(Closed) In-laws who wrecked our wedding are divorcing (and I still want a do-over)

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You can’t really have a do-over for your wedding day, but you can definitely have a vow renewal! Maybe plan a killer party for your 5 or 10 year anniversary?

Post # 4
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Renew your vows someday.

Post # 5
Member
9956 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

(( HUGS )) to you

Bad-assed inlaws suck… sorry

You certainly can have a “do over” as others have mentioned it is called a Vow Renewal…

Plan one for you and your Hubby (alone OR with Friends & Family) for an upcoming milestone Anniversary…

5, 10, 15, 20, 25… are all good numbers !!

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 6
Member
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@automaticflowers:  wow, I just read your post about your wedding day and i’m astounded! People can be so awful and i’m so sorry you had your special day tainted by their innapropriate childish behaviour. You totally deserve a do-over!

Even though you can never really re-do your wedding you can certainly throw yourselves an AMAZING party and do a vowel renewal! It’s lovely to hear your husband still considered the day so special as that’s what is really important at the end of the day – the two of you! But I say throw an awesome celebration of your marraige or go on a fab holiday.. far away from his family!!!!!!

Post # 7
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ok, this is going to sound snarky, and I genuinely don’t mean it to, so please try not to take it that way 🙂

You need to get over it.

I know you dream about your wedding, and I know it hurts. I also read both of your posts and you’re right: they were asshats on your day. But holding on to this anger and resentment is only doing YOURSELF a disservice. Your in-laws let their own drama get in the way of your day. It was petty and immature, but unfortunately just because people are parents does NOT always mean they will act like adults.

Is there any way you two can take a tirp somewhere for your one year? Maybe do a vow renewal (and I mean a very basic one….you could even just recite vows to each other alone on a beach and then go for a nice meal-that’s our plan this year).

Try to focus on the things that are great: you married your best friend. And you get to spend the rest of your life with him. So many people don’t even have that. And while the day might not have been perfect, isn’t it better to have a great marriage than one perfect princess day?

Post # 8
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@automaticflowers:  Despite all the CRAZY SHIT your ILs put you through, you really do look beautiful and happy in your wedding photos! If I were you I’d plan a vow renewal trip for you and your mr. Just the two of you! That way you can have a day that’s truly about your marriage and not worry about anyone else. <3

Post # 9
Member
953 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You’re lucky you’re just naturally really pretty! I can’t even TELL that you had a makeup/hair malfunction. You guys also got some sweet, happy pictures. You should plan a vacation with your parents and do a vow renewal! I feel so sorry for your mother but you guys made the best of an awful situation 🙂

Post # 10
Member
723 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Is FIL, DH’s father? Because, if so, he’s still going to be your FIL regardless of his marital status to MIL. Either way, I agree with PP, you can’t have a “re-do” because it didn’t turn out the way you planned. I also agree to renew your vows that way you get a “do-over” in some sort of way or things will be the way you want.

Post # 11
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@sara_tiara:  

For some people, a wedding is a very important event. I can completely understand the need to have a “perfect princess day” if the original wedding was awful.

Not everyone is blessed to be able to have a wonderful wedding! I find that most women who were lucky enough to have lovely weddings, are just not sympathetic to other women who were not so blessed. Everybody should have a wedding that they enjoy.

Weddings symbolize a new beginning. Some people think that is just as important has having a good marriage.

 

Post # 12
Member
2787 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@TakeTwo:  you totally missed the entire point of my post

Post # 13
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Hey, I read your post about what happened on your wedding day. Why not have a mini do-over? You and your new husband should get back in your wedding clothes and do a lovely vowel renewal ceremony on your first anniversary. Just the two of you on the beach. Get your hair and makeup done just how you wanted it on your wedding day. If you can stretch to a photographer, get some pics of the two of you looking lovely and relaxed without the family drama! Sound like you deserve it. 

Post # 15
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@automaticflowers:  I just read your original posts from months ago, and I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. For what it’s worth, though, you look absolutely beautiful in the photos you posted 🙂 I think I trip for just the two of you back to the beach to read your vows would be perfect. I hope whatever you decide to do gives you some comfort and closure 🙂

Post # 16
Member
2195 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I second a do over! especially before you sell the wedding goodies….. do it up for one day….together!

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