reception.” If they’re willing to pay for an actual reception, find out what they had in mind for a budget, and plan accordingly. If they are willing to pay $5,000 say then say okay, we’ll start looking at venues, djs, florists, etc that can all come in under that number.

And yes, formal invites are necessary. But show him vistaprint – they don’t have to be expensive.

Post # 6
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d stick with your Original Plan…

Civil Ceremony and Dinner for a very small gouping… (or just the 2 of you) and NO Big Reception immediately after the Wedding

BUT add on a Celebration Party / Reception (that Summertime Party you spoke of) that would happen further down the road.  In that way it can be less formal… and less costly.

BEFORE you make any plans tho… you’ll have to have a real heart-to-heart with the Inlaws to find out exactly WHAT their offer entails… and HOW MUCH MONEY

I wouldn’t make any plans without knowing that… infact I wouldn’t make any plans unless I either had a Cheque for the amount, or them signing all the contracts that are negotiated to make it all happen

Mr TTR & I are Encores, we Eloped to a Destination Wedding, and after our Honeymoon we had a Back Home Reception / Party for a wider group of Family & Friends

It was somewhat Wedding Reception like in that we had a Cocktail Hour, Hors d’ouevres, and a DJ & Dancing.  I wore a white outfit (not my Wedding Dress), and we had a Wedding Cake for Dessert, and there was lots of Bubbly, and a First Dance.

We did send out Fun Invites (less formal & cheaper, than those for a Wedding), and people RSVPed via email.

It was a lot of fun… and tons cheaper than a full blown Wedding Reception (cost us $ 100 a head vs $ 200 or $ 300 per person for a regular Reception with a sit down meal)

We didn’t have an Open Bar (we too are Canadians) … we had as I said a Complimentary Cocktail (Drink Tickets), and Bubbly all night long.  The party went into the wee hours, and everyone seemed to have an awesome time, including us.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 7
Member
3928 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@CarterLove:   Sounds to me as if you’d prefer your original plan, and less stress, so I’d suggest sticking to your own idea.    I think your plans sound wonderful – enjoy your day!!  🙂

Post # 8
Member
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

If you don’t want a big reception afterwards, don’t have one.  I can completely understand not wanting to plan it with just under 3 months left to go.  Also, if the future in-laws are only paying for the venue, you will still have to cover a lot of cost. Maybe they would be willing to cover the venue for the informal reception party thing you plan to have a few months after the wedding instead?

Post # 9
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We also had a very small ceremony followed by dinner at our venue. I didn’t plan on having anything more than dinner afterwards, but my in-laws offered to host a park picnic for a reception the following day. A reception doesn’t have to be formal, and you certainly don’t have to get a DJ, and an open bar, etc. Just chat with your in-laws, tell them as many wedding details as you can so they can get a feel for what you’re going for, and maybe you guys can come up with something that suits you both. Side note, our wedding, dinner, and reception was all planned in 3 months. It can be done! And it can be done stress free. Just focus on the details that are important to you.

 

Post # 11
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

If it’s not something you want then don’t do it!

We were in the running for a $25,000 reception through a local radio contest for the “best proposal story” – but as soon as we found out all the stipulations we realized it wasn’t what we wanted to begin with, and told everyone to stop voting for us haha 🙂

There’s nothing wrong with sticking with what YOU want.

Post # 13
Member
32 posts
Newbee

You need to find out if you both want to do this or not, and also what their affer entails. does it include the dj, food etc, or just the venue?

Post # 14
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@CarterLove:  You can do it! If you want simple wedding invites, you could look into Zazzle.com. They are great, inexpensive but not cheap, and ship fast. 🙂 Don’t stress too hard about the “where”, you’ll be suprised how many people will have an opening. When we decided in March that we were going to get married THAT June, I thought “there is NO way I’m going to find an open venue for JUNE! That’s the busiest wedding month of the year!” Nope, turns out all three places I called had an opening. Deep breaths, it will all work out the way it’s supposed to. And if you need any advice on where to cut corners, just shoot me a message. We cut a LOT of corners and still had an awesome time, and I didn’t hear a single guest complain.

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