In need of advice on how to handle this…

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9949 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Payless:  Instead of being silent, why not say, “Wow, that dress matches the wedding party exactly!  Is that what you were going for?”  Then you can clear up any misunderstanding that might have occurred.

Post # 4
1787 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Hmmm, in the past I know I’ve worn colors that compliment DH if he was a groomsmen or something.  But matching, eh, no way.  Teal is a very common color right now, so maybe she does not know that the bridesmaids will be in teal?  Or, I’m guessing she for sure doesn’t know that the bridal party dresses look just like hers and her daughters.  I wouldn’t say anything and just let it go.  Your sister will be the one walking down the isle, holding the flower basket, so I’m sure she’ll still feel special.

Post # 5
1132 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Seattle, WA

I don’t think they are under they impression that they’re in the wedding.  Some people just like to wear the wedding colors… I wouldn’t think much of it.  

Post # 6
3089 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Kings7911:  +1.  She probably just wants to match her husband.  No one will confuse her for a BM and no one will think her daughter is the flower girl.  I’m sure it will be fine =)

Post # 7
2173 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I love trying to compliment the wedding party- it makes me feel more supportive.  I’m a strange person like that.

When I was a BM, I got by guy a matching tie.  He was mistaken to be part of the party, but only once, and only because he showed up early with me to help some set up, not because he was wearing the exact same thing.

It probably wasn’t meant to hurt you, and chances are the flower girl dress thing is just a coincidence.

Post # 8
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@Payless:  I feel like there is not a lot of clarity on wedding colors and what guests should wear.  My general rule of thumb is to avoid the colors of the wedding party.  I usually like to wear a black formal dress to weddings just to ensure that I’m not meshing with the wedding party and I blend in as a guest lol.

However, I remember going to my SO’s brother’s wedding (which SO was in), and my hair dresser started complaing about me wanting to be the girl in a basic black dress.  Then she went on about how at her sisters wedding, all the non wedding party dressers wore black instead of the colors of the wedding which were silver and royal blue.  I mean-MY HAIRDRESSER of forever who does weddings all the time was giving me this advice!  Hopefully this lady wasn’t given the same advice like this from someone lol and if so be gentle, maybe they don’t go to a lot of weddings lol.

So, maybe its different for everyone but if you don’t want her wearing that, I agree with @peachacid, maybe you can ask her if she did it on purpose and then maybe you can gently clear up the confusion.

Post # 9
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Maybe she wants daughter to match Daddy?

It’s a little bizarre in my neck of the woods, but I’ve heard of it elsewhere!

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