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What about a memory candle on the alter or at the guest book table.
I did a candle with the following poem (printed on vellum which was attached to the candle):
In Loving
Memory
This light shines
as a symbol of
a life and love
remembered
John Doe
My grandpa past away last summer.. we will be remembering him (since he was scottish and very proud of it) I am going to order my grandma's corsage with g-pa's tartin wrapped around it or pinned to it. and also at the table she will be sitting at we are adding a little bird ornament to the centre piece since he was a bird lover.
My g-ma is pretty private too and would not want anything said or a candle at the front so I thought these other ways were a good way to remember. I also thought of having little bags of bird seed to throw after the ceremony with a tag that said in memory of___ but we decided to stick with the other ideas. I have seen other things before - such as having pictures of (in your case) his father with him in the picture slideshow as a "wishing you were here" slide..
Hope this helps
We had memory candles as well. Unfortunately my photogrpaher didn't take pictures of them from our wedding, so here is my inspiration pic.
I think they are sweet, symbolic, and my guests thought it was a very beautiful touch.
memory_candles.jpg (18.1 KB, 56 downloads) 2 years old 
I think just having a candle burn for him would be a really pretty subtle way to remember him. You could put this candle on the table with his wife during dinner, and have it burn the whole time during the ceremony up front with you guys.
I definitely like the candle idea. I have also thought about setting out pics of our parents and grandparents on their wedding day on our guest book/escort table and then including a single picture of his dad with an "In Memory" label in front of it. I still have to run that by my FI.
@Redeemed Rebekah - I love the little touches you did. Unfortunately, if we went with my FI dad's interests, we'd have little baseball bats and NY Yankees stuff on each table . . . Don't know if it would work with the theme :)
We are doing this in kind of a general way. In the very beginning of our ceremony we will have a moment of silences to honor those not with us.
I would make sure that he really wants to have something at the wedding. My mother died when I was in high school but I didn't want any obvious things bringing it up, we just had the officiant mention that we were honoring the people who were no longer with us.
I know he wants something, not just for himself but because he knows his side of the family will be expecting it. His brother had a little mention of his father during his wedding ceremony and that has been the one thing my FI has adamently said that he does not want. I think he didn't care for the officiant overall and that was a big thing that stood out.
My idea for the cufflinks was kind of my idea for honoring his father without making a to-do out of it, but I think his side of the family might not be happy about us not doing an outwardly kind of memorial, especially since his brother did. Ya know?
We plan on doing memory candles with some pictures of them in their youth and as we remember them (so a pic of Grandpa in his WW2 grab and one at his birthday a year before he passed). I will have to see how it looks all together, we might just do one or the other.
Don't do things to please other people or because someone will be expecting it. That defeats the purpose. Does he want anything on display? If not, then skip it. Be aware that pictures on display may upset people since it is supposed to be a happy time. Having a candle lit is a great compromise and you don't have to say anything about it.
As far as your FH's interests, the day should reflect him too since he's also getting married. If you don't want baseball centerpieces, get a themed groom's cake in his favorite flavor.
Personally we aren't doing anything because they are with us in spirit. Also, if we have anything on display, it will cause our family and friends to be upset/uncomfortable since it does give off a funereal vibe, even if that isn't the intention, which is the last type of feeling we want anyone to have.
In the end though, you have to decide what works best for you that doesn't make any of your guests uncomfortable.
I was also looking for some subtle ways of remembering my mom, who died in 2005. She was a huge Queen fan, so I'm using one of their songs for my processional. She also really liked butterflies, so I'm incorporating them into my bouquet. I'm not sure if your fiance's father had any favorite songs, but perhaps you could incorporate them into the pre- or post-ceremony music, or see if he wants to use that song for the mother-son dance. Or maybe you could include some NY Yankee item in your fiance's bout.
I just found some inspiration for this the other day. And I can not remember where I found it... Actually, I may have found it on here...
But I think this is sooo important to honor them some way.
memory-table.jpg (55.4 KB, 54 downloads) 2 years old 
I know that you said you weren't having programs but I thought I would mentione this in case anyone else is looking for ideas...
A friend of mine recognized her late father by mentioning in her program "The flowers the Bride is carrying are in honor of her father, (NAME)"
Im glad I looked at this post, I too lost my father and wanted ideas so that I may honor him. Thanks bees!!
redherring - what about releasing butterflies after your ceremony?? Same thing for the LadyGoodman....I had a teacher who got married and her father had passed away so they released butterflies which for you redherring would be PERFECT! Or you could release doves! Its special and unique but no one has to know WHY you are doing it so it can be more of a joyful thing
My mom died in 2005 and she LOVED yellow roses so I am going to have a single long stem yellow rose in a bud vase in her honor. I am still trying to decide if I want to carry over the yellow into my wedding theme or just let it stand out.
Please don't release butterflies - it's horribly cruel and many of them die!
We will probably do "a toast to absent friends" during the reception - I think my FFIL will do it. It's been my favorite idea so far.
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My FI and I are trying to figure out how to honor his father, who is deceased, during our wedding. My FI is a little private and doesn't want to do anything big or over the top to honor his father, but we do want to include something.
So far he has turned down mentioning his father during the ceremony and leaving a seat open at our ceremony for his father. We're not doing programs, so that leaves out making a mention to him there.
I am getting him locket cufflinks with his last name inital engraved on it and a picture of his dad inside . . . other than that, any other ideas of how we can honor his father at our wedding?
What did you guys do in memory of loved ones?