Post # 1
Hi, bees! I am a long time lurker but finally posting as I got engaged last month (!!) after 5 + years of dating my fiance.
We are in the process of buying a condo, and beginning to wedding plan, so things are a bit crazy. I went for a first round of venue hunting with my mom this weekend, for a projected December 2015 wedding date. I visited three venues and absolutely fell in love with one. The two Saturdays I wanted are already booked. They have a less desirable Saturday (the 19th) and 2 Friday nights and Sundays.
Bees- what are your thoughts? Should I go for the venue I absolutely love and have a Friday evening wedding? What would you think as a guest? I feel like while people might be tired after work on a Friday, at least they have the whole weekend to recover, whereas on a Sunday evening, they may feel pressure to not drink as much and want to leave early. Or should I go for it on the Saturday that is closer to the holiday time? There is a 10 dollar a head difference between the Fri/Sun and the Sat night price.
Would REALLY love any thoughts or opinions on the subject. Thanks in advance!!
Post # 2
My FI and I made sure to discuss what we would do in case our desired dates were taken, sinve we had a narrow range of dates to choose from due to other events happening about a month before and a few weeks after. If we couldn’t get our Saturday, we were going to do the Friday wedding. Some vendors can be cheaper on Friday nights, and people will still attend. Have you thought about January instead of December?
Post # 3
Go for the Saturday, with the less desirable date. We had a Friday night wedding and a number of people didn’t attend, because they didn’t want to take off work. We got no discounts.
My daughters both had Sunday night weddings, over a 3-day, summer holiday weekend; one had only 10% decline and the other had 30%, so go figure. The 1st had about a $50 discount per person and the other had none.
Post # 4
I was in a wedding that was that same weekend two years ago on the 17th, and the attendance rate was very high. We looked at our dream venue and all of the Saturdays in the two months I wanted were gone, and the owner really wanted us to take a Friday. Since the majority of our guests are 1. friends and 2. out of the city, we knew it would hurt their chances at attending if it would affect their work/vacation time. Look at who you are inviting and just know that the people that mean the absolute most to you will do what it takes to be there, but on a Friday you are less likely to have quite as many people there. BUT if it’s such an in-demand venue, all of the vendors should charge less, UNLESS your area is busy with holiday parties, in which case it might cost the same amount for the busy season. I say go with the Saturday.
Post # 5
Nf1086: So the date of the Saturday would be Dec. 19, correct? To me, that date isn’t a big deal but then again, I don’t travel for Christmas and I do all my shopping online so a Saturday night right before Christmas wouldn’t bother me.
Will your wedding be one that involves a church earlier in the day and then a reception later on? If not, and your wedding takes place at one place (lets say starting at 5:30), that Saturday wouldn’t be a big deal to me at all because I could still get stuff done during the day.
Otherwise, I’d absolutely choose a Friday over a Sunday. I have been to Sunday weddings and they have a different feeling – especially if people haven’t taken Monday off – less partying, dancing and drinking. On a Friday, people will at least have Saturday off and you’ll be able to get a Saturday night feel.
Post # 6
I’d say go for the Saturday…. it is closer to the holidays but I don’t think that’s a big deal!
My wedding was on a Sunday and most of my friends left by 10 (the ones that aren’t used to this kind of shenanigans at least). My DH’s side partied till almost 2am. But we had a very ednic wedding and believe me, his side are parrrttiiiieeerrrssss.
Go for the venue you love, even if you may have to sacrifice the date you had in mind.
I wanted to get married Saturday October 11th….. ended up getting married Sunday October 5th. Ended up not making a bit of difference.
Post # 7
Nf1086: I also think Saturday is the way to go but Friday wouldn’t be too terrible. I just think you might have to move your timeline to later on a friday since most people I know don’t get off work until 5 or 5:30 ish if they work in an office. This may cause some issues with timing ceremony and dinner since you don’t want people to be starving. I’m sure some people wouldn’t mind taking off a little early from work if they could but it does present that extra challenge. It really depends on who all is on your guest list. Saturday before a holiday doesn’t sound like a bad idea if most of your guests are local. Most of our guests were coming from out of town so we never even considered a day other than Saturday. As for a Sunday wedding, I think those work best if you have either a brunch or lunch time wedding with most things ending before dinner time. Just my opinion from the experiences I had at other weddings.
Post # 8
I would only do the Saturday, 12.19.15 date if most of your guests would be local. As a guest, I wouldn’t want to travel that close to a holiday, but I wouldn’t mind going to a local wedding in the slightest. If a lot of your guests are traveling I’d go with either a Friday or Sunday Wedding, on a date further from the holiday. As a traveling guests, I don’t think I’d have a preference, as I’d need to take time off of work either way.
Post # 9
We’re having a Friday evening wedding starting at 6:30. I’m sure not everyone will be able to come, but for the most part, I think it’s better than a Sunday night for reasons stated by PP. I don’t know if you want the Saturday before christmas, since a lot of people travel during that time. But with enough notice, it might be ok!
Post # 10
I’d do the Friday. December 19th is a big deal where I’m from. We get off work the 18th and everyone spends the weekend traveling and shopping for Christmas. I am usually gone the day after we get off from work (which would be .
Also, people aren’t going to have a lot of extra money to purchase an outfit, pay a hotel bill, travel, buy a gift or gift you money. Most of their money will be going toward their own familes. Personally I would decline because money is always tight around the holidays and your wedding would be an extra expsense (even if I was local).
Post # 11
I would probably go for the 19th; if your wedding is really important to your guests, they will put off their travel plans and shopping for one more day in order to celebrate with you. It may just be me, but I typically think of Friday/Sunday weddings as people who are just on a serious budget (which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, I am too), but I see it more as cheap or tacky. And Friday weddings can be really difficult for guests to take off work, especially if they are a few hours from your wedding site.
Post # 12
Are most people local? Do you live in a place where traffic/commute will make getting to the venue during early evening difficult? If people are local and it would be possible for most of them to work all day Friday and get to the venue in time for the ceremony, then I’d to Friday with a late enough start to accomodate the timing. If most of your guest list won’t mind(or can) slip off work an hour or two on Friday afternoon, then I’d do Friday with a more traditional time.
If people are traveling or the commute will keep people from getting there before 7pm, I’d do Saturday.
Post # 13
To be honest, I hate Friday events. After working the whole week, the last thing I want to do is rush home to get ready for an event, or have to take time off to get ready. Plus, in my area, traffic is murder from 3-8 pm, so getting anywhere takes twice as long. I would be annoyed for a Friday night wedding.
I also think the 19th, depending on where Christmas falls, is rough. If it’s the week before, you’re fine, but if Christmas falls the same week, you may have trouble.
Post # 14
Thanks eveyone for all of the input. I really appreciate it. 95% of our guests are local within an hour to hour and a half drive at most. Some of my close relatives would be traveling by plane, but are planning to come several days in advance anyway. The family that is traveling for the wedding does not travel during Christmas time, so I dont think the 19th date would affect that at all. I also polled my closest friends and they said the 19th isn’t a big deal either.
I do prefer a Saturday event. I hope to be able to negotiate the cost down a little bit, but we will see what happens on my follow up visit.
Thanks again for all the advice! i do have a lot to think about!
Post # 15
weatherbug: the ceremony and reception would be at the same place, starting around 6 pm. that’s a good point, people can definitely shop and get things done in the early part of the day.