Post # 1
Alright, so my SO met a awesome guy beck in tech. school who he became really close friends with and eventually (after getting engaged and planning a wedding) deided he should be a groomsmen. The guys is older than us and has a wife and two children who are not in the wedding. I have never met his wife nor have I met his children. Anyway, my So told his friend our theme colors during a conversation regarding his tux rental and this immediantely seemed strange. I asked why he brought up our theme colors (tuxes were pre chosen at mens wearhouse and my SO does not care much for those details) and he said that his friends wife had wanted to know what everyone would be wearing. Maybe she was trying to avoid wearing certain things? Our colors are turquoise and champagne so it isn’t really a common everyday color (champagne maybe..).
Anyway, she messages me on facebook saying how excited her daughter is to wear her dress to the wedding and how excited she is as well. I said that was wonderful and then she sent me the pictures….She will LITERALLY match the bridesmaids and he daugters dress is the same as the flower girls! My jaw just dropped because it just seemed so odd. I just said they were beautiful and ended the conversation…Do you think they got confused somewhere and thinks they are in the bridal party? Or do you think it normal to want to match the bridal party is your Spouse is in it…I am just a little annoyed but know I can’t control it…Should I find my sister (the flower girl) a different dress so that she feels special? There are only three little girls attending the wedding and I know the third one is wearing a really cute purple dress that I got for her birthday…
Post # 3
@Payless: Instead of being silent, why not say, “Wow, that dress matches the wedding party exactly! Is that what you were going for?” Then you can clear up any misunderstanding that might have occurred.
Post # 4
Hmmm, in the past I know I’ve worn colors that compliment DH if he was a groomsmen or something. But matching, eh, no way. Teal is a very common color right now, so maybe she does not know that the bridesmaids will be in teal? Or, I’m guessing she for sure doesn’t know that the bridal party dresses look just like hers and her daughters. I wouldn’t say anything and just let it go. Your sister will be the one walking down the isle, holding the flower basket, so I’m sure she’ll still feel special.
Post # 5
- Wedding: February 2017 - Seattle, WA
I don’t think they are under they impression that they’re in the wedding. Some people just like to wear the wedding colors… I wouldn’t think much of it.
Post # 6
@Kings7911: +1. She probably just wants to match her husband. No one will confuse her for a BM and no one will think her daughter is the flower girl. I’m sure it will be fine =)
Post # 7
I love trying to compliment the wedding party- it makes me feel more supportive. I’m a strange person like that.
When I was a BM, I got by guy a matching tie. He was mistaken to be part of the party, but only once, and only because he showed up early with me to help some set up, not because he was wearing the exact same thing.
It probably wasn’t meant to hurt you, and chances are the flower girl dress thing is just a coincidence.
Post # 8
@Payless: I feel like there is not a lot of clarity on wedding colors and what guests should wear. My general rule of thumb is to avoid the colors of the wedding party. I usually like to wear a black formal dress to weddings just to ensure that I’m not meshing with the wedding party and I blend in as a guest lol.
However, I remember going to my SO’s brother’s wedding (which SO was in), and my hair dresser started complaing about me wanting to be the girl in a basic black dress. Then she went on about how at her sisters wedding, all the non wedding party dressers wore black instead of the colors of the wedding which were silver and royal blue. I mean-MY HAIRDRESSER of forever who does weddings all the time was giving me this advice! Hopefully this lady wasn’t given the same advice like this from someone lol and if so be gentle, maybe they don’t go to a lot of weddings lol.
So, maybe its different for everyone but if you don’t want her wearing that, I agree with @peachacid, maybe you can ask her if she did it on purpose and then maybe you can gently clear up the confusion.
Post # 9
Maybe she wants daughter to match Daddy?
It’s a little bizarre in my neck of the woods, but I’ve heard of it elsewhere!
Post # 10
@MadTownGirl: She and her hubby are tagged in the wedding social group where I post wedding planning things so I know she had seen them on there (you get notified when a member has seen a post). She asked to clarify with me after she sent the pictures of her own attire that our colors were turquoise and champagne.
If she was just trying to match her hubby then I don’t mind, it is a little annoying but not a big deal. I just was worried she might have thought she was apart of the wedding party. The men are in light greay with champagne shirts and turquoise vests and the girls are in turquoise dresses with champagne sashes and greay parasols….I would think if you wanted to complement you could wear tan or champagne but it is what it is
@peachacid: I will try and have my hubby clarify with the husband (I am just not super close to her and don’t want to offend) but if she was just trying to match then I don’t have a problem (so hopefully the latter is true)