In-laws ruining our moment

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@crisy003:  That is so bizarre!  I think you are totally justified in feeling upset, and I think in this case it sounds like your FMIL is indeed trying to steal the spotlight from you and your FI.  

My advice is to refrain from sharing your planning details with your FMIL, and just try to ignore her.  Chances are the other people around you see what she is trying to do, and will continue to be excited for you.

Post # 4
9526 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

First, CONGRATULATIONS on getting engaged!!!

Second, you can feel whatever you want. The more important question is what you should do about it. And the answer to that question is smile kindly and congratulate them and be happy with your own engagement. They can’t ruin your moment unless you let them. 

Yeah, I’ve never heard of someone being “re-engaged”, so that’s a little weird. But it doesn’t have anything to do with your engagement, so who cares? Roll your eyes (where she can’t see you!) and move on. If she’s not being supportive, find people that are – the bees are excited for your!

Post # 5
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Congrats on your engagement!!!!!

Yeah uhm… I’d keep my wedding plans FAR away from that piece of work.

And also – good on you for stealing her favorite kid! Sounds like you rescued him!! 😀

Post # 6
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Im surprised to hear about FILs who are acting even nuttier than mine. So so odd. What they are doing is extremely strange but try not to let it get to you. Obviously they have some jealousy or security issues with you and your FI. It’s sad that they can’t just be happy for you and enjoy your engagement and wedding planning, but you should go on with your plans and try to just smile and ignore them probably.  I have a feeling they might keep getting weirder And you should try to stay out of it. 

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh, man! Sorry you have to deal with such a crazy wretch!

Post # 8
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s not personal. Don’t take it personal, don’t let it give you bad feelings. Just realize how insecure she obviously is and shake your head.

 logical advice aside I’d be pretty annoyed too 

Post # 9
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@crisy003:  Wowza. She sounds jealous, insecure, and…


Do as PP state, keep her as far away as possible from wedding planning. Common responses to intrusive people trying to take over weddings I’ve found on the Bee include:

“It’s a surprise you will see at the wedding”

“FI and I have already decided on that”

“Thank you for your suggestion but FI and I will decided on that”

Repeat until it works. If it doesn’t, keep repeating. Allow someone else to throw you a shower too.

Post # 11
1057 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I think your FMIL are just jealous of your engagement ring and decided since yours is better than hers. She need to steal the spot light from you to revenge you have a nice engagement ring… 


Just leave this person out of your mind, at least your FI real dad are excited for you. Stay with people who truly happy and excited for you instead of those who are cold and negative. 



Post # 12
11 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have learned from dealing with my FMI that you just need to breathe and focus on your day. My FMI tried to get me to do everything her way and when I didn’t she still found a way to make me feel like everything would be awful.

I feel like maybe they just see it as losing their babies? OR they are just competitive by nature and have to upstage any female?

My FMI keeps telling me that my wedding is her vacation and I just get a few hours the night of the wedding to be a bride and to remember that.

Post # 13
2869 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well first things first- CONGRATS!!!!

Second of all- there is no such ” thing ” as getting re-engaged. If you are married… that’s it. You can’t be engaged to be married if you are ALREADY MARRIED. I assure you any and everyone who hears about it realizes what a joke it is.

Post # 14
6048 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

ugh is she going to have a re-marriage to go along with her re-egagement?  That’s what I would be worried about.   She sounds very self centered and I could see her setting a date around your wedding. 

Post # 15
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@crisy003:  Sounds like a bunch of loonies!  At least she wears her crazy on the outside, and eggregiously.  You seem to have tht attidude about all of this.

Post # 16
900 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@crisy003:  She’s clearly got issues.  And she’s clearly not very happy with her little pawn shop ring if A. She has to use it as an example to shame you about yours and B. Just goes out and gets another one.

Re engaged?  So then they’re having another wedding?  Are they 12?

She’s got issues, just let her be a total nut and try to avoid her and don’t talk to her about the wedding if and when it can be helped.


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