- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
This is going to be a personal vent – write it then stop thinking about it so I can move on. Mother’s Day at the in-laws and I’m just getting sick of some of them, especially my BIL.
We’d bought my Mother-In-Law a nice plant stand and mentioned to BIL that he could get a few hanging plants to put on it. He bought one as his gift, so we went out and bought another plus a birdhouse to complete it (I try not to be annoyed that he only spent $8.00 on a flowerpot while we scrambled to finish it, knowing he makes a lot of money, but that is his prerogative) . We get over there in the morning and set it up, she loves it.
My Father-In-Law suggests going out to lunch, so we drive to her favorite mexican food place. The bill comes and, since no one offered, my husband tells Father-In-Law he’ll treat Mother-In-Law to lunch – we split the bill in half so we’re paying for ourselves plus her. SIL, who is graduating high school soon, offers to pay for her own lunch, but Dad says don’t worry about it, save your money for college. BIL (23 years old, full time job) stays silent. Father-In-Law pays for his meal, too.
Dinner time, and I’ve offered to take care of dessert. BIL is going to make dinner as part of his gift. I go to the kitchen to start making brownies and see Father-In-Law preparing three steaks and BIL slowly making his specialty alfredo – I later find out this was his only plan for dinner, to make his alfredo sauce (sauce ONLY – d’oh). Folks, there were 12 people coming for dinner, and this is a family that usually has huge amounts of food, and a large variety of dishes. I ask what I can do to help and immediately am given the task of, oh, everything else. I worked for literally four hours making chicken because there wasn’t enough steak, a salad, potatoes, appetizers, clearing and setting the table – all while BIL slowly makes his sauce and Father-In-Law mans the grill for like 4 steaks. By this point I’m pretty tired and fed up, but still sane and silent. I’m a little pissed at my husband for not helping out, but there wouldn’t have been room in the kitchen and he later acknowledged that he should’ve jumped in and he didn’t realize what I was doing.
We eat. I finish, plate, and serve dessert. People sit around chatting and then they all abandon the table to go outside and start a fire. Mother-In-Law is chatting with her cousin and I realize with a sinking feeling that if I don’t do the dishes, she’s going to have to do them because no one else will think to do this. It’s going on like 9:00, we have an hour drive home and I am craving my own bed, but I get up and start clearing dishes. Their cousin notices and helps me wash, dry, and put away everything. We say goodnight and get out of there by 10:30 – Mother-In-Law asks if we’ll be there next weekend to help her clean her house for upcoming graduation festivities (“Will you be here for your day of slavery?” She’s joking, and normally it would be funny but not after the day I had).
I love my Mother-In-Law and really, my in-laws in general, but they do not get it sometimes. The majority of the work for Mothers Day was done by people who were not the children of the mother being honored – they were lazy. I felt used. I feel used.
I guess the reason BIL bugs me the most is that I know exactly what his financial situation is, and I know that he could’ve helped us out with the present more, and he really should’ve paid for his own meal. They were all annoying me by the end of the day, however, and my husband really got to hear about it on the way back. I could make up excuses for him all day, but really he was just as bad about it.
Ok – letting go of it all now…