Post # 1
ok – my first question is – anyone else here NOT have overbearing In-Laws? (thankfully!? lol)
I read so many posts here about many in-laws (mainly FMILs) who seem a bit overbearing and intimidating…ESPECIALLY when it comes to the wedding…but I count my blessings because – as much as I really do love his parents they’re older (he’s 35 they’re in their late 60’s) and MIL can barely get around as it is (she recently had ankle surgery and has been using a walker for a while)…
Maybe it’s just so many movies/tv shows ALWAYS shows the guys’ mom as being this over-bearing intimidating woman who has to be "in your face"…yet mine is so quiet and grandmotherly (technically at 68 she is a great-grandmother, her son (DH’s brother) had his first at 19 and his at 19 too)…
Now, his father on the other hand can be annoying only cuz he’s the kind of guy who has to tell the SAME boring stories over and over again and will NEVER EVER let the person he’s speaking to get a word in edge-wise.
plus – he maybe talks to his mom like once a month? if that?
I talk to mine like 5 times a day sometimes…(we’re really close)
And on the flip-side, too – he and i were talking about this and he finds it a little odd that I’m SO comfortable with his parents but he’s not with mine…he just doesn’t feel that he is as comfortable with mine as I am with his…and my parents are SO incredibly laid back…but I know my dad is a bit shy (which is where I get that from)…but he is also a goofball too.
Anyways – just curious what your all situations are!
Post # 3
I LOVE my in-laws – as if they were my own parents. My FMIL is definitely not over-bearing, she’s the most laid back woman I know. She’s got a heart of gold and never tries to mettle in our lives, but always support. My FFIL is definitely not laid back, but is a sweetheart. He’s such an insightful and caring man. It helps that they like me too (especially because if they didn’t we probably wouldn’t be getting married!) We’re even moving into the same house as them (into the first floor apartment of a four-story brownstone).
I always joke around that my fiance is getting the crazy MIL in my Mom… hehe
Post # 4
i love my in-laws.
i met them pretty soon after me and my FH started dating (we were both in college and from different states, so when we visited over the summer i had no choice but to stay at his parents home).
since day 1, they have been nothing but supportive, welcoming, and friendly. especially his mom – who is just the sweetest person ever. when it came to wedding planning, she offered her help wholeheartedly and they also helped financially. im so grateful to have a set of inlaws that i truly love like parents!
Post # 5
I really like my in laws. His parents are German, so they’re not really familiar with American wedding traditions, so they aren’t overbearing at all.
The only issues we have is when they spoil me too much and I can’t stand it. Although FMIL was out this week and only bought me a birthday present. Totally acceptable!
Post # 6
I get along well with my in-laws. I call his mom and grandmother once a week and his sister and I email each other frequently. I am lucky! Not everyone has the same experience.
Post # 7
I get along with mine fine. They are all nice to me and we’ve had lunch once in awhile, but I don’t love her like my own mom or hang out with them too much and stuff. Mostly just if my FI is in town for something we all go over. I don’t want my mom to think she’s ever being replaced b/c she lives far away and FMIL is here in town. But, honestly I’d just rather go shopping by myself than call her up just to hang out but nothing against her, i just prefer to do things my own way. I get along really well with my FSIL. She’s really nice.
Post # 8
I wish I could say I won the in-law lotto, but I didn’t. My FIL likes to randomly just stop by at our house & sometimes it’s at really inconvenient times. He likes to repeat the same stories and constantly harasses you to try to get you involved in his extracurricular activities. It doesn’t matter how many different ways you say no, he just keeps asking. He also likes to preach to us on a regular basis about a variety of things. My MIL just quietly sits there and lets him do it and occasionally puts in her two cents. And the worst…they lie and go back on their word. They change their minds like their underwear and it drives me crazy. Like how my MIL told my mom she would pay for half of my bridal shower since SHE wanted to have one combined with both our families…then she stiffed my mom! And it’s not because she doesn’t have the $$. We’ve also been stiffed by them. So yeah, it’s hard because I bite my tongue when it comes to them, but on Easter my FIL crossed the line when he spoke to us and I wasn’t too thrilled with how my hubby handled it…I really see some interesting words being exchanged between me and them in the not too distant future.
Those of you with great in-laws…cherish them!
Post # 9
I really love my MIL, and know how lucky I am that I do. I feel so bad for all you ladies that have so many problems with them!
It is kind of funny, though…I am very close with my SIL and she said that every since the wedding, her mom (my MIL) keeps telling her how much she wants to smother me. She says as soon as we got married, it was like all of the sudden she has this strange compulsion to call me all day every day. My SIL says she keeps telling herself that she doesn’t want to be "that MIL" so she just keeps restraining herself. I’m hoping her restraint doesn’t suddenly expolde once we get pregnant or something!
Post # 10
My fiance’s family is really cool! I adore them. They are very down-to-earth, casual, intelligent people. The only thing I find intimidating about them is that you have to mentally keep on your toes because they are REALLY honest when you say something unintelligent, haha. Over all I definitely can’t complain!
Post # 11
I’m definately on the ‘lucky’ side. My inlaws to be are very supportive and don’t medle at all unless asked. I get along terrifically with MIL and Sister in law. The best part is my fiance gets along great with my mother! It probably helps that we are 3 timezones apart 😉
Post # 12
His father died about 15 years ago, and his family is very small, so I really only have a few to deal with. For the most part, I get along great with them. His mom is very needy sometimes but not overbearing. The only irritating thing is that they are all so rushed to marry us off. They don’t understand why we haven’t just gone to the JOP. Other than that, they are all pretty cool. That, and if they do anything to piss us off, he has no problem with speaking up, so that helps.
Post # 13
I really think I won the InLaw-tto.
My FI’s family is wonderful. They are sweet and helpful but not pushy. In fact, his mom has been more helpful than mine. I don’t know what I would do without her. I am so blessed to be on the lucky side of the in-law issue!
Post # 14
I feel incredibly lucky as well. I’ve spent a lot of time with my in-laws, because my fiance and I have been together since we were 16 and in high school, and they really do feel like my second family. I’m studying in Italy right now, and they just came to visit me (without him!) and it was great. They treated me to a trip to Capri and the Amalfi Coast, and visited with me in Florence too. It was great to see them and not awkward at all like one might imagine!
I really do love them like my own family and feel incredibly blessed.