In-Laws overstepping? Need advice please!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@LedeLady:  THEY BROKE INTO YOUR LOCKED HOUSE?!?!  What does your husband say about this?  That’s entirely unacceptable (and scary).  I’m so sorry for you!

Post # 4
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@LedeLady:  Wow. Just WOW. I’d be furious! Never mind the fact that you wanted to be the one to show your home to the grandparents, it’s completely unacceptable that your inlaws felt it was totally okay to BREAK IN to your house! I think a conversation needs to be held ASAP because their behavior is completely disrespectful. 

Post # 5
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@LedeLady:  First of all that is COMPLETELY out of line, not to mention illegal. Yes, there are boundary issues, and no it will not get better if not addressed. Your husband needs to bring this up with his parents, and they also need to pay to fix whatever they broke to get in!

Post # 6
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I honestly don’t think it’s that big of a deal.  Yes they shouldn’t have done that but they were probably excited to show them the house too.  I would probably have your husband talk to them about not going in with you there but I wouldn’t make a huge thing of it.

Post # 8
6969 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d have your DH tell them that it needs to not happen ever again. It was mean of them to take the grandparents without you, but I’d be even more annoyed that they didn’t even ask!

My MIL thought it was okay to come into our house while we were at work and leave crap for us on the counter (a bill she wanted paid while she was out of town, crap like that). I let it slide ONCE, and then it happened again. Needless to say I made DH take care of that one.

Post # 9
3841 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@LedeLady:   I would be livid.  Beyond livid.  They were trespassing, breaking and entering…. and being utterly disrespectful.  And, how did they leave the house?  Is it now easier for someone else to break in to?  

Post # 11
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LedeLady:  “I’ll probably go over tomorrow and figure out how they got in

Why doesn’t DH ask them?  It’d be good to know that anyway, for security reasons.

Don’t get mad at me. I have no control over their actions.”

If DH didn’t chew them out then *do* get mad at him! He can’t control their actions but it’s up to him to let them know what is and isn’t acceptable.

Post # 12
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

DEFINITELY time for a conversation about boundaries!

Post # 13
1963 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

  @LedeLady:  They really might have thought that it wouldn’t be that big of a deal to you.  Do they typically do things just to get under your skin?  If not, then you should probably let them know that you were planning on showing the grandparents yourself, and that you were disappointed that you didn’t get to do that.  Then just leave it at that.  If you feel like anything more needs to be said, then your husband needs to say it.  Your husband kind of needs to be the one to play “bad cop” here.  He needs to establish the boundaries with his own family.  

Post # 14
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

Unless you made it very clear to your in laws that you wanted to be the one to share your house with your DH’s grandparents, I’m not sure they did anything wrong here.  The grandparents probably asked to see it and they didn’t want to burden you so they just it. 

Post # 16
896 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@LedeLady:  i would tell my husband to have a convo with them, as that is unacceptable behavior in my book.  

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