(Closed) In-Laws- venting and advice needed

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I felt this way about both my parents and my in laws… they didn’t focus till like a month before the wedding and honestly it was great. It meant that me and my husband didn’t have to worry about making anyone happy and really had full control over the wedding…. so my advice look at the bright side!

Post # 4
12 posts
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hi! I’m not sure if this will be helpful, but one way to look at it might be to be grateful that you’re not dealing with the opposite. If you look around on some of these boards, there are definitely brides who are dealing with overinvolved, overcritical future in-laws. Laissez-faire can be a good thing! 

My only other advice might be to try asking them for an opinion about something, like a minor detail. You could ask your future Mother-In-Law for her help choosing between two small details of something. Maybe they don’t feel that their input is wanted/needed because they aren’t paying for the majority of it. 

That all said, even if they genuinely aren’t interested in the planning stages, it doesn’t mean they won’t show up on your big day to support you and be completely happy for you and their son! Perhaps they are a little burned out on the process, but that doesn’t mean they won’t love you and your wedding. 

Good luck and I hope this helps. 🙂

Post # 5
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I would try and look at the positive side of this – and that is they aren’t trying to force their own way over the wedding!

Inlaws are funny beasts, I’ve already had two sets…the first, I was very young, they didn’t like me, feeling was somewhat mutual…second set, got on very well with them, and I genuinely miss my late Mother-In-Law.  

My FILs?  Don’t like them.  FFIL is very judgemental, Future Mother-In-Law is a professional ‘victim’.  One of the first things Future Mother-In-Law said when we got engaged was ‘we don’t mind if you elope’…translation:  ‘even though we really expect the whole big family shebang, we won’t help pay for it’.  Fine, f**k you then. 

Concentrate on your wedding and ignore them.  If their lack of interest isn’t bothering your fiance, don’t let it bother you. 

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